A DOSE OF HUMOR BREAST-CANCER SURVIVOR LIGHTENS SERIOUS HEALTH ISSUES WITH LAUGHTER.

Byline: Mariko Thompson Staff Writer

BEST-SELLING HUMOR writer Jan King laughed her way through menstruation, childbirth and menopause, and had female readers all over the world laughing with her. Then came breast cancer, which, as King can attest, is no joke.

But if humor will get the early-detection message across to women, then King will do it. In her latest book, ``When You're Hot, You're Hot,'' the Chatsworth-based author tackles menopause. Amid jokes about mood swings and night sweats, King skillfully interweaves her battle with breast cancer.

King, with her long blond hair and svelte build, does not look like she's ever been sick a day in her life, much less survived a double mastectomy. The vibrant, gregarious 58-year-old has been cancer-free for almost five years.

``I like to take the fear out of these processes, whether it's surgery, going to the gynecologist or having a mammogram,'' King says. ``Denial kills you, not the cancer. If you hide from that lump in your breast and you don't talk about it, that's when you get into trouble.''

King embarked on her writing career at age 46 and has published 19 books. She's perhaps best-known for her 1990 book, ``Hormones From Hell,'' which has sold more than a million copies and has been published in Chinese, German, Italian and Russian. She recently sold the rights for a Polish translation.

A biology teacher in south Philadelphia in the late '60s and early '70s, King taught sex education to sophomores, an experience she described as a breeding ground for comedy. She also was married to a doctor for 20 years. (She's now married to her first publisher, Mark Chutick.) Her ability to talk about health issues and medical procedures in a down-to-earth way makes ``When You're Hot'' more than just the average humor book.

``She shows you by example and deed how she takes care of herself and how it's important for women to take care of themselves,'' says Fae Lipeles of Northridge, who brought King to speak to her book club at Hadassah, a women's Zionist organization. ``She does it in a gentle and knowledgeable way.''

Under the radar 

Though it might sound contradictory, humor is actually an effective tool to communicate messages that otherwise would be frightening or unpleasant, says Midge Wilson, professor of psychology at DePaul University in Chicago, where she teaches a course on humor and group identity. Wilson, who has researched gender differences in humor, also says women tend to make self- deprecating jokes as a way of bonding.

``Humor works as a stealth bomber,'' Wilson says. ``It flies under the radar and allows you to open up and hear new things.''

For years, King suffered from fibrocystic breast disease and visited the doctor twice a year to remove benign cysts. It was on one of those routine visits in 1997 that she discovered she had lobular breast cancer - a type of breast cancer that doesn't show up on mammograms. As luck would have it, a benign cyst had grown on top of the tumor.

King, informed that lobular cancer has a one in five chance of recurring in the other breast, decided she didn't want to worry about cancer every time she had a benign cyst. She opted for a double mastectomy and reconstruction.

In December, while recovering from the surgery, she got a call from the ``Today Show.'' The producers wanted to book her to roast Matt Lauer on his 40th birthday. Figuring the show would provide a welcome distraction, King flew to New York.

On the show, she launched into 40th-birthday jokes about receding hairlines and gum lines. She fanned blank pages in a book titled ``Sex After 40.''

``Right in the middle of the interview, he says, 'Who booked you on this show?' '' King says. ``Now here I am with my chest bandaged and with a drain under my armpit. And I'm thinking, 'What is his problem? He's 40 years old, he's healthy, he makes a gazillion dollars, he's famous.' ''

Before her battle with cancer, King says she would have crumbled. Instead, she finished her routine and turned the incident into material for her book.

``See, this is what cancer does to you,'' she says. ``You want to shake people and say, 'This is life. Love it no matter what.' ''

New nipples: $1,500

Even cancer has its absurdities and King makes the most of them. New nipples, she learned, aren't included with saline implants. Nipples cost extra - $1,500 extra.

When surgeons finished fashioning nubs out of scar tissue, she gave the operating crew a thumbs up: ``Houston, we've got nipples.''

``I think my breasts look better than they did before, honest to God,'' King says. ``I'm in my 50s and I've got perky breasts.''

