'CROOKED E' SHINES LIGHT ON ENRON SCANDAL.

Byline: David Kronke TV Critic

IN ``The Crooked E: The Unshredded Truth About Enron,'' the first line of dialogue is, ``America wasn't settled - America was conquered.'' This is the important lesson learned by a youthful Brian Cruver (Christian Kane) from a family friend, ``Mr. Blue'' (Brian Dennehy), an Enron executive whose philosophy is, ``If you see something worth taking, just take it.'' ``There's only one rule these days - there are no rules.''

A fairly heavy-handed opening, to be sure, but Enron laid a pretty heavy- handed lesson on many Americans regarding ruthless capitalism. So when shark sushi is blithely called ``Enron rolls,'' it's difficult to tell if that's satirical dramatic license or ironic reality.

Director Penelope Spheeris (``The Little Rascals'' - this could've been called ``The Big Rascals'') has created an anti-corporate screed in the form of a dry black comedy disguised as earnest docudrama. As Pink Floyd's ``Money'' predictably plays on the soundtrack, we see Cruver drive through the company parking garage, absorbing pixilated signs: ``Enron is INNOVATIVE'' followed by soothing propaganda pouring from video screens in the elevator and later from the lips of a Southern-tongued bimbo spokes-shill who introduces new employees to the company with a hollow pep talk.

Cruver (the film is based on his book, ``Anatomy of Greed'') serves as the prototypical fresh-faced recruit - he falters initially before becoming a slick b.s. artist in his own right. Preparing to marry his virtuous girlfriend, he soon discovers that family values at Enron are sheer folly. On the upside, there are limitless expense accounts; strippers work throughout the company (rampant pulchritude being just another office perk); office parties outdo ``Fellini Satyricon'' in terms of lurid decadence.

You can't do a story this outrageous in a subtle fashion, and performances are, at best, perfunctory (Mike Farrell plays Kenneth Lay, or as President George W. Bush knows - er, knew him, Kenny Boy). One of Spheeris' better touches is charting her story via the company's rise and collapse in the stock market (from April 2001's $60 to November 2001's $8). She can't resist a dig at Martha Stewart's own stock problems and cleverly employs Warren Zevon's ``I Was in the House When the House Burned Down'' near the bleak conclusion.

Were this fiction, we would all reject it as awfully convoluted. How could this much corruption, we'd righteously demand, be allowed to run so unchecked in America, where our leaders would surely protect us from such evildoers?

Living as we do in the real world, we only respond: Oh, never mind.

THE CROOKED E: THE UNSHREDDED TRUTH ABOUT ENRON - Three stars

What: Docudrama about the one of the biggest financial scandals in American history.

Where: CBS (Channel 2).

When: 9 tonight.

In a nutshell: A justly mean-spirited trashing of the mean-spirited trashing of the American economy.

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Photo:

A young Brian Cruver (Christian Kane, left) learns the Enron way from family friend ``Mr. Blue'' (Brian Dennehy) in ``The Crooked E: The Unshredded Truth About Enron.''