10 ways that YOU can deal with it; Knowing how talk to your kids about drugs is tough. Dealing with what you discover can be even tougher. We talk to two experts for their advice on the best way to deal with it...

(1) How do I spot if my child's taking drugs?

Dr Pat Spungin: "I'm willing to bet that most parents wouldn't automatically recognise if their child was using drugs - not least because the signs can easily be confused with normal teenage behaviour.

"The first thing a parent should do is consult a website like talktofrank.com where they can find out what drugs are out there and how people taking them behave.

"The things to watch out for include: changes of mood, sleeping more, things going missing, locking themselves in the bedroom for long periods, being secretive, a change of friends or lack of interest in their appearance."

(2) What should I do if I notice something suspicious?

Callum Jacobs: "Start communi-cating. Being able to talk to your children is key to preventing and limiting the potential problems caused by drugs.

"Many people feel unable to tackle the subject, but it's too important an issue to be swept under the carpet - every parent needs the courage to have a conversation about drug use."

(3) So, how do I bring up the subject?

Dr Pat Spungin: "When it comes to broaching the subject of drugs, you have to try to be calm and unemotional, as your kids probably won't want to talk about it and are likely to get uppity and perhaps storm off.

"So try to avoid lecturing. Say what you've observed. For example: 'You've been very moody lately, is anything wrong?' Or, 'I'm worried about the people that you're hanging around with because I've heard that some of them take drugs.'

"Don't make outright accusations, instead give them the opportunity to tell you the truth."

(4) How do I sound credible?

Dr Pat Spungin: "Most parents are pretty badly informed about drugs, so your teenagers probably won't see you as a credible source of information.

"For example, when it comes to ecstasy, parents will often point out the terrible instances of kids who have died, but your children will almost certainly know plenty of people who've taken it and been fine.

"So do some research and arm yourself with real facts and statistics instead of repeating scare stories."

(5) Should I be honest about trying drugs myself?

Dr Pat Spungin: "Definitely not, as this can normalise drug use in their eyes. One former heroin addict I worked with was adamant she'd never tell her children about her drug past, because that's exactly what her parents - who'd been occasional drug users - did with her.

"The message she took from their revelation was: 'Okay, so you're admitting you've taken drugs before, but you're still trying to say how terrible they are. But you're a happy, normal couple with kids, so how dangerous can they really be?'

"Even smoking the odd joint in front of your kids at weekends is a bad idea, as it sends out a strong message that drugs are safe."

(6) What if they admit to taking drugs? Callum Jacobs: "Don't start shouting and threatening. It's vital you listen calmly to whatever they have to say, and don't react to any bad language or shocking stories.

"It's also important to see their point of view. Always remember, if they feel comfortable after this initial conversation, they'll be more likely come and talk to you again.

"Research shows that when young people develop a problem with drugs, the involvement and support of their parents makes a huge difference to their ability to overcome the addiction."

(7) What if they won't admit to it?

Callum Jacobs: "If you're sure there's a problem and your child refuses to talk to you, try not to panic. Remember that there are different reasons why people take drugs.

"It may be as simple as, 'to have fun'. It could make your child feel relaxed, sociable and full of energy, and it may be just a phase.

"It's important to explain that drugs are illegal and can affect their physical and mental health, and to let them know that while you may not approve, they can always talk to you."

(8) How do I stay supportive when I feel so angry?

Callum Jacobs: "Tough though it can be, the best thing for your child is to know that they have the support of their parents - whatever happens. But you don't have to compromise your beliefs to do this.

"If your child has admitted to taking drugs you can point out, 'I'm not condoning what you do - and I'm not happy about it - but if you're in trouble, you can always talk to us'.

"This means they'll be more likely to turn to you if they're worried, or develop a more serious drug problem."

(9) Is it my fault for being a bad parent?

Callum Jacobs: "You have to realise you're not to blame - ultimately your child is responsible for their choice to take drugs. And many will experiment at some point.

"Although drug use can be worrying, in the majority of cases your child will not develop a serious drug problem and will stop taking them of their own accord."

(10) How can I minimise the damage to the family?

Callum Jacobs: "If the drug use has become a serious problem, don't delay in seeking help.

"Often parents concentrate solely on their child and help for them, yet finding support for yourself might be the best way to help your child.

"Remember it's important to be there for your other children too.

"There are many support groups, run by people who have had similar experiences to you and who will understand what your whole family is going through."

Our experts

Dr Pat Spungin is a child psychologist and founder of parenting website raisingkids.co.uk

Callum Jacobs is a counsellor for the national drugs information service FRANK.

Need help?

If you are worried about a friend or family member, or are concerned about your own drug use, here are a list of the top places in the UK to go for help and advice

Call FRANK on 0800 77 66 00 or visit www.talktofrank.com for information and advice

Visit www.addaction.org.uk for advice and support and to find your local drug and alcohol treatment centre

To find up-to-the-minute information about drugs and a directory of help sources across the country visit www.drugscope.org.uk