10 tips for juggling family and work responsibilities.

Coping with the dual demands of family and workplace requires a well-thought-out strategy and must be tackled with no less fervor than your most difficult case. The following rules apply equally to professional men and women who share breadwinning and household responsibilities. These rules should improve your chances of successfully wearing both hats.

1. Never look on your family as a burden to your career aspirations or on your career as a detriment to your fitness as a mate or parent.

It is high time we parted with the self-righteous attitudes of some stay-at-home parents and single colleagues who are convinced that success in practicing law and dealing with home responsibilities are exclusive and diametrically opposed goals--that the election of one rules out the other.

Rather than succumbing to despair in self-doubt or suffering burnout while trying to overachieve, your energy is better spent focusing on specific problems you confront on a daily basis. Do not compare your performance to that of people who do not face the dual pressures you face. This is self-defeating.

Instead, recognize that your lifestyle has its own rewards. Give yourself a pat on the back on those days when workplace and home coexist in harmony--the day you've won a major case and your fifth grader excelled at the school science fair. Your positive attitude will go far to dispel any concerns others have with respect to your abilities as long as you accept the basic premise that you are lacking neither in your professional nor your parenting role.

Further, leave the guilt at home. Most stay-at-home parents are not always baking cookies or doing arts and crafts with their children while you're at work. They are often busy with mundane routines, errands, and other delegable chores.

2. Schedule, schedule, schedule.

Keep comprehensive personal and professional calendars. All entries in your professional diary should be duplicated in your secretary's separate daily journal. Your court dates for which an appearance or filing is required also should be on the office calendar book. List deadlines one week, two weeks, and one month in advance, if possible. Although in the back of your mind you may have an idea of the timetable for depositions, trials, or appeals, the written warning will enable you to begin timely preparation.

For personal use, the easily totable week-at-a-glance date books are excellent. Enter important court dates in this diary. This will help you avoid making personal commitments on particularly stressful days.

Keep a daily "to do" list. Stick to it as best you can. Finish at least one undesirable assignment each day. Remember, they won't go away.

3. Build a reliable support system.

By now, you and your spouse have probably reached some division of responsibilities with regard to the distribution of household duties, such as preparing meals and supermarket shopping. Assess periodically whether your system is effective. Are you happy with it or do you feel overwhelmed?

Suggest concrete proposals for alleviating what you feel is an unfair share of the domestic burden. Do not allow resentments about family chores to fester. You're in this together.

Stay on excellent terms with neighbors who can help out in a pinch. Return the favor. If you are a working parent, car pooling is essential. Offer to drive your children's friends to weekend and evening activities if their stay-at-home parents can provide weekday lifts for your youngsters.

If your own parents are retired and live in the vicinity, you may be able to impose on them for long-term emergencies such as when a caregiver is ill for several days.

Surround yourself with exceptional personnel in your office. A capable secretary will shield you from unnecessary interruptions, work independently, and prioritize your daily schedule.

4. Get top-notch household help.

You will not be able to concentrate on your law practice if you are worrying about your home. When you leave for the office in the morning, you must feel secure that your children's needs are well taken care of, that they will be delivered to school and returned safely, and that they will be nourished physically and emotionally in your absence.

Buy yourself the conveniences that your hard-earned salary allows. If at all possible, have someone else take care of your washing, ironing, and cleaning. These are readily delegable duties, which, when they are done by others, will open up a considerable block of your limited free time.

You will learn quickly whether a household employee does or does not meet your needs. Pay your workers--especially child-care workers--generously. Remember, you are entrusting your children to them.

5. Don't take on more than you can handle.

Novel cases of first impression often require enormous amounts of energy and time. Have realistic ambitions. Ask yourself whether you can add to your already full plate. Can you afford to hire additional legal staff to contend with the paperwork that this action would generate? How much time will you have to allot immediately to this case? Review your calendar carefully to avoid insurmountable conflicts.

On a personal level, keep extracurricular obligations to a minimum. Realistically, you are probably not going to be able to assume the duties of president of the PTA, although you should attend an occasional meeting to show your support for those who do the good work.

