A 'FAMILY AFFAIR' TIME WARP.

Byline: David Kronke TV Critic

There's one reason to believe that a remake of the sentimental '60s sitcom ``Family Affair'' might work in the 21st century: The friction between a wealthy New York bachelor and the children he inherited from his late brother can be expanded upon for comic fodder.

In the original series, it was difficult to convey the sort of social life a footloose and fancy-free guy like Bill Davis was sacrificing to bring up three youngsters, particularly with grumpy Brian Keith playing the role. In 2002, that can be made more palpable.

But there's also a compelling reason that it might not: The whole ``manservant'' thing. The foppish Mr. French, played with fastidious dry wit by Sebastian Cabot in the original, is essayed here by Tim Curry in a manner so campy it makes his work in ``The Rocky Horror Picture Show'' seem understated by comparison. ``Oh, dear God,'' French moans laboriously, at the simple task of walking through a park. Oh, dear God, indeed.

``I didn't know anyone had a butler anymore,'' one of Bill's paramours (apparently, he only dates supermodels who hate children) marvels in tonight's premiere.

``Family Affair'' is a schizophrenic affair, one that hasn't reconciled the innocence of the original with its more contemporary sensibilities. It's a single-camera series with a laugh track that titters away wanly at lines like ``You were in Indiana - a whole different time zone,'' and ``I don't want to save $25 - I just want to go home and be far away from chirpy salesgirls!'' (Curry speaks in italics a lot.)

Gary Cole epitomizes the show's queasy sense of straddling two eras: At times, he appears to be channeling Greg Kinnear's leeringly clean-cut take on Bob Crane in the upcoming film ``Auto Focus,'' but it's also apparent early on that he's a genial pushover when it comes to kids.

In two episodes available for preview, there was one laugh - and it came not from a cast regular but a bit player waxing moonily over a doll's production lineage. Tonight, in the hourlong (!) pilot - so many subtleties to be ironed out here - Bill gets saddled with the kids, then leaves them with French; mayhem, of a very benign sort, ensues. As French warbles along with an aria in the bathtub, Buffy and Jody blow up a can of soup in the microwave. The tykes thereupon hide - whether it's from shame for burning down Uncle Bill's kitchen or from sheer embarrassment over appearing in this mishmash is open to interpretation.

FAMILY AFFAIR - Two stars

What: Remake of the 1966-71 sitcom about a bachelor who inherits three youngsters and his befuddled manservant who must care for them.

Where: WB.

When: 8 tonight.

In a nutshell: How you feel about Tim Curry camping it up as Mr. French may determine how much you like/hate this remake.