'THE CLOSER YOU GET,' THE FARTHER AWAY WE WANT TO BE.

Byline: Glenn Whipp Film Critic

The people at Fox Searchlight Pictures seem to see the British Isles as a haven for cute, cuddly, cartoonish men who want nothing more than to be loved - or win the lottery. Up until now, these movies - ``The Full Monty'' and ``Waking Ned Devine'' - have been charming, crowd-pleasing diversions, full of warmth, wit and boozy good cheer.

But the formula wears a bit thin with the studio's latest effort, ``The Closer You Get,'' a flimsy bit of whimsy about a bunch of Irish losers who aren't so much lovable as they are irritating. Everybody in this movie strains so hard to be cute that it's surprising the filmmakers didn't bring in talking animals or dancing babies and make it even more twee.

Instead, what we have is a group of annoying Irishmen, united in their bachelorhood, their flabbiness and their thorough lack of sex appeal. Still, some of the women in their remote, northern coastal town find these bloated blokes appealing, but the men (being men) are oblivious to the signals being sent. They sit in the pub, drink their Guinness and pine for true love.

One day, the boys decide to do something about the absence of passion (not to mention sex) in their lives. They place a classified advertisement in the Miami Herald, inviting single American women, preferably beautiful, ages 20 to 21, to join them for their annual St. Martha's Day dance. Once the dance is over, they'll head to the church and tie the knot.

Needless to say, once the town's women learn about the men's end- around, relations between the sexes become a bit frosty. They even decide to take up with some foreigners of their own, the Spanish musicians who arrive to play at the dance. The third act leads down the well-trodden, predictable road implied by the title.

``The Closer You Get'' certainly has the potential for cuteness, but BBC veteran screenwriter William Ivory delivers mostly repetitive, dull situations. It's not much fun watching a bunch of mopes who don't realize the truths that the audience long ago discovered. First-time filmmaker Aileen Ritchie's wooden direction doesn't help much, either.

The ensemble - headed by Ian Hart and made up of Irish and English stage veterans and a few unknowns - is appealing enough, but it hardly matters. If you met these characters in a pub, you'd find another place to drink. Meet them in a theater and you'll need a belt or two just to dull the pain.

The facts

--The film: ``The Closer You Get'' (PG-13; brief language, some sexual material).

--The stars: Ian Hart, Niamh Cusack, Sean McGinley.

--Behind the scenes: Directed by Aileen Ritchie. Screenplay by William Ivory. Released by Fox Searchlight Pictures.

--Running time: One hour, 32 minutes.

--Playing: Landmark's Westside Pavilion in West Los Angeles; Laemmle's Sunset 5 in West Hollywood; Laemmle's Monica in Santa Monica.

--Our rating: One and one half stars

CAPTION(S):

photo

Photo:

Ian Hart, left, Cathleen Bradley and Risteard Cooper star in Aileen Ritchie's comedy ``The Closer You Get.''