192: BIG FAT WINNER; There's no Greek tragedy here - just a must-see feelgood comedy.

Byline: Alan Morrison 

BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING (PG)

EVERY now and then, a little independent movie slips through the film industry net and becomes a massive hit.

The slang term for this is a "sleeper" - but the only ones sleeping are the so- called industry experts who didn't see it coming.

A couple of years ago, it was The Blair Witch Project. This year, it's My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

One was a mock-documentary horror movie shot on video. The other is a straightforward romantic comedy. Different styles, different stories, but they do have something in common.

Both surpassed dollars 100million at the American box office not because they had big studio budgets and backing, but because audiences loved them.

And, ultimately, the one thing money can't buy is good word-of-mouth.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding has become a phenomenon in the States this summer. Every week, its popularity grows and grows.

Months after it opened, it continues to outlast huge blockbusters and hang on to a Top 10 slot. But without America's large Greek immigrant population to prop up its takings, can the film do similar business in the UK?

Well, there's no reason why not. Because the "Greek" part of the equation is actually a red herring. Sure, the film trades on a lot of in-jokes about the Greek community and family traditions.

But, on a simple level, its story of romance across cultural boundaries is full of elements that everyone will recognise.

The first time you've got to meet the in-laws - or even just your new girlfriend or boyfriend's parents - can be a terrifying experience. You know you're under the microscope.

Likewise, if your chosen partner isn't exactly what mum and dad were dreaming of, then you've got to hope that true love will conquer these obstacles.

This is the basis of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. The film is specific about its cultural backdrop from the words in the title to the music on the soundtrack. But hard-headed parents come from all races and religions, so it shouldn't be difficult to sympathise with these characters, whatever your perspective.

Toula Portokalos (Nia Vardalos) has it harder than the rest of us, however. Her father, Gus (Michael Constantine), truly believes that all civilisation began with the Greeks. Name any English word, and he'll tell you its Greek root.

HIS garage door is painted in the colours of the Greek flag. The columns and statues on his porch make his house look like a mini version of the Parthenon.

Toula loves her extended family and her culture, but she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life serving moussaka in the family restaurant.

From the day she was born, it has been expected that she'd marry a nice Greek boy and make nice Greek babies.

But when she meets tall, handsome, very non-Greek stranger, Ian (John Corbett), family tradition is going to have to take a back seat.

Dad has selfish tantrums, Mum tries to understand, and her brother threatened to kill the new boyfriend. He's only joking. Isn't he?

In a typical Hollywood movie, this would be fairytale stuff. Toula would be played by Cameron Diaz or Julia Roberts. But Nia Vardalos (who wrote the script from her one- woman stage play) doesn't look like a movie star.

This isn't the kind of film where the ugly duckling removes her glasses and, hey, we realise she's a beautiful princess.

Vardalos is hefty in build and her top lip is no stranger to waxing strips. She even describes her character in flashback as "a swarthy six-year-old with sideburns".

In other words, she's an ordinary human being with a heart of gold. That's why Ian falls for her. And that's why audiences will love her to bits as well.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding is a victory for real people over movie stars. In fact, the most "famous" faces it boasts are Corbett (ex-Sex And The City) and Joey Fatone (of NSYNC fame), who has a tiny role as Toula's cousin.

Instead, the film is funny, friendly and joyfully romantic. It's proof that a Plain Jane can win the heart of a gorgeous guy without resorting to make-believe.

As Toula and Ian work tentatively through candle-lit dinners and first kisses, the film sets itself up as the perfect date movie.

Its ideal audience, however, will be groups of women who'll warm to the sight of a female character finally taking control of her own destiny.

This isn't as slick or polished as Bridget Jones's Diary, but its constant feelgood factor will keep a smile on your face for weeks to come. It's a delight.

Dire drama drowns in the deep end

SWIMFAN (12A)

REFORMED bad boy Ben Cronin has a lot on his mind at the moment.

The best swimmer at his high school, he's in with a chance of a college scholarship if he can impress the scouts coming to check him out.

Then maybe Ben (Jesse Bradford) will be able to get an apartment in California with his girlfriend, Amy (Shiri Appleby), who'd also be studying there.

Guess, in that case, it's the wrong time to get intimate in the pool with new girl Madison Bell (Erika Christensen).

