24Seven - TV review: It's just trash, Trish.

Byline: PETER GRANT

Trisha Exposes Love Rats (ITV1)

ON the day we hear that `Our Graham' has been dumped from Blind Date, ITV1 keeps faith with Trisha.

Love in all its four-lettered forms never makes sense - but the relationship games on television are getting sillier as dumbing down becomes an art form.

While Cilla's show loses ratings and her puerile pairings prove that you cannot manufacture love, Trisha's show is the other end of the sickly scale.

People who fell in love once now fight like cat and dog in front of the cameras.

Dignity was made redundant a long. long time ago.

America is to blame for this type of circus.

Jerry Springer is a prime mover coaxing wit-less men and women to pull each other apart while the audience, with the combined IQs of a pig pen, boo and hiss the heroes and villains.

Trisha in her early evening slot is the Bitch-finder general and the Rat Catcher supreme inviting couples to explain why their so called `loved ones' are cheating on them.

Experts such as a lie detector guru and a body language translator are called in to point the finger at who is telling porkies.

Did she sleep with his best friend or did her shavenheaded scally boyfriend have sex with her best pal. Who cares?

Trisha even invites camcorder reports from concerned parents who go on about how they never trusted him or her in the first place.

And the sheep like audience hold up placards proclaiming `Love Rat' or if they actually liked the serial philanderers `Love God.' An information bar also appears giving results of the lie detection exam and the now delirious crowd, like some manic guillotine gang, shout out `dump him' or `dump her' with all the menacing passion of a lynch mob.

Television really has hit an all-time low with this collection of pond life masquerading as human beings in a TV studio.

ITV1 should change the title now from Trisha Exposes to Trash Exposed.

Bad Girls (ITV1) HOORAY! We've all been given parole from this fourth series but the sad news is it looks like there's another heavy sentence in order.

The inmates of this modern day Prisoner: Cell Block H have been through it all from lesbianism to bomb explosions.

As the smoke cleared last night it was an ideal time to have a clear out of characters who were far-fetched even by this ridiculous drama's standards.

Scores were settled and warders and prisoners bonded beautifully together.

It would have been funny - only Ronnie Barker's Porridge has been there before.