10 HOURS ON A BUS TO PLAY 14 MINUTES.

Byline: CRAIG SWAN 

AUCHINLECK 7

FORT WILLIAM 0

LUCKLESS Graham Bamber spent 10 arduous hours on a bus to get just 14 minutes of action - and wasn't even allowed a glimpse of Girls Aloud to compensate.

The FortWilliam defender most likely didn't get the Lottery up either on Saturday after his long-awaited dream day turned decidedly bitter in deepest Ayrshire.

Auchinleck Talbot's Beechwood Park heralded the start and end of Bamber's involvement in the Active Nation Scottish Cup and to suggest it was an epic for the Highlanders would be a savage understatement.

Seven goals, three red cards, an awful refereeing display, a scoring grandad and pitch invasion by a dog illuminated events at Beechwood. Yep, cup fever had indeed arrived.

But for Bamber and the rest of the Fort contingent it was a fever that probably led to an ugly and infected rash such was their awful luck.

The day started at 8am with bacon rolls at Claggan Park before bus driver Howard Berriman pulled out of the car park for the hike south.

After pit-stops at Tyndrum and Dumbarton, Berriman dropped the troops for their mission at 1.30pm.

This was Scottish Cup football at its rawest best. Hampden Park may be just over 35 miles up the road but this first step seemed light years from the National Stadium.

Dropped in the middle of a housing estate, Beechwood Park was a brilliant spit-and-sawdust venue and the Talbot scarf tied round a satellite dish just outside the park gave an indication of the intimidating surroundings.

But if Fort's kids were nervous at never won a game in two years it didn't show in a blistering start. Andy Ferguson hit the bar inside eight seconds and Danny MacKintosh and Michael Gillespie came within inches of notching a shock opener.

Auchinleck - the Scottish Junior Cup holders, five wins from five in the league and 1-100 favourites for the tie - were seriously rocking.

Enter ref Iain Craig.

Bamber's 14th-minute challenge on StevieWhite at the edge of the area was a foul but the whistler's decision to whip out a red card was severe. Even the guy hanging out of his back bedroom window overlooking the park shook his head at the decision.

Bamber said:"Everyone I spoke to said it was a poor call and it's a long way to come down the road for 14 minutes.

"I'd been looking forward to this game for ages so disappointed does not sum it up.We started as well as we've started any game for years."

The dismissal took the wind from Fort's sails and Auchinleck seized their opening. David Gillies and John Boyle struck within minutes before Craig spotted handball in the box by visiting stopper Martin Kerr.

The young kid bouncing up and down on a trampoline in his back garden got a perfect view as Sean McIlroy sank the penalty.

That was that for the first period bar a magical cameo from a black cocker spaniel who got the game stopped by wandering into Talbot keeper Adam Strain's six-yard box as he prepared to take a goal kick.

The Auchinleck No.1's handling of the situation as he coolly ushered the canine attacker away from the danger area should have been noted by Craig. By this point,the game was won for Talbot but the celebrations didn't stop there.

As the man carrying the plastic board with the winning raffle-ticket numbers wandered into view of the Main Stand just after the restart, a joyous yelp was heard to greet the marker-pen results.

Boyle, McIlroy and sub Danny McKelvie heightened delight with further goals before Stevie Mallan outshone the spaniel with an even shorter and more spectacular appearance.

The 42-year-old grandfather managed to arrive as a sub, net the seventh goal for his team and collect a red card for a brush with Fort defender Andy Martin in the space of five minutes.

It looked another rash decision from Craig and Fort manager Calum McLeod couldn't hide his feelings at full-time.

Having loaded kit, balls and drink bottles under the bus - imagine Tony Mowbray orWalter Smith doing that - the Fort boss said: "The ref wanted to be the most important man on the park and spoiled the game.

"It was never a sending-off. He said all the boy had to do was stick it in the net. Bollocks. The players are devastated because the referee ruined it for us."

Craig, naturally, had the final say before the finish, reducing Fort to nine men after dismissing Martin as Auchinleck advanced . And the Ayrshire team deserved credit.

Yes, Craig played a big role but Tommy Sloan's boys were ruthless and professional in their dismantling of the Highlanders. Sights are set high and Gillies has eyes on the big boys. He said: "I'd like to get a senior team in the competition and beat them.

"I'm a Rangers fan so I'd also fancy playing at Ibrox. That would be the ultimate."

As Talbot dreamed of future heroics Fort's players sank a quick drink in the adjacent social club before making their way back to the hotel in Dumbarton for a post-match dinner.

They had to be fed, watered and out by 8pm as staff needed to clear the tables to create space for the Girls Aloud Tribute act which was on the evening bill.

Bamber and the boys weren't even granted a quick peek to ease their pain. It was that sort of day.

SCOTTISH CUP ROUND-UP

DAVID ALLAN believes Wick can take the cup by storm - if they recapture last season's fine form. The striker hit a double as his side drew 2-2 at Clach to force a replay in Caithness.

Clach were in front twice through Steve MacDonald and Colin Williamson only for Allan to peg them back both times.

Allan said: "We were poor and got out of jail but will fancy our chances in the replay. "Hopefully if we can get back to playing the way that gave us 11 wins in 12 games between January and May we can enjoy a good run in this competition."

Tiny Golspie Sutherland had ideas of glory when Krzyszyos Mikula fired them 2-0 ahead at Nairn only for a Tony Low brace to spark a County revival that saw them run out 5-2 winners.

Junior side Irvine Meadow made their long trip to Brora Rangers worthwhile with Steven Swift and John Dillon netting to seal a 2-0 win. Inverurie beat St Cuthbert Wanderers 5-0 to spark hopes of repeating the heroic run of last season when they reached the last 32.

CAPTION(S):

VETERAN'S PARADE: Stevie Mallan, 42, hits Talbot's seventh goal, left, and John Boyle grabs the fourth RUFF JUSTICE: Bamber is sent off, main pic, Talbot keeper Adam Strain deals with pitch invader, left, and kids get best view