6. Never renege on nuclear family commitments.

Never miss your children's birthday parties or any major life event. There is no second chance, just a tremendous loss. Work your schedule around these occasions. If an important date is known sufficiently in advance, a timely request with a statement of unavailability to your adversary or the court generally will be respected. A short adjournment will not prejudice your client.

Religious holidays, if they are significant in your life, should be days that you don't work. Children appreciate the observance of religious holidays and other family rituals and will be disappointed if you are unable to participate due to your workload.

Take the time to celebrate anniversaries privately with your spouse. Visit aging and ailing parents on a regular basis. Although they may understand how busy your practice keeps you, your immediate family should be a priority.

7. Do not allow the telephone to control you.

Set aside some time each day when you will not accept telephone calls, so you can do uninterrupted preparatory work, research, and writing. Isolate yourself behind closed doors or in the library.

Phone calls are the single greatest distraction of your day and will cause you to lose the concentration necessary to manage a legal practice. Don't be tempted to take "just one more short call." All too often that conversation will lead you off on a tangent and end work on an important project for the rest of the day.

On the other hand, make certain that you respond to every message. The foremost complaint made of attorneys is that they do not return phone calls.

On the home front, telephone interruptions can be particularly annoying when you walk in the door, especially if you have young children whose bedtime is approaching. This is probably the most important hour you can spend with your children. It is a time to recap their day's activities, read with them, and send them off to bed with the security of knowing that they ultimately take precedence in their parents' hectic lives.

If another adult member of the household is unavailable to speak with the caller, have your answering machine record the communication.

8. When deadlines are imminent, work where there are few distractions.

When firm deadlines loom, isolation is the only solution. Reverse your routine by working in your empty home while everyone is out or come into your closed of fice on a weekend. You will accomplish a great deal.

As a preventive measure, take the pressure off by occasionally working one day on the weekend or a regular late night each week in your office.

9. If you have a flextime arrangement, make certain to spell out the parameters of your commitment at the very outset.

A major complaint of those who alter traditional work hours to accommodate their personal needs is that fewer days in the office do not necessarily translate into reduced hours. Flextime workers of ten take more work home and stay later on their assigned days while receiving fewer benefits.

Our profession is particularly susceptible to last-minute urgencies. Service of expedited motions on a small firm at the 11th hour may make it impossible for you to leave the office at a set time. Some employers, therefore, will be reluctant to allow alternative work schedules.

They will be more receptive to such a plan, however, if you remain flexible as to the nature of your caseload and assignments and show your professionalism on the days you are in the office. Part-time employees' appearance, demeanor, and commitment to the office team are subject to scrutiny. So, be punctual and precise in your work. Get involved in your associates' significant cases and offer assistance when you can.

At the time that you formalize your revised schedule, expectations on both sides should be articulated and put in writing if possible. This is the time to address both parties' fears. Lay out your long-term goals and inquire as to the effect this change will have on them.

Problems that arise should be addressed immediately. Provide for the possibility of periodic review and revisions as your private obligations change.

A final caveat to the part-time lawyer is that your responsibility for staying up to date on the law remains the same. Allot some time each week to read advance sheets, legal journals, and other authorities in your area of expertise since the law changes quickly and dramatically. There are no shortcuts here. Continue to enhance your skills and knowledge. Your reputation is your commodity.

10. Enjoy regularly at least one activity unrelated to job or home duties.

The pressures of family and job leave little free time. Juggling schedules and deadlines is often daunting.

As a reward, escape occasionally to a hobby, novel, or movie. Many find cooking a relaxing avocation. Athletics are also an excellent outlet. Involve yourself in your church, synagogue, community, or a charitable activity.

If you are an early riser, jog at dawn or enjoy your breakfast while reading the morning newspaper. For night owls, the half-hour before bedtime in a quiet house is a luxury. Maybe you would like to snack in front of the television while viewing some mindless fare.

Finally, accept the fact that some days will be more difficult than others and that perfection truly is an illusive goal.

Take pride in your work accomplishments and never think of yourself as a second-rate parent. Your life is interesting, you like your work, you love your family--stay with it.