'DESPERATE' TIMES CALL FOR ... A RECAP.

Byline: - Valerie Kuklenski

When we last saw ``Desperate Housewives,'' Susan was sobbing, Bree was hiding, and frequently overwrought Lynette was smiling so much, she must have been on something.

No, wait. That was Teri Hatcher, Marcia Cross and award winner Felicity Huffman at the Emmys last weekend.

After a long summer of reruns, ABC's hottest drama returns for season two at 9 tonight with the expectation that the neighbors of Wisteria Lane will again be gathering in basic black, casserole dishes in hand, to mourn the untimely demise of a character.

In the season finale, Bree's husband, Rex (Steven Culp), apparently died as the result of improper heart medication provided by the neighborly pharmacist who is jealously protective of Bree and resented her husband's extramarital affair even more than his wronged wife did. Then there was Mike (James Denton), who was bent on killing Paul but didn't. But Paul's son Zach, presuming his father is dead, was out for revenge and took Susan (Hatcher) hostage while waiting for her boyfriend, Mike, to return home.

Of course, death is a rather vague condition in this particular suburb, where goings-on are narrated from the omniscient afterlife by Mary Alice (Brenda Strong), who committed suicide in last season's pilot episode.

NBC counterprograms ``Housewives'' at 9 p.m. this season with ``The West Wing,'' which has had new life breathed into it by the addition of Jimmy Smits and Alan Alda as the Democratic and Republican candidates, respectively, seeking to succeed two-term President Jed Bartlet (Martin Sheen). The finale had Smits' Matt Santos claiming his party's nomination after an exciting political convention, with Barlet chief of staff Leo McGarry (John Spencer) as his running mate. Others from the White House who joined the campaigns of Santos' rivals will be sorting out their futures, while press secretary C.J. Cregg is under suspicion of leaking military secrets to a reporter.

And in other cliffhangers being resolved tonight:

--``Grey's Anatomy'' (10 p.m., ABC) Dr. Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo) had to pick up her mandible from her sternum after her lover, Derek Shepherd, M.D., S.O.B. (Patrick Dempsey), employed absolutely no bedside manner as he ended their relationship by introducing Meredith to his wife.

``Crossing Jordan'' (10 p.m., NBC) Macy (Miguel Ferrer) is under investigation for his suspected cover-up of evidence in an old case involving a prominent politician, and Jordan has been assigned to re-evaluate the case. (Whatever its effect on Macy's career, his replacement, Dr. Jack Slokum, is outta there after the season premiere because Henry Winkler is tied up with a new CBS sitcom.) Meanwhile, Woody (Jerry O'Connell) got caught in the line of fire in a sting operation. His recuperation is giving him time to think about his future, both professionally and personally.

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ALLISON JANNEY: ``The West Wing''