'PIRATES' MAY MAKE SOME WANT TO ABANDON SHIP.Byline: Bob Strauss Film Critic About two weeks into "Pirates of the Caribbean This article is about the franchise. For other, more specific uses, see Pirates of the Caribbean (disambiguation). For real pirates, see Piracy in the Caribbean. Pirates of the Caribbean : At World's End," you give up trying to figure out who's on who's side and what everyone's saying in unintelligible UNINTELLIGIBLE. That which cannot be understood. 2. When a law, a contract, or will, is unintelligible, it has no effect whatever. Vide Construction, and the authorities there referred to. accents. Then Keith Richards shows up for a few minutes and all is suddenly right with this incredibly bloated franchise operation. Except for that nagging unease when you realize that the real-life buccaneer buccaneer: see piracy. buccaneer Any of the British, French, or Dutch sea adventurers who chiefly haunted the Caribbean and the Pacific seaboard of South America during the latter part of the 17th century, preying on Spanish settlements and shipping. and Rolling Stone rolling stone Noun a restless or wandering person speaks more clearly than most of the professional actors in the cast. He obviously feels at home. For sheer excess, "POTC POTC Pirates of the Caribbean POTC Passion of the Christ (movie) POTC Protection of the Cabbage (Everquest, gaming) POTC Purchase Order Terms and Conditions POTC President Of The Company " beats this month's other wimpy Wimpy sloppily dressed comic strip character; always “forgets” to pay for hamburgers. [Comics: “Popeye” in Horn, 657–658] See : Irresponsibility three-peats by 20,000 leagues. I've long believed that too much is a good thing wherever pirates are concerned. Unlike most critics, I actually wanted more of the ingeniously wacky fightin' chase that went on forever at the climax of last year's "Dead Man's Chest." But "At World's End" finally jumped the shark. Or more accurately, it jumps the blue whale. Maybe a whole pod of them. One thing that can be said about "World's End" is that it really strives to give people their money's worth, something not nearly as apparent in the current "Spider-Man" and "Shrek" products. Generous as it may be with action and spectacle, though, there's a ponderousness pon·der·ous adj. 1. Having great weight. 2. Unwieldy from weight or bulk. 3. Lacking grace or fluency; labored and dull: a ponderous speech. See Synonyms at heavy. to this one that counterweights the good booty. I'm all for seeing a serious pirate movie one of these days, but that's not the agenda that's been established for this self-mocking, lighthearted series. Plus, even if it does bring emotionally charged climaxes to a couple of characters' stories, any movie with upside-down oceans, fish-faced people and Johnny Depp's Capt. Jack Sparrow can't pass for grand tragedy. Director Gore Verbinski and writers Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio seem to understand this from the previous voyages they've taken us on. Laughs are attempted whenever possible here. But the preponderance of plotting and -- avast a·vast interj. Nautical Used as a command to stop or desist. [From Middle Dutch hou vast, hold fast : hou, houd, imperative of houden, to hold + vast ! -- moral lessons in this sum- up adventure sure squelches a lot of chuckles. In trying to show and tell even more, the suddenly myth-conscious filmmakers often forget how to just have fun with all of this nonsense. "World's End" starts up some weeks after "Dead Man's Chest" left off. Back-from-the-dead Capt. Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) has led distrusting young lovers Will (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth (Keira Knightley), voodoo priestess Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris) and the usual gang of slapstick slapstick Comedy characterized by broad humour, absurd situations, and vigorous, often violent action. It took its name from a paddlelike device, probably introduced by 16th-century commedia dell'arte troupes, that produced a resounding whack when one comic actor used it to sailors to Singapore. Following the first of about 50,000 double-crosses and noisy fights, it's off to Davy Jones' Locker to rescue Capt. Jack. He's been in the ultimate purgatory since getting grabbed by old squid-face's (Bill Nighy) monster Kraken Kraken giant snakelike sea creature. [Dan. Folklore: Merca tante, 194–195] See : Monsters : Stuck on a grounded Black Pearl, alone except for multiple, yapping manifestations of his own mincing psyche. And crabs. Lots of crabs, actually. For some reason, this movie is big on crabs. Anyway, after the rescue (don't even ask how the metaphysics of that works), Sparrow and Barbossa bicker bick·er intr.v. bick·ered, bick·er·ing, bick·ers 1. To engage in a petty, bad-tempered quarrel; squabble. See Synonyms at argue. 2. over who's really in command of the Pearl as they try to round up the world's Pirate Lords for a showdown with the East India Co.'s massive armada. The British fleet is augmented by the Flying Dutchman, since evil corporateer Lord Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander) now controls that heart-in-a-box that means so much to Davy Jones. There's more. And more and more and more, most of which is beautifully designed and spectacularly rendered. And it's really not all that hard to follow the complicated story's basic outline; but it just becomes wearying. On the plus side, most of the main characters have amusing chances to get their pirate on or achieve important personal goals. You might even want to stay through the extensive closing credits for the series' first truly touching -- as opposed to jokey jok·ey also jok·y adj. jok·i·er, jok·i·est Characterized by joking or jokes, especially stale or clumsy jokes: jokey bumper stickers. -- epilogue. If you haven't pulled up anchor by then. Bob Strauss, (818) 713-3670 bob.strauss@dailynews.com PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END - Two and one half stars (PG-13: violence) Starring: Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Geoffrey Rush, Bill Nighy, Chow Yun-Fat, Naomie Harris, Stellan Skarsgard, Tom Hollander, Jack Davenport, Keith Richards. Director: Gore Verbinski. Running time: 2 hr. 47 min. Playing: Opens tonight beginning at 8 p.m. In wide release. In a nutshell: Third entry in the Pirates series lasts forever and is maybe half comprehensible. Keith Richards is worth waiting for, though. CAPTION(S): photo Photo: (color) Johnny Depp, left, and Orlando Bloom, right, are back for more high jinks in the third "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie. |
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