83st family's too fat to work and too busy watching TV to diet; EXCLUSIVE Couch potato clan defend their pounds 22k benefits payout.

Byline: BY MELISSA THOMPSON

SQUASHED together on the sofa, scoffing crisps and swilling fizzy pop as they sit goggle-eyed in front of the telly... it looks like a scene from The Royle Family.

But this isn't TV, it's real life.

Meet the Chawner clan, who say they're too fat to work but too busy to go on a diet.

By the time I arrive midmorning, they've already eaten breakfast and are watching an endless stream of daytime programmes.

"We hardly watch the telly during the day," says 24st mum Audrey, 57, with a straight face.

"Well, apart from GMTV, This Morning and Jeremy Kyle.

They're our favourites."

She, dad Philip, 53, also 24st, and daughters Samantha, 21 and 18st, and Emma, 19 and 17st, are all on the dole.

However, you might recognise Emma from her ill-fated X Factor audition in a meringue bridesmaids-style gown.

They have been criticised in a women's magazine this week, and been accused of giving the hundreds of thousands of ordinary folk, desperate to work, a bad name.

But as you'd expect, they say it's not their fault. They also moan that they only get pounds 22,500 a year in benefits.

"The thing is, it's genetics," argues Audrey, wheezing because of her asthma. She also has epilepsy brought on after a fall when she was in her late teens and both conditions, she claims, stop her from working.

"It runs in the family. The girls were little when they were born. Sammy only weighed 5lb 11oz, tiny she was. Emma was only 7lb 4oz."

The girls might have been born small - they also have a chubby brother, Chris, who doesn't live at home - but now they help the family tip the scales at a combined 83 stone.

Before long it's lunchtime and Emma goes into the kitchen to prepare a snack."I only have a roll a day, I'm not even hungry now," she says buttering white rolls.

The rest of the family are still in the front room. The only movement comes from their energetic Yorkshire Terrier who constantly leaps all over them.

Philip was an HGV driver until he was diagnosed with Type-II diabetes 13 years ago. "I do miss the work," he says. "I could probably get work if I lost some weight but it's hard. We need help.

"We're not lazy, I even take the dog out for a walk every day. I sit on the bench when I get to the bottom of the road but at least I'm still getting out."

Ex-stablegirl Audrey hasn't worked since the 80s due to her asthma and epilepsy. "It's out of the question. I could do something from home but if I concentrate I could have a fit. That happened once and I broke the table leg as I fell."

On TV it says unemployment levels have hit two million. Audrey launches into a rant: "They should go to the JobCentre, look in the paper. People use too many excuses.

You can't be fussy these days, you need to take what's available."

Does she count herself and her family in that? I ask. "Er, well, yes and no," she stammers."

Thing is, I can't work. Neither can Philip. But the girls try, bless 'em."

Emma and Samantha - both trained hairdressers - say they apply for around 30 jobs every week but each time get refused. Samantha says: "The thing is, you go into a hairdresser's and all you see are skinny girls working there. You never see bigger girls." She adds: "I'd do anything I reckon.

Apart from a cleaning job. Urrrgh, cleaning after people. That'd be horrible."

The family's two-bedroom terrace house in Blackburn, Lancs, has been home since December after they got evicted from their last one for abusing their neighbours.

That wasn't their fault either, they say, but the result of a vendetta by locals.

It's stuffy inside and I suggest a stroll in the spring sunshine.

They look at each other with a startled expression.

"Well, we could but I get out of breath easily. Even in the supermarket I've got to take the trolley.

I need something to lean on," says Audrey defensively.

"We do eat fruit and vegetables. The girls are always eating pears and bananas and what are those little orange things called? Oh yeah, mandarins.

"It's not right to say we only eat junk."

A jumbo 18-pack of Quavers sits on the kitchen counter and there's a packet of custard creams in the cupboard. "Oh, they're for our niece when she comes to visit. She comes a lot," Emma insists.

The one person who admits he doesn't eat veg is Philip: "I can't eat lettuce because it repeats on me. And onions, and cucumbers. They all repeat on me."

As they look to the future, the family are hopeful things might improve. Emma still harbours ambitions to become a singer, despite her two failed attempts to win over the X Factor judges.

Watch out, Mr Cowell... DO you have an amazing real life story with a happy ending? Email features @mirror.co.uk or ring 0207 293 3643. Don't worry about the cost, we'll call you back.

YOUNGER DAUGHTER EMMA CHAWNER

AGE 19

WEIGHT 17stone

JOB Had an X Factor audition; is a trained hairdresser

THE FATHER PHILIP CHAWNER

AGE 53

WEIGHT 24stone

JOB Was HGV driver until he got diabetes in 1996

ELDER DAUGHTER SAMANTHA CHAWNER

AGE 21

WEIGHT 18stone

JOB Is a trained hairdresser, applies for 30 posts a week

THE MOTHER AUDREY CHAWNER

AGE 57

WEIGHT 24stone

JOB Was a stablegirl in 80s until developing asthma

The girls eat pears and bananas and what are those orange things? Oh yeah, mandarins

MUM AUDREY

Weighty issue of obesity

2,000 Number of people deemed too fat to work on pounds 84.50 benefits a week.

83ST The combined weight of Chawner family, dad Phil (24st), mum Audrey (24st) Sam (18st) and Emma (17st)

25% Percentage of people in Britain who are officially classed as obese

CAPTION(S):

Picture: PHIL SPENCER; SLIM Young girls & Chris; FLOP STAR Emma fails to impress at X Factor audition