'BIG BROTHER 2': ORIGINAL'S FLAWS STILL ON DISPLAY.

Byline: David Kronke TV Critic

New executive producer Arnold Shapiro promised that ``Big Brother'' version 2.0 would be improved, and judging from Thursday night's debut, he was right. Something actually transpired in the first hour, as opposed to last year's preposterously self-congratulatory disaster.

We figured out who's loathsome, who's pathetic and who might be tolerable in human company but will never be able to show that thanks to brisker, more ruthless editing. The place looks moderately nicer (but MTV's ``Real World'' digs still outclass this network effort by a mile). The challenges will be more pointed and the mind games will be nastier.

But you know what? It just doesn't matter, because the concept's core flaws were made all the more acute. As opposed to last season, which was populated by bumpkins and bores, this year's cast is turbo-charged with a dozen arrogant, type-A boors, each one capable of talking a little more loudly and shrilly than the next. More than ever, all anyone seems to be concerned about is his or her close-up. (Thursday night on the live feeds, they were already obsessing on the ratings and what was shown on Episode One.)

The new season opened with just enough interchangeable sound bites from the new houseguests (``I'm the No. 1 drama queen,'' ``I'm opinionated and happy to get on your nerves,'' ``I'm good when I'm bad'') to make you consider switching channels, then dove headlong into the competitions. The gang of 12 piled into an SUV (product placement began a mere 20 minutes into the episode), which was given to whomever remained inside it the longest.

A nice thought, prompting some psychological gamesmanship: The winner of the SUV is likely to be the first to get booted off the show, but then, there's the desire to get at least something out of this ordeal. But everyone bailed early and the total elapsed time of the contest was 95 minutes - and this was for an SUV, not just a silly ``Survivor'' immunity idol, which inspired much longer, grueling contests. Shapiro eked little drama from the incident, and he's already out a car.

The winner of the wheels is clearly the first guy who's going to go. Not only did Kent bully Autumn, a single mom with no car, out of the prize, but he proved himself a pompous fuddy-duddy by complaining about the darn kids and their sex talk. Unwittingly, he also cozied up to and shared his homophobic views with Bunky, the unfortunately monikered gay man who has tried, apparently unsuccessfully, to hide his homosexuality from his fellow houseguests.

And what, you ask, is a single mom doing there in the first place? Hard to say, but watching Autumn put the moves on hunky Hardy (hands down, he'll be the first guy to score) the first night in the house suggests how Autumn became a single mom in the first place.

Everyone else in the house registered roughly the same level of irritation, with bonus aggravation points to Nicole, who's not only loud and has abandoned her 2-month-old marriage but is also a self-righteous vegetarian; Justin, a motor-mouth who fancies himself a ladies' man; and L.A.'s own Mike, who despite being well into adulthood, insists on wearing baseball caps backward and pretending life's one big party (the fact that he owns a bar might explain his pathologically upbeat nature).

Mike and Justin both demonstrated how ugly it can be when white men attempt to rap, and in a sequence so convoluted the editors gave up on trying to make it make sense, Mike was named the first week's Head of the Household.

The HOH gets his own cushy bedroom, but also has to select which houseguests will have their heads put on the chopping block (houseguests, not the general public, will vote off fellow contestants), which again should escalate in-house tension. So these guys will be more strident. Huge victory, Mr. Shapiro.

Host Julie Chen returns with reduced duties but more aggressive rhetoric: ``BB2,'' she tells us, will be ``a summer-long power struggle.'' Given our own power struggles out here, there's an easy way for viewers to conserve energy - snap off the TV three times a week during ``Big Brother 2.''

Watching? You'll pay

Unlike last year when it was free, the privilege of watching the live portion of ``Big Brother'' on the Internet - blurry little lurching images with sporadic spurts of sound that cut out frequently - will cost you.

CBS has joined with RealNetworks in providing this year's 24/7 live video streaming. The network is offering a free taste, but eventually if you want to watch the adventures of Krista, Autumn, Will and the rest of the crew, you have to pay a one-time fee of $19.95. CBS, however, on its Web site, warns you that network will be manipulating what it allows you to see even there; so if that jar of condoms starts getting used, there's no guarantee what you'll see.

``BIG BROTHER 2''

What: Lightly anticipated return of the much-reviled reality series.

Where: CBS (Channel 2).

When: 8 p.m. Thursdays, Saturdays and Tuesdays.

Our rating: Two stars

CAPTION(S):

photo photo, box

Photo:

``Big Brother 2'' contestants Nicole, left, Bunky and Sheryl relax in their updated digs as new SUV-owner Kent looks on.

Box: Watching? You'll pay (see text)