'SEX, CITY' FAMILY WILL BE SORELY MISSED.

Byline: MARIEL GARZA

AFTER six seasons, the controversial HBO series ``Sex and the City'' ends tonight with a big finale.

I have been in pre-emptive mourning for weeks. I'm just not ready to give up the one thing that has made me look forward to Sunday nights for the past year. And I know I'm not alone.

In case you've missed the hype and hyperbole over the half-hour show, here's the quick summary: ``Sex and the City'' is a show about four Manhattan thirtyish women getting their Jones' on, and on, and on again. They are beautiful. They are rich - or at least richer than most of us. They wear designer clothes, and are invited to the hippest events in the hippest town in the world at which they are wooed by handsome and witty men.

And, as the title implies, they have lots of sex.

That sex part has caused more than a little public hand-wringing over the course of the show. Much ink had been devoted to delving into the societal implications of a portrayal of women engaging in sexual behavior that has typically been ascribed to rakish playboys. Many even dismissed the show as the TV equivalent of Cosmo - all image, no substance.

No doubt the overt sexuality of the characters and the show make people uncomfortable. Social conservatives have fretted that this was proof that feminism has ruined women for good, turning us all into sad wretches misguided in our quest for marriage and family by a roll in the hay and a pair of open-toe sandals.

I find that funny, because clearly these critics have been misguided by the show's title and the titillation of the sexy publicity stills and steamy ads.

At its heart, ``Sex and the City'' is only tangentially about sex. What it is really about is celebrating family, about cherishing and caring for the important people in your life. Seriously - just hear me out.

Not the traditional family, for sure, but the cobbled-together version that's the support system for many modern-day urbanites. Particularly in vast cities such as Los Angeles and New York, we are often disconnected from our birth families either by location or situation. But we are social critters, and generally don't do well in isolation. So we do the best to fashion our own communities where we can, making extended families out of our friends and partners.

And if there was one thing on the show that I yearned for more than anything else, it wasn't the fabulous clothes, the hip lifestyles or the handsome boyfriends. I envied the characters for their tight bond with one another, their little caring community in the middle of an uncaring city.

The boys mostly came and went (a couple did stay). But the four friends - Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte - never left each other. Just like families, they stuck out the worst and the best times.

They were there for each other during sicknesses and celebrations, during weddings and funerals, for the late-night panic calls and the midday reality checks. They told each other the hard truths that no one really wants to hear, as well as the little white lies whenever injuries required them.

Sure, they also have fabulous sex and exciting, celebrity lifestyles. Enviable couture and coiffage has certainly been a draw for watchers. This is TV, we expect it to be better than our own schlubby lives. So what if the reality of the ``Sex and the City'' characters in no way resembles my own, nor that of anyone I know. Neither does that of ``Ozzie and Harriet.''

I suspect that at its inception, ``Sex and the City'' was a little more about being shockingly sexy. That gets old after a while. In order to keep us coming back, the story line had to grow into something more substantial than just an endless adult romp through the Big Apple.

In the second half of this final season, the show's light creamy top layer has been lifted as the writers wrap up the real story line - the drama of a family whose members are changing from one stage of life to another. They are becoming mothers and wives, facing illnesses and life choices, and moving away from the glamorous city for a better quality of life.

Sex, and even the city itself, have been conspicuously absent, leaving us with something resembling a Lifetime movie with raunchy dialogue. There's been one character's plucky fight against cancer. Another is struggling with infertility. The third is transitioning from high-powered lawyer to new mother, new wife and moving to dreaded Brooklyn.

Who knew this supposedly socially damaging show would end on such an Oprah note?

I don't know how the series will end tonight. Maybe the main character, Carrie, will remain in Paris with her artist boyfriend. Maybe she will be wooed back home by long-time love Big. Maybe she dumps them both and joins the Peace Corps. I don't know.

But there's one thing I do know: Whichever guy Carrie chooses, her girls are a sure thing.

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(color) Stars of ``Sex and the City'' are Kim Cattrall, from left, Cynthia Nixon, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kristin Davis. The series finale is tonight.