'MARILYN HOTCHKISS' HAS ITS OWN CHARMS.

Byline: Evan Henerson Staff Writer

From "Marilyn Hotchkiss' Ballroom Dancing & Charm School" (the movie, not the place), we learn that "dance is a very powerful drug." Indeed, the waltz and the cha-cha must be positively cocaine-ish since the same outdated little school in Pasadena seems to be sucking in bereaved bakers, one-legged travel agents, practitioners of domestic abuse, entire support groups and the odd man-hungry salsa specialist.

And here's the really great part. In "Hotchkiss" - as in so many dance-happy movies of late - nobody ever has to actually learn the steps to be any good. All you need, apparently, is a qualified instructor (in this case, played by Mary Steenburgen) rock-stepping friskily around you, the drug kicks in, and the most left-footed of hoofers becomes Gene Kelly in spirit if not in body.

Written and directed by Randall Miller - who. apparently, has some experience in Pasadena charm and cotillion - "Marilyn Hotchkiss" has more on its mind than the merengue, perhaps a little too much, in fact.

But let's start in the present, where a long-haired baker named Frank ("The Full Monty's" Robert Carlyle, entirely edge-free) sleepwalks his way through a daily existence of work, grief support group and home again. Every morning, he greets the ashes of his dead wife (a suicide) and buys a lemonade from the girls at the local lemonade stand.

Until one day, on his way to work, he happens on a gnarly car wreck. Steve, the driver (John Goodman), alive but practically sawed in half, is chatty and on a mission. He needs to make it to the aforementioned Ballroom Dancing & Charm School to keep an appointment with a childhood sweetheart, Lisa. Frank keeps Steve talking, and he ends up keeping the appointment.

The wounded soul lineup at the Hotchkiss Studio includes a fleet-of-foot hothead named Randall Ipswitch (Donnie Wahlberg) and his sad, beaten-down stepsister Meredith (Marisa Tomei). Frank doesn't find Lisa, and he can't dance, but he takes the class anyway. And, with Meredith in his sights despite Randall's disapproval, he keeps coming back. His moves improve. As does his outlook.

This mini miracle happens, naturally, through that powerful drug known as dance. One by one, Frank's equally sad-sack support-group members enter the studio and start to perk up. Even the studio's spacy administrator, Marianne Hotchkiss (Steenburgen), learns to stop invoking her dead mother and puts on a hot dress.

Miller cuts back and forth between Frank's progress at Hotchkiss and the Frank/Steve encounter (the movie's strongest section, by far). We flash back to young Steve, his crush on Lisa (though he gives her a black eye, the feelings are mutual) and the charm school ordeal that the entire neighborhood of children has to endure. Steve doesn't mind it so much. Three guesses why not.

With a few too many characters and plot fibers to track and about 100 minutes to do it, Miller goes for easy resolutions and leaves a lot of questions unanswered.

The movie should logically have been about Steve Mills. In addition to all his other talents, here's betting John Goodman can waltz up a tornado.

Evan Henerson, [phone]

evan.henerson(at)dailynews.com

MARILYN HOTCHKISS' BALLROOM DANCING & CHARM SCHOOL - Two and one half stars

(PG-13: mature situations, language)

Starring: Robert Carlyle, Marisa Tomei, Mary Steenburgen, Donnie Wahlberg, John Goodman.Director: Randall Miller.

Running time: 1 hr. 43 min.

Playing: Laemmle Monica 4-Plex, Laemmle Town Center 5, Laemmle Westlake Twin, Landmark Westside Pavilion.

In a nutshell: Ballroom dancing may accomplish great things among its practitioners, but it doesn't guarantee any kind of great movie. A very nice turn by the always watchable John Goodman.

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Photo:

Robert Carlyle goes from grieving widower to enthusiastic hoofer with help from Marilyn Hotchkiss' dance school.