24 hours of preventive maintenance.

THE LACK OF PM AT FORT CALAMITY HAS BECOME CRITICAL! THE WHOLE SITUATION COULD EXPLODE AT ANY TIME ... AND, KATIE ...

... BAR THE DOOR IF IT DOES.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS KATIE, BUT ...

... I CAN HOLD DOWN THE FORT. DO YOU WANT ME TO GO THERE AND SPREAD THE PM WORD?

IT'S TOO LATE FOR YOUR SUBTLE APPROACH, CONNIE. WE NEED TO SEND IN THE BIG GUN ... THE BIG KAHUNA ... THE BIG ENCHILADA

YOU DON'T MEAN ...?

YES, I DO MEAN ...

BUT ... DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME?

HOW CAN I FORGET? I STILL HAVE THE GENERAL'S TEETH MARKS ON MY BACKSIDE!

BUT DESPERATE TIMES CALL FOR DESPERATE MEASURES, AND DESPERATE MEASURES CALL FOR

ZACH BOWER!

DID SOMEONE CALL ME?

BOWER! HOW DID YOU GET HERE SO FAST?

I WAS LISTENING OUTSIDE THE DOOR. I KNEW IT WAS JUST A MATTER OF TIME UNTIL YOU NEEDED MY SERVICES AGAIN.

AFTER ALL, I AM (WAIT FOR IT) ZACH BOWER, SUPER AGENT OF PM!

CHECK YOUR EGO AT THE DOOR, BOWER. FORT CALAMITY IS IN DESPERATE TROUBLE.

MAY I SUGGEST A NAME CHANGE?

ALWAYS THE JOKER, HUH, ZACH?

CONNIE? I THOUGHT YOU DIED IN THE LAST EPISODE.

CAN IT, YOU TWO! SAVE YOUR BICKERING FOR SWEEPS' WEEK. RIGHT NOW, FORT CALAMITY HAS STOPPED DOING PM.

AT ONE TIME, IT WAS A PRIORITY ... BUT IT'S SLIPPED TO THE BOTTOM OF THEIR "TO DO" LIST.

THAT'S WHERE YOU COME IN. GO TO CALAMITY. FIND OUT WHY AND CORRECT THE PROBLEM.

OK. BUT I DO IT MY WAY.

YOUR WAY OR THE HIGHWAY, RIGHT ZACH?

I'M A ONE WAY STREET, BONNIE, AND ALL THE EXITS LEAD TO GOOD PM.

JUST GO, BOWER! AND TRY TO STAY OUT OF TROUBLE.

I CAN'T HELP FEELING WE JUST UNLEASHED A CATASTROPHE ON CALAMITY.

I'M WILLING TO TAKE THE RISK FOR PM.

LATER, AT FORT CALAMITY...

I'LL SKULK AROUND AND OBSERVE A BIT...

WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH PAINTING THE ROCKS?

ALL RIGHT, PRIVATE ... COME CLEAN!

AND IF I DON'T TELL YA?

I GET A BRIGHTER GLOW STICK AND A SMALLER CHAIR.

SO, IT'S LIKE THAT, HUH? ALL RIGHT, I'LL TALK. IT WASN'T MY IDEA TO PAINT ROCKS.

I WANTED TO DO PREVENTIVE MAINTENANCE ON MY HMMWV. BUT I WAS TOLD THE ROCKS CAME FIRST. HERE AT CALAMITY, IT'S ALL ABOUT APPEARANCE.

YES ... APPEARANCE IS IMPORTANT. BUT NOT AS IMPORTANT AS PM.

HIT THE BRICKS PRIVATE!

ZACH CONTINUES HIS SKULKING ...

EAT THIS--NOW!

OK! OK!

WHAT IS THIS MRE? IT TASTES LIKE DOG DOO.

IT'S COUNTRY CAPTAIN'S CHICKEN. IT WAS VOTED THE MOST HIDEOUS TASTING MRE EVER MADE ... AND I'VE GOT A CASE OF IT WITH YOUR NAME ON IT.

NO MORE! PLEASE! I'LL TALK.

I'M ALWAYS PULLED AWAY FROM DOING PREVENTIVE MAINTENANCE FOR ONE DETAIL OR ANOTHER. TODAY IT'S MOWING GRASS. TOMORROW IT MAY BE WAXING THE BARRACKS' HALLWAY.

I'M A HIGHLY SKILLED, HIGHLY QUALIFIED MECHANIC AND THEY'VE GOT ME DOING YARD WORK INSTEAD OF MAINTENANCE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT ... BUT I KNOW YOU'RE NOT LYING.

SHOVE OFF, SERGEANT, OR I'LL BREAK OPEN A CASE OF JAMBALAYA.

THE COUNTRY CAPTAIN'S CHICKEN NEVER FAILS TO MAKE 'EM COUGH UP THE TRUTH.

ZACH CONTINUES HIS SKULKING...

YOU'VE DONE IT, SIR. YOU HAVE THE BEST LOOKING POST IN THE ENTIRE ARMY.

YOU KNOW MY MOTTO ...

... IF IT LOOKS GOOD, IT IS GOOD.

MAY I MAKE THAT MY MOTTO TOO, SIR?

YOU'RE A REAL SUCK-UP, AREN'T YOU?

ABSOLUTELY, SIR.

GOOD! I LIKE THAT ABOUT YOU.

ZACH BOWER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I'M ON A MISSION FROM THE BIG MAN HIMSELF.

THE PRESIDENT?

HIS WIFE?

IS THIS ABOUT PM?

BIGGER.

NO! HALF MAST!

YOU BET IT IS. YOU'VE BEEN MORE CONCERNED ABOUT HOW THINGS LOOK THAN HOW THEY WORK. YOU'VE BOUGHT THE SIZZLE, BUT NOT THE STEAK. YOU'RE SINGING THE SONG, BUT YOU'RE OFF KEY. YOU--

GOT IT!

WE'LL PUT PM BACK AT THE TOP OF OUR TO-DO LIST IF YOU PROMISE NOT TO SAY ANOTHER WORD AND LEAVE RIGHT NOW.

I'M OFF.

YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN.

I'M OFF!

BACK AT HEADQUARTERS...

CONNIE, IT LOOKS LIKE FORT CALAMITY IS BACK ON THE PM TRACK.

I DON'T LIKE BOWERS' METHODS, BUT I SURE LIKE HIS RESULTS.

INCIDENTALLY, WHERE IS BOWER?

HE'S IN HIDING. APPARENTLY, HE MADE THE WRONG PEOPLE MAD THIS TIME.

YOU DON'T MEAN

YEP! THE COUNTRY CAPTAIN WANTS TO PUT HIM IN HOT WATER!