`SOLDIER'S DAUGHTER' A WINNER.

Byline: Bob Strauss Daily News Film Critic

Functional families have problems, too. They just tend to handle them better.

That's the refreshing message of ``A Soldier's Daughter Never Cries,'' a movie that dares to suggest that love, communication and open-minded common sense may not be a formula for solving everything, but it beats the usual alternatives. The kind of quiet, observational film that director James Ivory often turns into cinematic starch unless it's set in an English manor house, ``Soldier's Daughter'' avoids tedium with an emphasis on youth and a ban on brittle characterizations.

The film is based on a semi-autobiographical novel by Kaylie Jones, the daughter of James Jones, the author of the classic World War II novels ``From Here to Eternity'' and ``The Thin Red Line,'' which has been made into a film set for a Christmas Day release. Mixed with some of Ivory's own ideas and memories (he shares script credit with Merchant-Ivory regular Ruth Prawer Jhabvala, who won a screenwriting Oscar for the outfit's ``Howards End''), ``Soldier's Daughter'' is a simple but always intriguing story about smart, privileged people leading eclectic yet earthy lives.

The story is divided into three segments; the first two are set in Paris in the 1960s, the last on the U.S. East Coast in the early '70s. In the first part, the fictional Willis family - crusty but affable father Bill (Kris Kristofferson), high-strung but fun mother Marcella (Barbara Hershey) and resentful, preteen daughter Channe (Luisa Conlon) - welcomes its new, 6-year-old adopted son, Benoit (Samuel Gruen), into their impressive Paris apartment.

The parents immediately lavish the boy with warmth while Channe, miffed at the prospect of competition, takes a much longer time to accept her new brother. The little French kid remains practically skeptical; he's so used to being shuttled between orphanages and foster homes, he keeps his tiny valise packed at all times. The main crisis of this section is whether Benoit's young mother will ultimately sign the adoption papers. The real drama, though, is in the children's discovery that they can allow themselves to love and be loved.

The second part takes place a few years later. Benoit has changed his name to Billy as an expression of trust in his American father, and the adolescent Channe (played for the rest of the movie by ``Deep Impact's'' Leelee Sobieski) has taken up with a flamboyant, effeminate school friend, Francis (Anthony Roth Costanzo). The platonic relationship is an intense, invigorating and intellectually stimulating one, but as Channe's hormones drive her toward more masculine boys, the friendship strains and cracks.

A few years later, Bill's failing health forces the family back to America. The older Billy, who is played by Jesse Bradford (Steven Soderbergh's ``King of the Hill''), responds sullenly to the new environment. Channe takes a different tack and soon develops a fast French girl's reputation among the high school boys.

The resulting ``facts of life'' discussion between father and daughter has got to be the smartest and sweetest ever filmed. Even if you've found the film a little slow and insignificant up to this point (the Merchant-Ivory house style may seem wan, but it's deceptively tenacious), you've got to be knocked out by this scene's straightforward elegance and wisdom - and by Kristofferson's best-ever screen moment.

But if ``Soldier's Daughter'' is a showcase for any of its uniformly fine actors, it's Sobieski's. Playing that rarest of movie creatures, a fundamentally sensible teen-age girl, she shines with accumulating intelligence through a vastly complex series of confusing discoveries and realizations. The young actress bears a remarkable physical resemblance to Helen Hunt; this movie indicates she also possesses a similar degree of talent.

A few things seem to be missing from the leisurely proceedings. You'd think such an intellectual, artistic family would be more engaged than is shown with the era's political issues - especially a war-obsessed nonconformist like Bill. The family also takes its moneyed comfort for granted; again, something smart people at least discussed, often with a sense of guilt, at the time.

But the focus here is family. And when you've got one as honestly wonderful as Kaylie Jones' Willises, it's satisfying enough just to spend some time with them at home.

THE FACTS

The film: ``A Soldier's Daughter Never Cries'' (R; language, substance abuse).

The stars: Leelee Sobieski, Kris Kristofferson, Barbara Hershey, Jesse Bradford.

Behind the scenes: Directed by James Ivory. Written by Ivory and Ruth Prawer Jhabvala, based on Kaylie Jones' novel. Produced by Ismail Merchant. Released by October Films.

Running time: Two hours, four minutes.

Playing: Westside Pavilion, West L.A.; Laemmle Sunset 5, West Hollywood; Cineplex Broadway, Santa Monica.

Our rating: Three and One Half Stars.

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Photo

Photo: Leelee Sobieski and Anthony Roth Costanzo play best friends in ``A Soldier's Daughter Never Cries.''