She continues to work out six days a week at the gym. She's added meditation to her daily routine to reduce stress. She's cut processed foods from her diet. Every morning, she drinks an anti-oxidant-filled smoothie made of carrots, apples and ginger.

As a cancer survivor, she has to live with percentages. Every year, her odds of remaining cancer-free go up. King, always upbeat, recites the names of famous women who continue to beat breast cancer: Julia Child, Olivia Newton-John, Nancy Reagan, Ann Jillian.

``In the old days, breast cancer was a death sentence,'' King says. ``Not anymore. But let's face it - the earlier you get to it, the more chance you have of beating it forever.''

When it comes to frank talk about the body female, much has changed since King started publishing 12 years ago. Thanks to Eve Ensler, who penned ``The Vagina Monologues,'' the word vagina has an entirely new cachet. For King, whose books have been rejected by publishers as too edgy and crass, the turning point came when a quote from one of her books ran in Reader's Digest. The magazine known for mild-mannered, mainstream writing cited her definition of mammogram: ``Whoever thought up the word mammogram? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.''

With female reproductive health no longer a taboo subject, women need to be active in medical decisions and not just following doctors' orders, she says. In the book's section on hormone replacement therapy, King cautioned women that the medical establishment's assurance on the safety of HRT was opinion, and subject to change. In July, just months after her book was published, the Women's Health Initiative halted a national study on HRT when researchers determined the risks outweighed the benefits.

``We need to be informed, and we need to make good choices about things,'' King says. ``The better educated you are, the less frightened you are.''

Some readers have said they'd like to see more of King's serious side. But King has no plans to abandon humor writing. As long as there are women, there will be comedic material, she says. She would love to be like Barbara Cartland, the grand dame of romance novels who was still writing in her 90s.

``We're not the blue-haired old ladies anymore,'' King says. ``We're in the gyms, we're looking younger, we're more vital. We women have a lot of things to weep about in life. We might as well laugh at them, too.''

Turning the page on cancer

Most people would probably choose a root canal over reading a book about cancer, menopause or any other health issue. Books on disease are, by definition, pretty much a downer. So it helps to add a little humor. Here are a few authors who aren't afraid to go for the laughs:

-- Fran Drescher, who starred in the sitcom ``The Nanny,'' chronicles her battle with uterine cancer in ``Cancer Schmancer'' (Warner Books; $22.95). After two years and eight doctors, the brash, straight-talking actress from Queens, N.Y., finally got her cancer diagnosed. She keeps the one-liners airborne, even as she details undergoing a radical hysterectomy and what life (and sex) is like after cancer.

-- ``Your Guy's Guide to Gynecology'' (Ant Hill Press; $15.95), by Dr. Bruce Bekkar and Dr. Udo Wahn, brings a humorous spin to a comprehensive guide on female reproductive health. Each chapter comes with a Guy-Q test as well as advice from every woman's favorite superhero, Supportive Guy. No guy's guide would be complete without a ``Top 10'' list. See the good doctors' list of things never to say to a woman with PMS. At No. 1? ``Aw c'mon - that PMS stuff is all in your head!''

-- Christine Clifford, a breast cancer survivor and president of the Minneapolis-based the Cancer Club, has written award-winning books that combine her gentle humor with stories of diagnosis, treatment and recovery. Titles include ``Not Now ... I'm Having a No Hair Day'' (Pfeiffer-Hamilton; $9.95), ``Our Family Has Cancer, Too!'' (Pfeiffer-Hamilton; $6.95) and ``Cancer Has Its Privileges'' (Penguin Putnam; $13.95). Illustrated by Jack Lindstrom, the cartoons are poignant and funny. Says a cancer patient about to undergo radiation treatment: ``There's gotta be an easier way to get a suntan in Minnesota during January.''

- M.T.

CAPTION(S):

5 photos, box

Photo:

(1 -- cover -- color) Funny thing

Chatsworth breast-cancer survivor takes humorous approach to women's issues

Author Jan King

(2) Jan King's sense of humor didn't abandon her during a bout with cancer. The Chatsworth author's latest book takes up menopause.

(3 -- 5) no caption (Book covers)

Box:

Turning the page on cancer (see text)