'Annan deserve to be in league' JOHN HILLCOAT.

CHILDBIRTH, what a doddle. I don't know why people make such a fuss over how tough it is.

On Tuesday night at 11.30 I watched partner Audrey give birth to our son Jack and I simply cruised it!

Our long-awaited arrival has been playing on my mind for the last few months.

But I was delighted when the wee man popped his head out to say "Hello."

Watching your kid being born is the most emotional experience ever and it reinforces how women are the superior race.

"Aye when they're sleeping," I hear you say.

Being a Third Division footballer and father in waiting is hard work due to the long distances that must be travelled.

There are also a lot of games coming up at this time of year.

And the thought of missing the birth of my second child because of a four-day camel ride to Elgin or the likes would stick in my throat forever.

You can't get further away than Annan and Berwick as the fixture list for my East Stirling outfit couldn't get any harder.

However, our gaffer Jim McInally has been different class over the last few weeks.

He has allowed me to drive to matches and he also gave me the week off training so I could spend more time with our new addition.

But the arrival of Jack hasn't been the only new experience I have encountered over the last week.

A journey down to Annan Athletic signalled a first for yours truly.

The arrival of the Dumfries side into the SFL has went down like a fly on a dirty nappy.

Everyone I have spoken to since they joined the big boys in the professional league have absolutely caned them.

"Big farmers", "hammer throwers" and "a glorified pub team" are just some of the derogatory names I have heard since Athletic hammered Cowdenbeath 4-1 on the first day of the season.

Annan's manager Harry Cairney had to work like a man possessed to make sure his squad were ready for the big kick-off.

Even my old Stenhousemuir team-mates weren't happy with the set-up after being the first senior team to play at Galabank stadium a fortnight ago.

My phone was red hot after their game against the enigma of Scottish football, with guys such as Craig McEwan telling me how horrible the place is.

But I'm a great believer in learning through experience and reserved judgment until I saw the place for myself.

And last Saturday morning my team-mates and I met at Strathclyde Park to travel to the land time forgot.

Our skipper Davie Nicholls jumped in my car for the journey and I downed 20 cans of Red Bull in the hope it would keep me awake.

Thoughts of guys playing the banjo were prominent in my mind as the bold Davie guided us in to the heart of the town.

We drove up to the stadium only to be told by a steward we had to park in the housing scheme 200 yards from the ground.

It didn't ease my mind and I feared the worst.

But a walk on to the plush surface and clean dressing-rooms was enough for me to come to the conclusion the negative press was unfounded.

Sure we had to breakdance under the showers to get wet after the game.

However, at least they were hot, unlike some other gaffs in the lower leagues of Scotland.

The only thing that annoyed me was the six-feet slope on the park because the lads needed hiking gear to get up its face in the first half.

But a cheeky chip by Colin Cramb in the first minute saw us hang on to the cliff's edge as we went in 1-0 up at the break.

Unfortunately disaster struck for this experienced keeper four minutes after the restart.

A needless and rash challenge at the feet of Annan striker Steve Archibald had me wishing the slope would open up and swallow me.

My stupidity changed the game.

I could feel the daggers being thrown from the loyal squad of Shire fans behind my goal.

No doubt they wondered what the hell made me Jitsu the lad to give away a penalty.

Well guys, it can only be described as a rush of blood to the bald dome and I apologise for spoiling your party.

The game finished in a 2-1 defeat and the walk from our goals down the hill to the dressing-room was like the death march.

I could feel the Grim Reaper staring at me from the stands because the consequences of making such a costly error always ends up in the guilty party taking the rap.

The gaffer was raging at everyone after the game.

I like his style of management when he goes round every individual giving them a summary of their performance.

This leaves no stone unturned and players are left with no grey areas.

But there is a long way to go in the title race and I just hope the three points we lost at Annan does not have a profound effect on the outcome.

If it does I will hold my hands up and hope the guys realise there's no place in football for the "I'm alright Jack" attitude.

I should know because my new-born son Jack is doing just fine.