'SPONGEBOB,' 'RIGHT ON TRACK' SQUEEZED DRY.Byline: David Kronke TV Critic WHAT TO WATCH with the kids on a Friday night? Two new offerings don't really answer the question. Of course, kids are always eager to see ``SpongeBob SquarePants This article is about the series. For the title character, see SpongeBob SquarePants (character). For other uses, see SpongeBob SquarePants (disambiguation). SpongeBob SquarePants is an Emmy-nominated American animated television series and media franchise. ,'' Nickelodeon's absurdist adventures of its highly marketable underwater hero. Tonight's episode promises a famously ``lost episode,'' but, as with a previous special or two, it's simply one new cartoon padded to an entire episode's length with some frantic, not terribly funny live material featuring the pirate Patchy (Tom Kenny, who's also the voice of SpongeBob), the president of Mr. SquarePants' fan club. The ``lost episode'' concerns SpongeBob's oddball wish to fly with the jellyfish jellyfish, common name for the free-swimming stage (see polyp and medusa), of certain invertebrate animals of the phylum Cnidaria (the coelenterates). The body of a jellyfish is shaped like a bell or umbrella, with a clear, jellylike material filling most of the - as he's underwater, it's a quixotic quix·ot·ic also quix·ot·i·cal adj. 1. Caught up in the romance of noble deeds and the pursuit of unreachable goals; idealistic without regard to practicality. 2. quest in keeping with the show's often Dadaistic humor. But my 12-year-old SpongeBob fan wasn't much interested in Patchy's bizarre behavior. Likewise, my 9-year-old got bored quickly with ``Right on Track,'' a new Disney Channel movie about junior drag-racing wunderkinder Erica and Courtney Enders. She found the circuit's ubiquitous machismo machismo Exaggerated pride in masculinity, perceived as power, often coupled with a minimal sense of responsibility and disregard of consequences. In machismo there is supreme valuation of characteristics culturally associated with the masculine and a denigration of and sexism - Erica (Beverley Mitchell) is repeatedly warned by simpering sim·per v. sim·pered, sim·per·ing, sim·pers v.intr. To smile in a silly, self-conscious, often coy manner. v.tr. bullies, ``Why don't you do us and the sport a favor and get out now,'' and the only thing missing is a villain sneaking around and cutting her brake lines - an overwrought o·ver·wrought adj. 1. Excessively nervous or excited; agitated. 2. Extremely elaborate or ornate; overdone: overwrought prose style. , programmatic conceit. Of course, she didn't use the words ``overwrought, programmatic conceit.'' She used the words: ``They're being a little bit exaggerative.'' And the obsessive drive with which Courtney and, particularly, Erica pursue their goals is unhealthy if not bratty brat·ty adj. brat·ti·er, brat·ti·est Characteristic of or being a brat; ill-mannered. brat  ti·ness n. . Performances and dialogue are wooden - even kids subjected to yet another bland message about surmounting obstacles to follow dreams deserve better. RIGHT ON TRACK - Two stars What: Docudrama about teen drag racers. Where: Disney Channel. When: 8 tonight. In a nutshell: Perfunctorily written and performed inspirational drama. SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS - Two and one half stars What: The pirate Patchy scrambles to locate SpongeBob's ``lost episode.'' Where: Nickelodeon. When: 8 tonight. In a nutshell: The cartoon's OK; what should be lost is the live-action material. |
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