A DAY AT THE BEACH WATER COOLER WHEN THE HEAT IS UNBEARABLE, THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A DAY HANGING OUT AT THE BEACH.

Byline: STEVE DILBECK

HUNTINGTON BEACH - Hot town, summer in the city, back of necks, backs, legs, arms and sheets, getting dirty and gritty.

An entire metropolis melting. Ten consecutive days of 100-degree weather. Asphalt runs into storm drains. Still air thick enough to slice. An entire region unified by sweat.

Yeah, it is a pretty picture. People would walk on sidewalks looking half-dead, hotter than a match head just as the Lovin' Spoonful sang, only it's too hot to be on sidewalks.

Streets are devoid of children. It's too hot to play, too hot to sleep, too hot to make whoopee. They call it a heat wave, but a wave at least implies a light breeze.

Time for the blessed beach.

The seaside is Southern California's giant cooling station. A lone refuge from stepping outside and fearing within seconds you just absorbed enough UV radiation to schedule a first topical chemo treatment.

Perhaps the most famous beach in the country is Huntington Beach. The inspiration for Jan and Dean's ``Surf City'' and this week again home to the Honda U.S. Open of Surfing, and beginning Thursday, the Bank of the West Beach Games.

First an apology to all those scarred by last year's visit to the U.S. Open: I was not responsible for the pictures that accompanied my debut as a surfing god. Please cease billing me for therapy sessions.

It did, of course, leave me famous on the international surfing circuit, and my return Tuesday was greeted by a kind of awe and acclaim to which only Brad Pitt and Michael Jordan could truly relate.

``You're Steve, the guy from the Daily News who took the surf lesson from Holly Beck,'' media coordinator Elizabeth Eide said. ``You almost got up.''

Eide seemed truly saddened to inform me there would be no additional lesson today, but I let her know today's mission was simply about discovering those escaping the heat.

Tuesday, it was naturally hot and muggy at Huntington Beach, but by noon this wondrous gift of clouds rolled in. Not only that, but a strong -- and dare it be said? -- refreshing breeze.

Yet away from the light wind, it was all steam bath. Talking to Eide in a small press room behind bleachers less than 100 yards from the water's edge, it was Perspiration City.

Not your typical sunny Southern California postcard day at the beach. Palms dotting the beach almost disappeared into the overcast sky. But it did offer the one thing we all need right now: relief from the heat.

``When the clouds came in, I was sad,'' Eide said. ``I don't like ugly weather.''

You've got to be freakin' kidding me! This was one of the few places in the state where a person doesn't have to worry about a scorching sun, and somebody's disappointed because of some gray clouds?

So I ventured out amongst them, leaving behind the buzz of construction over 12 acres as they prepared Huntington Beach for skateboarding, BMX and volleyball competitions. Was determined to find those rational types seeking simple relief.

First walked by a yellow-bibbed surfing competitor, and he gave me an odd look.

``Don't worry,'' I said, ``I'm not entered in the Open this year.''

The beach itself was not overwhelmed from those inland. Could have been most any summer day.

The first person I stopped to speak with was 19-year-old Jessie Atterholt of Santa Ana, who by appearances and occupational desires is the world's first Playmate paleontologist.

Atterholt is a paleontology major at the University of Pennsylvania. She was reading ``Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History,'' which seriously boasted being a national bestseller. It was next on your summer reading list, too?

Obviously, she likes old guys, so I figured we'd hit it off. Turns out she had recently returned to the Southland from Philadelphia.

``When I first got here last week, I was shocked it was so hot and humid,'' she said.

Atterhold loves hot weather -- she grew up in Hesperia -- but her days in Philadelphia haven't warmed her to humidity.

``But as long as I'm by the ocean, I'm happy,'' she said. ``I find the beach to be very peaceful. The breeze is cool and the water is warm.''

Wandered down the shore. It was low tide but a yellow flag with a black dot hung from the lifeguard tower, signaling a rip current. Hundreds of junior lifeguards in red trunks and yellow beanies ran past.

A pair of 19-year-olds from La Crescenta, Samatha Divecco and Amanda Garcia, were propped up on their elbows, soaking up the breeze and sights.

``It's so hot back home, it's insane,'' Garcia said.

Not that they actually cool off in the Pacific.

``We don't go in the water,'' Divecco said. ``The beach is just cool, we get tan and it has boys.''

And apparently they have a basic, sure-fire way for attracting the opposite sex: ``If you stare at them long enough, they'll come over. They know.''

Stopped by two other teenagers from Phelan near Victorville, where Tuesday the high was 113 degrees. Sheila Delaney and Angela Humberstone said it took them two hours to drive to Huntington Beach, and it was worth it.

``Any day at the beach is a good day,'' Delaney said.

Took off my sunglasses and winked, but got nothing. Apparently they were unfamiliar with the line from ``Surf City'' that goes, ``there's two girls for every guy, and all you have to do is just wink your eye.''

``Air conditioning gets so expensive, swamp coolers are the thing back home,'' Delaney said.

The breeze gusted. Delaney and Humberstone smiled. The world was melting, but everything at the beach was cool.

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CAPTION(S):

3 photos

Photo:

(1 -- color) When the temperature rises, people from all over Southern California find relief at Huntington Beach, one of the world's most famous beaches.

(2 -- color) No matter the time of year, Huntington Beach is a paradise for surfers.

David McNew/Getty Images

(3 -- color) Beach volleyball will be one of the events at the Bank of the West Beach Games, beginning Thursday in Huntington Beach.

Matthew Stockman/Getty Images