A LITTLE CIVILITY IN ORDER AT T.O. COUNCIL MEETINGS.

Byline: James Bemis Commentary

The recent flap over Thousand Oaks Mayor Michael Markey's attempt to restrict the subject matter during public comment periods at the City Council meetings points out what's missing from today's civil discourse: civility.

Trying to limit what he called ``political speeches by candidates and their campaign managers'' at council meetings, Markey abruptly halted the orations made by several council candidates. Not surprisingly, shouting matches ensued, causing already hard feelings to become further inflamed.

This prompted a showdown Sept. 22, when the council voted 5-0 to ``reaffirm existing policy'' regarding public comment guidelines, with Markey backing down on the subject restrictions. Even this rare display of unanimity didn't last long, though, as a rancorous debate about First Amendment rights soon erupted.

Besides the drama, the spat also saw moments of low comedy. One council gadfly protested the city's rule limiting each speaker to three minutes by appearing at the microphone carrying a miniature skeleton, inquiring whether he and his bony companion together could talk for six minutes, causing the council chambers to quake with laughter.

The Lincoln-Douglas debates these ain't.

It's becoming harder to separate policy from politics among T.O.'s warring factions, both on the council and off. Each side shares blame for the furor: The mayor's heavy-handedness smacked of arrogance, providing the fuel for further outbursts. And his critics barely contained their glee at having such a golden opportunity to make political hay. They wasted little time in waving the bloody shirt of free speech, even calling for Markey's resignation during a noisy City Hall demonstration.

Maybe I'm naive, but this seems like a battle that needn't have been fought. The matter could have been easily resolved through the exercise of a little civility by each side. Civility, defined by Webster's as a ``deference to the social order befitting a citizen,'' presupposes a code of respect for others that transcends political differences.

But the ``win at all costs'' mentality permeating our contentious society makes regard for others look like a loser's game. This episode perfectly illustrates the modern mania of pushing one's rights to the nth degree without consideration of the responsibilities - including respecting the rights of others - those freedoms entail.

Our culture's coarsening has much to do with the loss of courtesy among us. After all, what is civility but the duty we owe strangers to behave toward them as we wish them to toward us? Put another way, manners are the golden rule writ small.

Markey does have a point: Council meetings are for conducting city business, not a venue for political campaigning. It's an affront to those attending on serious matters to waste their time with sloganeering and buffoonery. It's not hard to see where having no limits at all would leave us - endless, irrelevant speeches about goodness-knows-what. Adherence to reasonable rules regarding time and content poses no threat to those wishing to address the council in good faith and on pertinent topics.

Having said this, the council's rules should be enforced in an evenhanded, courteous manner, providing speakers with wide latitude. Despite the district attorney's opinion that candidates' statements can be stifled when straying too far from city business - especially in a place as cantankerous as Thousand Oaks - it's better to err on the side of allowing too much speech rather than too little.

Further, how one enforces the rules is just as important as the rules themselves. Council members should behave as the adults, so to speak, enforcing the house rules equitably, allowing others - particularly their opponents - a chance to have their say.

As elections approach, the need for fair play by the council gains in importance. Civility toward their critics would not only be a sign of council members' political maturity, it might even win them some new friends. After all, more gadflies are captured with honey than with vinegar.