..and then he kissed me; A Scots author has written a diary of a teenager which will be as much of a must-read for teens as parents.

Byline: By Lisa Adams 

YOUNG love is a confusing thing.We might look back on teenage romance through misty eyes, but the reality was probably a lot different The sleepless nights, the hours spent agonising over that boy or girl in your class and the endless conversations with teenage pals.

When you are a 15-year-old girl, love isn't about life or death, it is far more important.

In her new book, My Desperate Love Diary, Scottish author Liz Rettig tells the tale of young romance through the eyes of teenager Kelly Ann.

She is 15, wants bigger boobs, blonde hair and for G, the biggest idiot in school, to fall for her. Here, Liz tells us why she wrote the book and brings us a weekend in the life of her heroine Do you remember the first time?The time you looked across a crowded classroom or playground and, wham, that annoying lad who used to borrow your rubber and never return it had morphed into Mr Incredibly Gorgeous that you must have at all costs.

Annoyingly enough, along with this realisation usually comes a complete inability to string two words together when MIG talks to you and an awful tendency to flush scarlet if he glances in your direction.

And if you were anything like me, we're not talking a delicate attractive blush here, but angry red splodges all over your face and neck.

Teenage love ... it's so unfair. Since writing My Desperate Love Diary, a story about a 15-year-old Glasgow schoolgirl's love life, or more accurately, attempt to get a love life, I've often been asked if the heroine is based onme?

Well, I have a confession to make. I started getting romantic notions about boys much earlier than Kelly Ann. In fact, my first love was, well we'll call him Danny, a charming cad who sat beside me in primary six.

He told me I had nice eyes and that compliment earned him the privilege of copying my school work.

Alas, our love was not to be as the suspicious teacher eventually moved him to a spot where he could no longer copy my work.

Worse was to follow, as I was transferred to a girls' school where the only members of the opposite sex were two male teachers.

Nevertheless, like almost every other girl in the school, I had an awful crush on them for years.

Business people call it supply and demand. In this case, the supply was very low and demand very, very high.

Imagine the excitement then, when one day a group of muscular construction workers arrived to work on repairs to the school.

The poor guys must have been terrified. Our behaviour brought a rebuke from the headmistress who came on the tannoy to tell us to stay away from the workmen and stop interfering with their tools.

Yes, she said that.

Despite all that, I eventually navigated my way through the turbulent waters of adolescence to the relative calm of adulthood.

That's when I became a secondary teacher and was plunged once more into the world of teenage angst, this time at the receiving end of adolescent moods#My Desperate Love Diary by Liz Rettig costs pounds 5.99 and is published by Random House Children's Books on July 710am DDAY 

, or Gday anyway . This is my day of destiny . Woke up this morning and didn ' t have a single spot. Feel it' s a sign that my hour has come.

Tonight will be the night G and I will declare our secret love.

Am going to spend the entire day making myself beautiful for the most important occasion of my entire life Just know everything is going to workout fantastically well. For the first time in my life I feel totally confident, beautiful, powerful and serene. OhG, just a few more hours and you'll be mine

1pm

HAVE just read my horoscope. It said that Venus is square with Uranus and this means that the outlook for love is poor.

What should I do? Maybe I shouldn ' t go tonight in case it' s a bad time

1.30pm

PHONED Stephanie in a panic and got the expected, cheap 'Uranus my arse' joke but she did give me some good advice.

She told me to check out another horoscope so I did.

The Daily Post said tonight Mars was in conjunction with Venus, which made it a fantastic night for romance. Hurrah

2.30pm

HAVE just checked out a third horoscope to make sure and it wasn ' t quite so good.

It said that with the new moon in my opposite house and Neptune opposed by Venus and Mars, deception and conflict were possible and I needed to be very careful in my dealings with others. Maybe I should look up some more horoscopes.

5pm

JULIAN has emailed me a list of 200,000 horoscope websites.

Have checked over fifty of them and they all seem to be different. Don ' t know what to donow6pm LIZ came round. She said horoscopes were superstitious rubbish and not to pay any attention to them - but she has lent me her lucky silver locket which she says is virtually guaranteed to bring good fortune in love

7.30pm

THINK Liz' s locket is working already . Have never looked better .

Stephanie has lent me a short, red, strappy dress which she says is a little too tight for her but fits me perfectly .

For once my skin is flawless without a single spot, blemish or pimple - just a few freckles but can ' t do anything about that. Liz helped me straighten my hair with her new straighteners and now it shines in the light Liz said I looked fantastic and would have to fight guys off with a stick tonight. She said it' s just a pity it was all going to get wasted onG. Am so happy . Just know that tonight will be the best night of my life

WHAT a weird night last night. Of course, I feel ecstatically happy but also somehow really upset. It's all Chris's fault.

Stephanie's party was amazing. She had invited hundreds of people, there was a live band who could actually play and best of all, her mum and boyfriend had booked in to a hotel for the night so we were free to do what we wanted. Stephanie and Liz had warned me not to focus on G all the time and, though he followed me round all night, for once I took their advice and danced and flirted with loads of other people. It worked. G couldn't take his eyes off me and kept trying to get me to himself.

It was around midnight when the lights dimmed and the band started to play a slow number .

Actually it was a pretty awful old song, 'Lady in Red' which my mum used to like before she went mad, but still, it was the first slow dance and I could see G making a bee-line for me across the room. I caught his eye, smiled and waited.

Was really annoyed then when Chris unexpectedly came up beside me, put his arm around my shoulder , and said, 'C'mon, Kelly Ann, I requested this one for you. Let's dance.

Couldn't think of an excuse so found myself shuffling round the floor with Chris whilst trying to keep an eye on G by peering over his shoulder . Good. He hadn't asked anyone else to dance and was still looking at me.

When the dance finished, I immediately started to hurry back towards G but Chris caught my arm and said he needed to talk to me. What was it now?

Went with Chris upstairs to Stephanie's bedroom, which amazingly was not occupied by any couples having it off.

Then he said that he really liked me. That he thought I was beautiful and that he'd fancied me for years. He said he wanted me to be his girlfriend and not just a girl who was a friend. Was totally gobsmacked Had to tell him that, although I liked him as a friend, I didn't think of him in that way .

Just at that moment the bedroom door opened. It was G! He didn't come in straight away but leaned against the doorframe and asked what the two of us were up to. Chris said, nothing - he was just going, then he looked at me and said, 'Goodbye, Kelly Ann' in a really sad and final kind of way before walking out the door past G.

G came in then and shut the bedroom door . We moved towards each other and then it happened. I was in G's arms and he was kissing me.

It was absolutely fantastic of course, except that G's breath smelled strongly of beer and the chips with curry sauce he'd had earlier

LIZ'S GUIDE

ADULTS' GUIDE TO TEENAGERS

IF your daughter is buying sexy underwear, she's having sex.

Sorry, but she is.

IF your son is buying condoms he is at least hoping to have sex.

TEENAGERS don't want to see you dance.

TEENAGERS assume you don't have sex so don't talk about it.

IF you want to embarrass any teenager, ignore points 3 and 4

TEENAGERS' GUIDE TO ADULTS: IF your parents still sleep together they're having sex. Sorry, but they are

YOUR parents are probably no more embarrassing than your friends' parents, it just feels that way

YOUR teachers talk about you in the staff room.

It's not all good.

THE student teacher doesn't fancy you.

THAT'S maybe what they're talking about in the staff room

CAPTION(S):

ROMANTIC: Liz Rettig, left, charts young love torment in her book