... social networking proves no substitute for the real thing as our man meets a Czech mate and an England cricketer; BARRY TURNBULL.

SOME people must think I''m terribly rude. I''ve lost count of the number of invitations I''ve had to join social networking sites like Facebook, LinkedIn, Plexus and the like. I have never replied to any, assuming that senders merely cast out a general invite to whoever is on their mailing list.

I revisited one message recently and found a personal note almost beseeching me to join his LinkedIn gang ... maybe I should give it a go.

The only social site I did sign up to was Where Are You Now (WAYN), which is designed for people who want to meet new friends while on their travels. I was heading for a solo tour of the Tata mountain region between Poland and the Czech Repblic and thought it may be useful to make some contacts, but in the event WAYN proved to be no real friend. However, by proper social networking - face to face - I met someone who insisted I stay in his flat for a few days while he went to his parents.

A female neighbour of his also proved to be very accommodating. Despite my reservations, it seems virtual networking as a phenomenon is here to stay, even though, in the online world, things can move very quickly indeed. Take Friends Reunited, bought by ITV for a whop-pinpounds 175m and sold recently for a knockdown pounds 25m because its popularity has waned. I did have a dip into FR and discovered one school chum''s hobby was buying doubledecker buses and another was an international tax consultant ... I lost my appetite for further knowledge. There are now sites out there that cater for every taste from Cloob (popular in Iran) to FetLife (bondage, etc).

Now another has crossed my radar. Club Penguin. My 11-year-old son chose to join this young people''s site as a reward for doing well in his SATS tests but it''s led to all sorts of complications. Boys tend to follow fads at that kind of age, and it soon became apparent that he had struck up a friendship with someone who has a barn owl for a pet.

Now it''s grown into an obsession about getting a bird of prey that was fuelled recently when he was pictured with an eagle at the Wir ral Show. Books from the library, internet research, feeding habits, costs; a bombardment that shows no sign of stopping. The plan seems to be to wear me down but it hasn''t worked and I''ve had to curtail use of the website to get some peace.

Maybe it''s an age thing but I still can''t get any enthusiasm for twittering or blogging. Good old-fashioned direct communications suits me fine. I was thinking about the world of virtual meetings after speaking to someone who knew about such matters at a PR firm's summer party. Apparently most of the cyber-users have about five close friends, like in real life, but many more casual acquaintances.

So, for many, the virtual world is somewhere they can pick up many more acquaintances than they ever could in real life. Some wear it as a badge of honour with more than 1,000contacts and some are real nerds with few social skills.

Evidence of this is the way some friends are "dropped".

IAM told that to have in excess of 1,000 friends is not uncommon. It can be a bit like trainspotting. They just want to get as many people on their list as possible.

However, it can start to upset some people. They start by feeling good that they appear to have made a new friend, only to find out that they are simply being added to a list.

This and the nature of online friendship had spawned "the phenomenon of defriending" as a means of severing relationships.

Instead of having a row or pointedly refusing to speak to a friend whose views or behaviour were unacceptable, they could simply have their names deleted. Interesting, but not for me.

Not so long ago, I lunched at the Restaurant Bar and Grill where I bumped into financial adviser Ian Cockbain who introduced me to his son, Ian jnr. Both used to play cricket for Bootle.

I almost fell off my bar-stool some days later while watching some of the Ashes series when the aforementioned young man joined the England players as a substitute fielder.

Now that''s proper contact making, and might be useful for tickets, too. Although, by the time you read this, hopes of winning the Ashes may well have been dashed.

CAPTION(S):

Ian Cockbain Jnr - one day shooing the breeze in the Restaurant Bar and Grill, the next turning out for England against the Aussies