Suddenly, Ben's guilty conscience is stopping him from concentrating on swimming practice.

Things get worse when Madison's crush escalates. She stalks him on email and starts making his life very awkward indeed.

When Ben rejects Madison outright, the spurned lover turns psycho and the film becomes little more than an over-the-top teen clone of Fatal Attraction.

Ben might be out of his depth, but the film itself sticks to the shallows.

There's not an ounce of subtlety on show. Madison isn't portrayed as a real person - she's a movie monster.

Where your sympathies lie depends very much on personal morality.

Sure, Ben does a bad thing and shouldn't go unpunished. At the very least, sex in the school swimming pool is surely unhygenic.

But by exaggerating Madison's behaviour, the film doesn't leave us any room to think for ourselves.

Here's an early case of the new 12A certificate not being appropriate. There's nothing in this tale of sex, death and revenge for pre-teens.

In the end, it tips over from being entertainingly silly to irritatingly stupid.

Come back Michael Douglas, all is forgiven.

Loveable hero scales some Dizzy heights

THE NEW GUY

(12A)

DIZZY HARRISON is the biggest loser in school.

Bullied by the boys and laughed at by the girls, this skinny geek only finds comfort playing in a band with his even geekier friends.

If life is going to turn around for Dizzy(D.J Qualls), then he needs a completely fresh start somewhere no-one knows about his past embarrassments.

After deliberately getting expelled, he reinvents himself as the coolest kid on the block at a new school miles from home.

And everyone falls for it, even sexy cheerleader Danielle (Eliza Dushku).

But when Dizzy's old schoolmates turn up at his new school for a football match, his big deception looks like it's all going to fall spectacularly apart.

On the surface, The New Guy looks like any other teen comedy with the typical gross-out routines.

But, like its message says, appearances can be deceiving. This is actually an incredibly sweet movie containing characters we really care about.

Dizzy's such a good-hearted kid that he begins to have a positive effect on everyone around him.

So much so that the audience is soon laughing with him, not at him - despite his loser status.

The filmmakers also throw in some cameos (Vanilla Ice, skateboarder Tony Hawk) and movie in-jokes (check out the Braveheart skit).

No one is claiming this is Oscar-worthy material. But it's a decent addition to the American Pie brigade.

Putting the spin on our DJ culture

SCRATCH (15)

THERE'S a lot more to DJing than knowing which Abba single to spin at a wedding reception.

In fact, certain DJs have transformed the "simple" act of playing records into something of an artform.

This documentary chronicles the whole history of the hip hop DJ, from the first time a vinyl disc was rubbed back and forth to make that distinctive "scratching" sound, to the fast-fingered antics of today.

Fans of what has become known as "turntablism" will go wild as the film trots out interviews and performance footage of the biggest names in the field.

Contributions from the likes of Mix Master Mike (Beastie Boys), Qbert, Afrika Bambaataa and Grand Mixer DXT reveal the pure skill involved.

It's fascinating to watch them create new music from old records. But viewers not in the know might feel like they've been left standing at the edge of the party.

For fans, Scratch is gold-disc status. For others, it's about as appealing as grandad's broken 78rpm collection.

Don't expect a great Dane 

MINOR MISHAPS (15)

`NO weddings and a funeral' just about sums up the glum atmosphere of this Danish drama.

When their mother dies, a grown-up family from Copenhagen suffers all sorts of personal crises.

John, the dead woman's husband, has to confront his own heart condition. His brother, Soren, discovers that his wife is having an affair.

John's youngest daughter, Marianne, searches for a boyfriend while caring for her father. Her sister Eva, the family rebel, thinks there's more to this "caring" relationship than meets the eye.

Finally, John's workaholic son Tom has a showdown with his wife because he's never at home.

It's difficult to get through the film's miserable opening period, as these washed-out people go about their troubled lives. Slowly, however, humour creeps into the story. Just as slowly, the characters undergo a healing process - but only after some tense confrontations.

It's not a barrel of laughs, but it does ring true.

Danish director Annette K. Olesen is obviously a fan of the work of Mike Leigh (Naked, High Hopes, Life Is Sweet). And, as with Leigh's films, you've got to wonder if the glimmer of hope at the end is worth the depressing sludge you've got to plough through to get there.