'TORQUE' MOSTLY SPINNING ITS WHEELS.Byline: Glenn Whipp Film Critic WHAT HAPPENS when a guy who produces B-movies aimed at 13-year-old boys decides to make a B-movie of one his B-movies? ``Torque'' happens. A cheap knock-off of producer Neal Moritz's previous brain-busters ``The Fast and the Furious'' and ``XXX,'' ``Torque'' rumbles loud and lewd for the duration of its not-brief-enough 81 minutes before disappearing into the vapors of memory. The action sequences of this biker movie are edited in a way that would make McG's head spin. The babes are easy on the eyes, but Moritz (working with two first-timers: director Joseph Kahn This article is about the music video director. For the journalist, see Joseph Kahn (journalist). For the Linkin Park turntablist, see Joseph Hahn. Joseph Kahn and writer Matt Johnson) hasn't cast anyone on the level of Asia Argento or Michelle Rodriguez to make your head turn. And this isn't just about looks. ``Torque's'' designated eye candy Images and animated graphics added to Web sites and interactive software that makes the information exciting. In other words, glitz, sizzle and pizzazz. See cornea gumbo. Monet Mazur Monet Happy Mazur (born April 17, 1976) is an American actress and musician. Biography Personal life Mazur was born in Los Angeles, California, daughter of a former fashion model mother and Ruby Mazur, an illustrator who has worked in the record industry and at and Jaime Pressly Jaime Lynn Pressly (born July 30, 1977) is an Emmy Award winning American actress and model. She currently plays Joy on the NBC sitcom My Name Is Earl. Biography Personal Life Pressly was born in Kinston, North Carolina to James Liston Pressly Sr. have their merits, but screen presence isn't one of them. For a dumb movie to work, you need to hire charismatic actors who can wink at the camera and let you know that they understand the tacit pact they've made with you. Their performance should say, ``Yes, I know this is junk, but everyone likes a bag of pork rinds now and then, right?'' The only person who gets that here is Ice Cube, who plays one of the biker gang leaders pursuing our hero Ford (Martin Henderson Martin Henderson (born October 8, 1974) is a New Zealand actor. Henderson was born in Auckland, New Zealand. He started acting when he was thirteen years old, appearing in "Strangers", a local television production. , making Paul Walker look like James Dean Noun 1. James Dean - United States film actor whose moody rebellious roles made him a cult figure (1931-1955) James Byron Dean, Dean by comparison). ``Torque'' has Ford running from the law and Cube after being set up by a rival biker for murder and drug running. Besides Cube, ``Torque'' has one selling point, its adrenalin-dripping final chase scene through downtown Los Angeles Downtown Los Angeles is the central business district of Los Angeles, California, located close to the geographic center of the metropolitan area. The sprawling, multi-centered megacity is such that its downtown core is often considered just another district like Hollywood or . It's as if the filmmakers spent every dime they had here and didn't have enough left over to do anything else out of the ordinary or cast someone who'd work above scale. And it shows. Glenn Whipp, (818) 713-3672 glenn.whipp(at)dailynews.com TORQUE - One and one half stars (PG-13: violence, sexuality, language, drug references.) Starring: Martin Henderson, Ice Cube, Monet Mazur. Director: Joseph Kahn. Running time: 1 hr. 21 min. Playing: Wide release. In a nutshell: Young people of America: Don't be duped into spending your hard-earned Mountain Dew money. You won't get the same rush. |
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