'It's not me, it's you': is breaking up really all that hard to do? Not after you read this.

Fall--time for haunted houses, football games and, ooh, hay rides. You should be totally psyched for pumpkin season because, for once, you have a pumpkin of your own to enjoy the fun with. But, lately, every time you and your BF are kickin" it, you find yourself yearning to be ... anywhere else. As great a guy as he might he, something about you-two-as-an-item just doesn't feel right. Here's how to know when it's time to let it go--in a way that won't leave anyone feeling in the dumps.

Signs It's Time

Sometimes it's loud and clear when you should give a relationship the old heave-ho--like, say, when you catch your BF under the bleachers with another girl. But other times it's not so obvious, and you might second-guess your decision to end this thing. Here are some clues that it might be time to mosey along....

No common ground If your conversations with each other amount to a whole lotta nothing other than some intermittent "ums" and "ers," then he isn't the guy for you. You want a guy you find interesting and who is interested in you--not just someone who looks good and is a great kisser. So, if you don't like talking with him as much as you like locking lips with him, it could be time to kiss him goodbye.

You'd rather be sailing You and your BF are sharing a romantic walk in the park ... and all you can think about is getting home to watch Smallville reruns. Yikes! If you find your mind wandering when you're with him, you're simply not in the moment. If you don't enjoy his company, what's the point?

Cling much? Oh, sweet irony of love. All you ever wished for was some great guy to worship you. And now you have him. Sadly, the curie you adored because he was so into you is now getting, frankly, a little bit annoying. OK, a lot annoying! Imbalances in a relationship are awkward. If he is moving along too fast or seems to like you way more than you like him, let him go.

Eye on another guy Can't stop thinking about what it would be like to get to know that hottie you met last weekend at your friend's birthday party? If you have your eyes set on someone else and are genuinely considering a hot pursuit, then it's time to call it quits.

Breaking Up 101

Is it possible to let him down without breaking his (and your) heart? We won't lie to you, sister--breakups are never fun. But here are some tips that might help ease the pain for both of you....

Keep it on the DL Before you go gabbing to your crew, the whole soccer league and half the sophomore class, think about how not fun it is to hear that you are about to get dumped! Breaking news of the breakup is something your boyfriend should hear straight from the source--you. Sure, rely on your closest friends for support, but don't let them do your dirty work.

Location, location, location Don't dump your BF in front of an audience. Ideally, you should be bold and tell him face to face, but have a heart and do it when you two are alone. If you can't find some one-on-one time, it's fine to tell him over the phone. But even though this is the age of technology, it's not cool to dump him over IM or c-mail.

Honesty is the best policy You spend a week making up some story you think will soften the blow, and the best you can come up with is, "I can't date you anymore, Herbert, because, umm...my great aunt twice removed has acid reflux so I'll be spending a lot of time with her...." Whatever, Pinocchio! Steer clear of lying. He'll respect you a whole lot more if you are up front. A simple, "I don't think we're compatible as a couple," will do. No further explanation or drama needed.

Boys have feelings too Your boyfriend (now ex) might be sad or angry (or both) about the breakup. That's to be expected. Don't be surprised if you wind up feeling a little low, too. Ending a relationship is never easy--even when it's your idea. Give yourselves some time to bounce back before jumping on the "we can be friends" ship.

Friends in the End?

Friends! Can you really be friends with your ex? After you finally end it with your boyfriend, you just can't help saying it. In fact, the words jump out of your mouth as if they have a life of their own: "I hope we can still be friends!" What does that mean?

Repeat after me "Friends do not hook up." Say it, over and over again, until you believe it. Even though you might still be attracted to your ex, hooking up post-breakup will only confuse and further complicate matters. Don't string him along for a chance at empty romance.

Rebound effect If you want to be his friend, it's not fair to freak out when he dates other girls! Your ex-boyfriend is a great guy, and some adorable girl is bound to be crushing on him. So don't wig out about it. It's normal to feel a twinge of jealousy but, hey, you broke up with him for a reason. Time to refresh your memory and simply wish him well.

Look into your future Is a continued friendship with this guy really necessary? Sometimes trying to be friends with your ex can only lead to more trouble, especially if the breakup was messier than you anticipated. Don't force a friendship if you're not feeling it.

Don't look back Breaking up is not fun, but be proud of yourself for handling the split with style. Continue to demonstrate dignity in dumping by resisting any and all urges to rag on your ex in gossip circles. Your silence will earn you tons of unspoken respect. And now, above all else, bask in your singleness!