A COMPLICATION OF CALENDARS : ALMOST 5,000 CURIOUS WAYS TO COUNT DAYS.Byline: Glenn Gaslin Daily News Staff Writer So many calendars, so little time. Or so much time, depending on how you see it. Pages and pages of time, in fact. You'll experience chronology overload simply by walking into a bookstore or housewares house·wares pl.n. Cooking utensils, dishes, and other small articles used in a household, especially in the kitchen. depot or mall kiosk Mall kiosks are the free standing kiosks in malls for retail sales. Almost unknown just twenty years ago, the retail kiosk (mall kiosk) is now common in airports and shopping malls. Mall kiosks use otherwise under-used floor-space in the malls. this month. You'll be assaulted by the many forms of the coming year, as captured on 12 big slick sheets. Or on 365 tiny paper squares. Or in spiral-bound pads. There are so many choices - almost 5,000 - that you could have a different calendar for each day of the year. Or, more accurately, 14 calendars a day. One every hour and 45 minutes. At that rate, you'd use every calendar printed this year, according to according to prep. 1. As stated or indicated by; on the authority of: according to historians. 2. In keeping with: according to instructions. 3. Maria Tuthill at the Calendar Marketing Association in Libertyville, Ill., which keeps track of that sort of thing. The billion-dollar industry of selling time on paper is booming, she says, with the average household hosting five or six calendars. Lucky for you, picking out a calendar is easy. Lucky for you, you have only one passion. So let's say you like airplanes. Well, then, what kind? Biplanes? War planes? Paper airplanes you build yourself? Planes in flight? Planes on the ground? Biplanes on the ground all draped drape v. draped, drap·ing, drapes v.tr. 1. To cover, dress, or hang with or as if with cloth in loose folds: draped the coffin with a flag; a robe that draped her figure. over with half-dressed women? There's a calendar or two for each idea. Or what about cars? Corvettes and Mustangs, trucks and tractors, race cars of every sort. And motorcycles! Old ones. New ones. American ones. Bikes from abroad. Old American motorcycles draped with half-dressed women. Something called Iron & Lace. Or Babes n' Big Rigs. And firetrucks galore. Firetrucks in action and then firetrucks just sitting around, red and shiny. Modern firetrucks. Classic firetrucks. Firemen in uniform. Firemen out of uniform. Pigs wearing firemen hats, posing in firetrucks. Dogs doing the same. Oh, so you say that animals snuggle close to your heart! Go ahead and pick your kingdom, phylum phylum, in taxonomy: see classification. , class, order, genus or species, then. Tigers and lions and bears. Koalas and penguins and ostriches. Colts and fillies. Poodles and Shih Tzus and wiener dogs. Each critter has their own year. Sea otters, too. An entire full-color, marked-with-major-holidays calendar devoted to damp, furry sea otters. But no matter what animal appears, 1997 is, at least according to the Chinese calendar Chinese calendar n. The traditional lunisolar calendar of the Chinese people, based on 24 seasonal segments each about 15 days long. An intercalary month is occasionally necessary to reconcile the lunar year with the solar year. , the year of the ox. Of course, you may prefer humans dressed up like animals to the real thing. Little babies dressed up like lions and tigers and bears. Or babies dressed up like green beans green beans Noun, pl long narrow green beans that are cooked and eaten as a vegetable and lounging on mushrooms, all photographed by Anne Geddes in the best-selling calendar this year. Your choices, too, include where to obtain a calendar. Make your own at Kinko's or pull one off the Internet. Carefully track the phases of the moon or build your own Stonehenge. Visit something called the Calendar Club, which has been opening mall stores and kiosks for the past four years, selling printed time. They've got 400 or so outlets now, says James Leonard, district manager for the 30 Southern California stores. So you can visit a Calendar Club every day for a year. Too bad they're only open between October and January. The hot items, he says, are cute babies, cute dogs, pithy pith·y adj. pith·i·er, pith·i·est 1. Precisely meaningful; forceful and brief: a pithy comment. 2. Consisting of or resembling pith. philosophy and funny stuff. Oh yes, and cats. Calendar makers have those little guys do a catalog of cute-cat things like yawn and wear heart-shaped sunglasses and sit on top of a bust of Beethoven and swat at his eyes. But is a wall of full-color doe-eyed kitten pictures enough? How about 365 kittens a year? Or thoughts from Cat Lovers Against the Bomb. Or Felix the Cat This article is about the cartoon character. For the video game, see Felix the Cat (video game).  Felix the Cat is a cartoon character from the silent-film era. . Or Morris the Cat. Or Garfield the cat sneaking his way into classic Norman Rockwell paintings. As cute as they are, fuzzy quadrupeds rarely address the deeper wants of humanity, the peace of Self, the meaning of Life, the pain involved with the passing of Time. So get daily advice from Heloise and Deepak and Dilbert. Feed your soul a daily bowl of chicken soup chicken soup Chicken broth Folk medicine Jewish penicillin A fowl broth with a long tradition as a home remedy for URIs, which may be a nasal decongestant, inhibit growth of pneumococci in vitro, and stimulate immune responsiveness in WBCs Mainstream medicine A on a tiny patch of paper. Learn 365 habits from highly effective people. Or one of 1,400 things to be all happy about. Or the Tenth Insight. Or the 1,001 Sex Secrets Every Man and Women Should Know. Spiritual calendars are all the rage General Public's All the Rage was released in 1984 by I.R.S. Records. Track listing
