A FEW IDEAS FOR MAC'S PAYOFF PITCH.

Byline: KAREN CROUSE

Moments after he became the first player to hit 62 home runs in a season, Mark McGwire declared he was going to Disney World. Why stop there? For the St. Louis slugger, the basepaths are lined with gold. Whether it's homers he's hitting or products he's pitching, the sky's the limit. Consider the possibilities:

All-American Auto Glass Window Repair. Because 550-foot home runs happen.

Milk. A white mustache to go with his red goatee.

Sports Connection fitness centers. Because Linda Evans hawks health clubs and the only records she has broken lately are those of her ex-flame Yanni.

Ruth's Chris Steak House. Real men eat custom-aged and corn-fed beef.

Hasbro. Because every sports hero should be an action figure.

MCI. We all know he can dial long distance.

Powerade. Because man does not ingest androstenedione on saliva alone.

Vans. Footwear as unpretentious as the player himself.

Ouija board game. Because he'd really like to know what Maris and Ruth think.

Green Giant Canned Spinach. Popeye would envy his biceps.

Hallmark greeting cards. Because psychotherapy showed him real men express their feelings.

U-Haul Self Storage. His 1987 Rookie of the Year award is stashed away with other awards and assorted memorabilia and there's more clutter where that came from.

Stay Sharp Permanent Markers. Because they leave an indelible mark, just like he has.

The Lock Doc. Someone's gotta pinch hit if he misplaces his key to St. Louis.

Norelco Advantage razors. Because he already has one shadow in Sammy Sosa.

Nikon cameras. He shouldn't be the only one taking his best shots.

U.S. Postal Service. Because he also specializes in air-mail deliveries.

Target stores. The left-field bleachers are his bullseye.

Audubon Society. Because he's the reason all eyes have been on the Cardinals.

Aim toothpaste. Perfect for the slugging son of a dentist.

TWA. Because flights into its St. Louis hub are re-routed to avoid his home-run balls.

Hanes underwear. Boxers or briefs, inquiring female fans want to know.

Stouffers Hearty Portions frozen dinners. Because who wants to go to restaurants and be mobbed?

Maalox. Opposing pitchers stock up on the stuff when he's in town.

Great Expectations Dating Service. Because connecting in love is harder than connecting at the plate for this DWM.

M&Ms. McGwire and Maris. Maris and McGwire. What could be sweeter?

Dr. Scholls. Because the Lord of the Arch city has god-awful arches.

Cap'n Crunch cereal. The breakfast of sluggers.

Toys-R-Us. Because he's a big kid at heart.

Popsicle Big Sticks. He'd melt over the Big Reds.

Baskin-Robbins. Because they are famous for their blasts too.

Creatine. Candy for his muscles.

Timex. Because he cleans pitchers' clocks.

Champion athletic wear. The label fits.

Coca-Cola. Because he's the real thing.

Planet Hollywood eateries. There's no brighter star right now in the celebrity constellation.

House of Fabrics. Because curtain calls have become part of the fabric of his life.

Amazon.com. Aeronautics. Classics. History. Self-improvement. It's got all his bases covered.

All America Auto Transport. Because he's accustomed to long drives.

Sinutab. His sky-scraping shots handle the altitude better than his cranky sinuses.

Laser Eye Center. Because he's blind as a bat (wood or mammal) without his contacts.

Dockers. They fit loosely, like the cover on a ball he has just whacked.

Payday candy bars. Because he struck it on 09-08-98.

Androstenedione. In addition to its other benefits, he has suggested it's a poor man's Viagra.

Kleenex. Because there is crying in baseball.

Ritz-Carlton hotel chain. His home base during the season.

Boggle. It's hard to find the words to describe his achievement.

Cadillac. Behold a Mark 62.

The Abbey. The baseball caps already are a hit, can the signature Biggest Mac burger be far behind?

Panasonic Digital Palmcorder. Because he may make history again but his son Matt will only be 10 once.

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PHOTO Mark McGwire's history-making 62nd home run should lead to a Jordanesque stack of endorsement deals.

G. Paul Burnett/Associated Press