'Cos Lee Ralph said so.

AT Thrasher, we don't do too many of these company-sponsored events. I'm not trying to sound hardcore or tough here, we just don't get invited that often. I suspect that Jake scares most of them off, or that when pressed to choose between him and the cute marketing dudes of the other mags--awash in spread sheets, Brixton fedoras slightly cocked--the company people take the easy way out. So it makes sense that our first partnership in a long time would be with an Australian company. Australians are of a hardier stock, you see, spawned of convicts and adventurer types. They might even see Jake as one of their own. Yes? Possibly? Well, at least they're not scared of him. Which was enough to get us on board with Globe and over to Oz for a fantastic week of high-voltage international skate action.

The Tizzy at Pizzey

WHILE THE SOLEMN SKATERS of the American East Coast wear their rough streets and extra-high rails right next to their hearts (and just over from their gold chains) on their sleeves, the Australians have missed a great opportunity at non-Californian martyrdom when it comes to the kinked, death-trap of a run that is the Pizzey Park halfpipe. I mean, I'd heard that Pizzey was challenging, but I never realized just how white-knuckle hazardous it really is. Though glistening under a new sky-blue paint job, this 10-foot-deep half-pipe retained its sandpapery surface--a jagged, uneven no-honk lip, nearly-invisible kink-sink craters, and transitions as unpredictable and dangerous as a night out with Sheffey. Oh yeah, and that escalator hip? That thing will kill you.

From the smiles on the locals' faces, these features only add to Pizzey's allure. Aussie optimism, I guess. Shane Cross was dashing the lip like it was 1988 (with a headband that suggested 1968), and topped it off with a backside noseblunt that would turn heads in 2008. Chad Bartie grinded frontside feebles into the channel and worked the hip upstream while Mumford unleashed good buddies (fakie to eggplants), backside tailslides, and big tail-boned frontside airs. Other Aussie strandouts included Saul Bell, Andrew Currie, Joel Webb, and the amazingly stylish Todd Shirley. The Seppos were holding their own, too. Party Boy Kyle Berard slashed sugarcanes forward and to revert while Adam Dyet grabbed a kickflip backside air, The Lutzka smacked frontside blunts and Chet Childress slid blunts to backside lip. International buffers included Rune Glifberg, David Gonzales, Mark Appleyard and his array of nollie bigspins, and Alex Chalmers, who braved the escalator hip with a hard-won switch tailslide to revert. The sun cooked the capacity crowd while Jake and the SPOT crew handed out cash for hot moves. In the end, a draw was declared between Mumford, who lipslid the channel both ways, and Omar Hassan, whose concrete assault included all those roll-in corner variations, fastplants to fame, heelflip frontside airs through the bend, and even a stomped McTwist padless!--the first at Pizzey since Tony Hawk. The shredding went on for hours and somehow everyone walked away under their own power--a minor miracle.

Mini-Ramp Madness

THIS WAS MORE of a backyard barbecue type of deal, but that didn't stop dudes from getting nuts on the mellow tin-can of a mini-ramp behind the Globe offices and Jake and the boys from handing out five grand in wads of cash. It was a full freak show with Chalba on the mic, Karl Beard breaking his collarbone on the rocket drop, Terrell Robinson going Donkey Kong off the wall to fame, Chalmers and a bunch of locals jumping in off the roof, and Schaefer and his crew attempting to turn the party into a Girls Gone Wild situation by offering a few dating ladies cash for drop-in attempts. On the serious side, Dyet and Bartie were all over the shop, as was David Gonzales, who unloaded kickflip frontside noseblunt slides, fakie 360 flips to noseblunt and a wild 540 backside boneless that would make Aaron Deeter give up his Deadbolts. Local Jack Fardell ruled the extension, but it was burly beardsman Chris Haslam who ruled the roost, offering up the greatest hits from his KOTR and Cheese 'N' Crackers video parts, as well as pulling a few new ones like the frontside blunt to late shove-it. I'm not sure how much cash Chris ended up with, but I know he was given a salary cap after half a dozen trips to Phelper's wallet.

Following that whole mess, the action switched to a three-foot-high, four-foot-wide vertical concrete quarterpipe in the far corner of the yard for a competition dubbed The Lee Ralph High-Air Challenge. While there was a brief attempt at holding such an event (with Ralph himself floating proper vert-style backsides and Dyet and Chalmers getting in some impressive lofts), the real fun began once the focus shifted to the wall behind the quarterpipe--and convincing someone to take the head-high plop into the negligible tranny. Nothing rallies a crowd like a beat down, and the mob seethed with excitement as a local daredevil took slam after bowel-loosening slam. He finally (sort of) landed it and was held aloft by well wishers, King for a Day. It was a nice ending.

The Double Stack Cash Attack

WHEN PLANNING a high-impact type of best-trick event, the biggest concern is that no one's going to land anything. Seriously, at Wallenberg only three tricks got pulled all day. The rest of the time was fools getting served up; perfect for entertainment value, but a harsh situation when you've just paid to fly the world's best skaters two-thirds of the way around that sucker to enter your contest. Fortunately for any concerned, Terrell Robinson kick/tipped the Varsity Double within the first 15 seconds and the cash attack was officially on. The set (a rowdy six-flat-seven) is as perfect as something that large can be, with no cracks and a hubba-style ledge capped with metal especially for the event. Although the Globe people had secured the proper permits and had some semblance of security, the run-up featured impediments straight from the raw streets including cops, ears, and even a woman pushing a baby buggy straight in front of a speeding skater.

Here's how the action broke down:

TERRELL ROBINSON

Made $1,000 for the kickflip as well as a 50-50 down the dangerous hubba, which on an early attempt sent him into an astounding back-handspring bail.

PAUL MACHNAU

Lofted frontside airs and bonelesses before getting severely pinched on a crooked grind attempt.

PAUL RODRIGUEZ

Nailed the varial heel P-Rod-easy for $500, but got hung up trying the switch frontside flip, giving up after several attempts and a few heavy slams.

STEFAN JANOSKI

The Attacka from Vaca, Stefan took his precision approach to a picture-perfect switch kickflip while wearing shorts. Now that's confidence. $1,500 from the Phelper.

SIERRA FELLERS

Played around with chicken wings and a one-foot ollie, but his switch heelflip was so tweaked (and even torqued over to the side a little) that the judges had to hand him $500. A couple more moves and Sierra could have taken this one.

CHIMA FERGUSON

Everyone was stoked to see Chima unload his patented backside 360--simply amazing, $1,500 for lightning striking twice.

JESSE NEWMAN

Local boy took us up on the Lee Ralph challenge and bombed the big stack barefoot. $500 should about cover a lifetime of Dr Scholl's gel insoles, mate.

GREG LUTZKA

For a guy who usually pulls everything first try, Lutzka had his work cut out for him with the fakie flip. Brutal splits and full-body wallops plagued Greg before finally nailing it and plowing into the crowd. Lutzka also caught a switch ollie and a frontside flip, which is why he got $3,000. Shit, he almost won.

ADAM DYET

Dyet won a lot of people over this weekend with his go-for-it approach, enthusiasm, and ability to take on all terrain and come up with something original and gnarly. At Varsity he tried a couple of moves before settling on the switch backside heelflip which he landed so solidly I almost thought the board hadn't even flipped. It had, the crowd roared, and Dyet Trying earned a school teacher's yearly salary in two seconds--$30,000.

A BIG THANK YOU to Globe, SPOT crew, the competitors, and especially the locals who ripped all weekend and showed us such a good time. See you next year.

Check out all three events at www.globe.tv/doublestack