You can absorb philosophy and knowledge through daily tidbits TidBITS is an award-winning electronic newsletter and web site dealing primarily with Apple Computer and Macintosh-related topics. Internet publication TidBITS has been published weekly since April 16, 1990, which makes it one of the longest running Internet publications. . Stimulate 365 synapses a year with the Zen calendar, the Bible verses calendar, the scores of temple-specific Jewish calendars (good luck finding those, though, since the current year, 5757, started months ago). Surround yourself with angels or cherubs, fairies or unicorns. But the best part about time is that you can leave it at home or take it everywhere you go. You can stick it on your wall, your desk, your computer, your pants. And the size of your calendar can say as much about you as what's on it. You can opt for the standard wall spread, the over-size version or the super-mega-huge posters, most effective when glossy with classic artists' work. On that end, too, you'll find desk-size sheets divided into 30 numbered squares and something called ``The Big Grid,'' your plain-faced organizational buddy. A new form of calendars fit onto 12 cards enclosed in a plastic case the size of a CD jewel box that stands up on your desk. Others come on the end of rubber stamps or can be installed on your computer as a screensaver, such as the one replicating the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Calendar. You must decide: How do you want time to pass? Maybe you'd like to start each day of your life with a Jeff Foxworthy ``You might be a redneck "...You Might be a Redneck" is the tagline for a long-running series of jokes about rednecks by comedian Jeff Foxworthy titled "The Redneck Test," supposing that people do not know if they are rednecks or not. ...'' joke. Or a Dilbert quip quip n. 1. A clever, witty remark often prompted by the occasion. 2. A clever, often sarcastic remark; a gibe. See Synonyms at joke. 3. A petty distinction or objection; a quibble. 4. . Or a few minutes with everybody's favorite amorphous bipedal bipedal adjective Capable of locomotion on 2 feet blob, Ziggy. But if cartoons don't wind your clock, maybe the year 1997 packaged with flesh will. Cover your walls with women dressed in 'coon-skin-and-buffalo-hide outfits reminiscent of the Old West, only smaller. Or women wearing very little and sitting on just about every variety of fossil-fuel-propelled device known to man: cars, bikes, trucks, airplanes. Or men doing the same. Cosmopolitan men and those Chippendales guys. Studs n' Spurs. Manpower Austrailia. Pumped-Up Down Under. Black Gentlemen Review. Hunks hunks pl.n. (used with a sing. verb) A disagreeable and often miserly person. [Origin unknown.] in Uniform. The tanned, curvy rivers of time range in looks from the apple-pie wholesomeness of 1940s pin-up girls to the posthuman experiment we call Pamela Lee Anderson. Also with their own calendars: Gena (Generalized Event Notification Architecture) A method for communicating events over the Web. It is an architecture for transmitting notifications between HTTP resources such as buddy lists, distribution lists and print jobs. Lee Nolan, Elvira, Daisy Fuentes, Kathy Ireland, Cindy Crawford, Jenny McCarthy and Betty Boop. You'd never guess that women buy 76 percent of all wall calendars. But maybe they're buying the pictures of women clothed clothe tr.v. clothed or clad , cloth·ing, clothes 1. To put clothes on; dress. 2. To provide clothes for. 3. To cover as if with clothing. and old and in black and white. Like two historical calendars culled from Library of Congress collections: Women Who Dare and What Women Have Done. History buffs of all stripes can find an outlet for their passion, be it the Civil War or baseball or plumbing. That's right, 1997 can be the year of old toilets, of outhouses OUTHOUSES. Buildings adjoining to or belonging to dwelling-houses. 2. It is not easy to say what comes within and what is excluded from the meaning of out-house. , 12 of them captured in natural environments. Other scenic calendars often double as art galleries awash with the classics of brush and lens: Van Gogh and Dali. Pictures of Bali. Pre-Raphaelites. Caves with stalagmites. Giger and Nagel. Oddly shot bagels. Escher and Monet. Hillsides of Uruguay. Ansel Adams. Castles and mansions. And now reach deep into the random basket to find calendars featuring Wolfgang Puck, Curious George, shoes, quasars Proper naming of quasars are by Catalogue Entry, Qxxxx±yy using B1950 coordinates, or QSO Jxxxx±yyyy using J2000 coordinates. This page lists quasars.
What you won't find, however, no matter how many hours and months and 365 days you spend looking, is a serious investigation of time and its many forms, the calendar about calendars. Maybe next year. Calendar daze Top 10 best-selling 1997 calendars (so far) 1. Anne Geddes (a wall calendar featuring babies dressed up like various forms of vegetation) 2. The Far Side Off-the-Wall Calendar 3. Dilbert: I admire your ability ... 4. Jeff Foxworthy: You might be a redneck ... 5. Golden Retrievers 6. David McEnery Classic Cats 7. Anne Geddes (engagement calendar featuring babies dressed up like various forms of vegetation) 8. Winnie the Pooh 9. Rottweilers 10. Dachshunds Least popular calendars of 1997 (so far) 1. Marbled mar·bled adj. 1. Made of or covered with marble: a marbled façade. 2. Having a mix of fat and lean: a well-marbled beef roast. Adj. 1. paper 2. Shoes - SOURCE: The Calendar Club sales in 400 stores nationwide Top 10 best-selling 1996 calendars 1. Angels 2. Anne Geddes 3. Dilbert: Ask me how my day went 4. Disney Days 5. Far Side Desk Calendar 6. Friends 7. Georgia O'Keeffe 8. Goosebumps 9. Life's Little Instruction Calendar 10. The Muppets -SOURCE: Calendar Marketing Association CAPTION(S): Drawing, 6 Photos, Box Drawing: (Cover--Color) 1997 THE FUTURE IS NOW It's time for our roundup of calendars Jon Gerung/Daily News Photo: (1--6) no caption (1997 Calendars) Box: Calendar daze (See Text) |
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