50 FOR 50: SOME NOTES FOR GOLDEN ANNIVERSARY.

Byline: Kevin Modesti

Fifty things to know about the NBA's 50th season:

1. The Chicago Bulls won't be as good as last year; the Clippers will.

2. The Bulls, New York Knicks, Houston Rockets and Seattle SuperSonics will win their divisions.

3. Magic Johnson will announce a comeback. Dennis Rodman and Frank Brickowski will have a staring contest. Rodman will get thrown out of a game and toss his shirt into the crowd. The Orlando Magic will exceed expectations. Kevin Johnson will put together one healthy month.

4. All of those things will happen before Yinka Dare earns his first assist.

5. Actually, despite the ballyhoo, this is only the 47th season of the NBA, which is the product of the 1949 merger of the National Basketball League and the Basketball Association of America.

6. The Minneapolis Lakers won the '49-50 championship. John Stockton and Karl Malone were co-MVPs of the All-Star Game.

7. The Milwaukee Bucks, inspired by their Wisconsin neighbors, the Packers, plan to leap into the stands after a basket, should that come up.

8. NBA players will continue to wear baggy shorts, though Rodman plans to experiment with a seductive sarong.

9. Michael Jordan, namesake of a new cologne, said in a TV interview: ``The first two things people notice about you are how you dress and how you smell.''

10. You hope not, really.

11. Sports nostalgia-minded merchandisers, inspired by the success of ``Jordan,'' look forward to offering a fragrance called ``Lapchick.''

12. In a recent poll, President Clinton had 52 percent, Bob Dole 35 percent. Based on last year's winning percentages, they are the Miami Heat (.512) and the Clippers (.354) of national leaders.

13. That's also No. 6 on my list, ``Ten Reasons to Move to Greenland.''

14. The Heat's plan for rapid improvement this season has been set back by the discovery of a technicality in NBA rules: Players are required to bounce the ball when they run with it.

15. The Dallas Mavericks are owned by Ross Perot Jr.

16. Donald Sterling has asked the Mavericks to drop out of the league and throw their support to the Clippers.

17. Adding their victories together, the Mavericks and Clippers would have finished nine games behind the Sonics last season.

18. Pat Choate. Phil ``Flip'' Saunders. One is Ross Perot (Sr.)'s running mate. The other is coach of the Minnesota Timberwolves. Do you know which is which?

19. Brian Hill. Bob Hill. Sam Hill. One of them is not an NBA coach.

20. The NBA leads the leagues in anonymous head coaches.

21. I saw where an NBA exhibition game in Vancouver was interrupted because silicone was leaking between the floorboards, and I thought Rodman had been traded to the Grizzlies.

22. Biggest off-season move: Shaquille O'Neal to the Lakers.

23. Loudest off-season move: Charles Barkley from Phoenix to Houston.

24. Longest off-season move: Kenny Anderson from Charlotte to Portland, 2,800 miles.

25. There's no basketball equivalent for this sort of thing: I arrived home Saturday night just as the final World Series game went to the ninth inning. I sat in the car, listening to Vin Scully and Jeff Torborg, and saw more than I would have by going inside and turning on the TV.

26. There is no Vin Scully in basketball, perhaps because no verbal description can match the sport's visual appeal.

27. Tiger Woods finished 24th on the PGA money list. After next year, he should be able to afford Lakers tickets.

28. Those foreigners who had to take back six-figure contributions to the Democratic and Republican parties plan to spend the money on a night at the Forum.

29. Grant Hill became only the 15th NBA player to lead his team in points, rebounds and assists in the same season.

30. Dick Vitale cleverly calls Hill a ``PWLHTIPRAAITSS'' - a Player Who Leads His Team in Points, Rebounds and Assists in the Same Season.

31. Strangely, not even Shaq can afford a Lakers ticket.

32. Gamblers pay more attention to players' performances on back-to-back nights than their wives do.

33. Generation watch: The most common first name on preseason rosters was Chris. There were six Chrises in the league. There were five Johns. In the recent Arizona State-UCLA football game, there wasn't a single player named John.

34. With Bryant Reeves sidelined by a hamstring injury, Eric Mobley and Rich Manning will play center for Vancouver tonight. The 6-foot-11 Manning picked up a new move this summer by watching Canadian football, which permits offensive players to go in motion.

35. The Cleveland Cavaliers' first game is tonight at New Jersey. Their first basket is expected by the end of the month.

36. The Cavaliers are weighing a promoter's offer for a medal-play match against PGA Player of the Year Tom Lehman, who also averages less than 70.

37. New coach John Calipari has made one important change in the New Jersey Nets: They'll travel first-class this season. Coaching axiom: Moist towels equal five wins.

38. Washington Bullets coach Jim Lynam says the team hopes to ``avoid a Legler-type of disaster.''

39. After consulting several astronomy texts, I've concluded that he's talking about a serious injury.

40. Only 54 shopping days until NBC's first NBA telecast of the season - the Lakers' Christmas-night game at Phoenix.

41. In Las Vegas, the Chicago Bulls are 3-2 to win the NBA title; the Lakers and Sonics are next at 5-1; the Clippers are 200-1; and Vancouver and the Toronto Raptors are 500-1 long shots.

42. Curiously, bettors make Ricks Natural Star 50-1.

43. Meanwhile, the Knicks, who have signaled a return to their old ``defensive intensity,'' are 6-5 to win the WBC title.

44. Bob Dole plans to ``phase in'' a 15-percent tax cut. In the first year, each American household would receive one Lakers ticket.

45. I hate to think how L.A. fans will react if the Lakers don't win the NBA title. People here are so upset by the Galaxy's defea3t in the MLS Cup, nobody's even talking about it.

46. This is the 20th season since the ABA disbanded. Where have you gone, Larry Brown? Oh, never mind.

47. Maybe it's because basketball has grown up in the cable-TV age, but no sport seems less appreciative of its own heritage. Putting O'Neal (and 10 other active players) on the NBA's all-time top-50 list is the latest way to hype the stars of the moment, but it trivializes the whole idea.

48. O'Neal still has a lot to prove. The Sonics aren't going to make it easy for him.

49. At some point, the season will come down to this: Lakers down by a point, :01 on the clock, Shaq at the line.

50. The Bulls will be champions again.