A 'TALE,' FULL OF SOUND AND FURY, SIGNIFYING LITTLE.

Byline: Glenn Whipp Film Critic

Most of you probably already know that the messed-up medieval movie ``A Knight's Tale'' opens at a joust with a throng of peasants clapping and stomping their feet to the beat of Queen's ``We Will Rock You.'' It's a scene straight out of an NFL stadium's end-zone bleachers with bare-chested men chugging beer, scratching themselves and yawping for their favorites.

It's terrific fun, but aside from one other dance number, it's the only time the movie makes imaginative use of its classic rock soundtrack. Such unevenness is typical of ``A Knight's Tale,'' a frustratingly flawed, overlong epic that blends the Middle Ages and modern times with decidedly mixed results. For every joke that connects, there are three that are obvious and superfluous; for every jousting scene that rouses, there are 10 (20, 30?) that gallop nowhere.

Perhaps this shouldn't be surprising given that ``A Knight's Tale'' comes from filmmaker Brian Helgeland, the man who somehow wrote both ``L.A. Confidential'' and ``The Postman.'' This is Helgeland's second shot at directing. Mel Gibson pulled Helgeland off his first effort, ``Payback,'' and it's clear the man is still learning on the job. Scenes end abruptly, characters promise to return and then never do, and battles are clumsily staged and shot.

Yet, that doesn't mean the movie is a total wash. It's certainly more entertaining than ``The Mummy Returns,'' possessing a spirit of romance and adventure that's easy to relish. There's some enjoyable scene-chewing acting from a game ensemble and enough of the goofy anachronisms work, keeping the film from seeming like a strained attempt to make the Middle Ages palatable to the MTV generation.

Of course, the movie's best character is an ersatz Geoffrey Chaucer (Paul Bettany), whose ``Canterbury Tales'' probably isn't on too many teen-agers' reading lists these days. (Geoff) Chaucer is reimagined here as the 14th century's answer to that boxing announcer who bellows ``Let's get ready to ruuuuumble'' before bouts. (This being Chaucer, he possesses a slightly better vocabulary.)

Chaucer is part of the ragtag team helping earnest jouster William (Heath Ledger, Mel Gibson's headstrong son in ``The Patriot'') realize his dreams of becoming a champion knight. William is the poor son of a thatcher, so, technically, he's not supposed to be competing in these jousts, but thanks to fate and some lineage papers forged by Chaucer (literacy can be cool!), William becomes the toast of the sporting world.

Along the way, he meets a fair maiden, Jocelyn (Lisa Bonet look-alike Shannyn Sossamon), whom he woos, and an arrogant French knight (Rufus Sewell), whom he competes against for both love and glory. Lest any modern-minded audience member's attention span waver, Helgeland peppers these encounters with musical cues like Bachman-Turner Overdrive's ``Takin' Care of Business,'' War's ``Low Rider'' and David Bowie's ``Golden Years,'' the latter playing during a poorly staged banquet dance that should have been much more entertaining, enchanting and imaginative.

But then, the whole movie should have possessed more of all those qualities. It's hard to tell whether Helgeland ran out of ideas or conviction or if the studio suits watered down his concept. As it is, ``A Knight's Tale'' at least lives up to its advertising slogan. It will rock you. It will also leave you dazed and confused over its abundant missed opportunities.

``A KNIGHT'S TALE''

(Rated PG-13: action violence, some nudity (a male's backside) and brief sex-related dialogue)

The stars: Heath Ledger, Rufus Sewell, Paul Bettany, Shannyn Sossamon.

Behind the scenes: Written and directed by Brian Helgeland. Released by Columbia Pictures.

Running time: Two hours, 10 minutes.

Playing: Citywide.

Our rating: Two and one half stars.

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Photo:

Shannyn Sossamon as Jocelyn surprises the battered knight William, played by Heath Ledger, in ``A Knight's Tale.''