`SICKEST' SURFER LOOK AT ME: I'M HANGIN' TEN - ER, WALKING THE NOSE - WITH HOLLY BECK.Byline: STEVE DILBECK Yeah, I'm a surfer. It will be difficult breaking the news to all the hot young beach babes, who naturally will be flocking by my side now that I'm a master of the waves, that I'm a happily married man. A small price to pay for being - sorry, Karch Kiraly Charles Frederick Kiraly, better known as Karch Kiraly (born November 3, 1960 in Jackson, Michigan), is an American volleyball player who is the only person to have won Olympic gold medals in both the indoor and beach versions of the sport. - the new king of the beach. I am just so good. It all happened Tuesday, and you should have seen it, although I'm sure the networks will be replaying this historic beach event for generations to come. Just me and the board and the waves and surfer/model Holly Beck ... and this guy from the local newspaper who insisted on tagging along. Apparently, we were the only two members of the media smart enough to take up the U.S. Open The term U.S. Open is applied to "open" United States national championships in a particular sport, in which anybody, amateur or professional, American or non-American may compete. These include:
Now it should be mentioned that surfing and I had a short and bitter history. When I was about 13, my brother Mike invited me for a day of surfing at Bolsa Chica. Those were the days when the only surfboards available were at least 9 feet long. By some miracle of Neptune, I actually caught the first wave that rose behind me. Was sure it was hurling me through the Pacific about a zillion mph. Hung onto that board like it was an oversized o·ver·size n. 1. A size that is larger than usual. 2. An oversize article or object. adj. o·ver·size also o·ver·sized Larger in size than usual or necessary. life preserver life preserver, a personal flotation device (PFD) intended to keep the wearer afloat, particularly in case of shipwreck. A Type I PFD will keep even unconscious people afloat in a face–up position; it is the most common type used at sea. , which to me it was. Never did try to stand up. Swam ashore, presented the board back to my brother and retired as a surfer. Scarred for life, at least until Tuesday. What's life but overcoming our little fears? And who better to instruct me than Holly? Holly Beck, 24, does not fit the stereotype of surfers, other than she's blonde, blue-eyed, and - as we surfers like to say - a major hottie. She also was raised in the affluence of Palos Verdes Palos Verdes is often used to refer to a group of coastal cities on the Palos Verdes Peninsula in the Los Angeles/South Bay area of California. This affluent bedroom community is known for its dramatic views, good schools [1] extensive horse trails [2] , has a degree in psychology earned in three years at UC San Diego San Diego (săn dēā`gō), city (1990 pop. 1,110,549), seat of San Diego co., S Calif., on San Diego Bay; inc. 1850. San Diego includes the unincorporated communities of La Jolla and Spring Valley. Coronado is across the bay. and is articulate, particularly compared to the surfers who decree, as one did Tuesday, that the U.S. Open was ``the sickest contest around.'' She also is brave. Warned her of my surfing past, and she was undeterred. Said she'd been doing these one-day lessons at Huntington for six years and took Joe Piscopo Joseph Charles John "Joe" Piscopo (born June 17, 1951) is an American comedian and actor best known for his work on Saturday Night Live. Born in Passaic, New Jersey, Piscopo attended West Essex Regional High School and was a member of the drama club "the Masquers". out last year. Assured her I would be much funnier, drawing a skeptical eyebrow. At first glance, I might not look like the surfing god I have now become. I have a truly marvelous farmer's tan A "farmer's tan" is a specific type of tan line. The farmer's tan is usually started with a sun tan covering only the arms and neck. The farmer's tan is distinct in that the shoulders and back remain unaffected by the sun. . And there is that matter of that middle-aged spare-tire thing, which will be vanishing shortly, thanks to the amazing Tommy Lasorda
This is not the diet he made famous, and himself wealthier, pushing in the early `90s, but the one he scared me into in the Dodgers clubhouse the other day when he walked by and said: ``Jeez jeez interj. Used to express surprise or annoyance. [Alteration of Jesus1.] , Steve, you're starting to look like me.'' Been surviving on carrot juice and tofu tofu Soft, bland, custardlike food product made from soybeans. Believed to date from China's Han dynasty (206 BC–AD 220), tofu is today an important source of protein in the cuisines of East and Southeast Asia. ever since. Holly had myself and Dave Brooks, the guy from the local paper who insisted on being a third wheel, pick up a couple of soft-top boards which apparently are designed for beginners. Turns out Brooks lives in Huntington and has been surfing for two years. Owns his own rash guard A rash guard is a type of athletic shirt made of spandex and nylon or polyester. Rash guards are used for light coverage in warm to extreme summer temperatures for several watersports including surfing, scuba diving, snorkelling, wakeboarding, body surfing, body boarding, , which I was sure was against the spirit of the day. And his board had three fins and mine two, which seemed highly suspicious. Holly, the 2001 U.S. amateur champ who starred in the reality show ``Boarding House,'' gave us some very quick instructions, and out we went. Right there among the public and everything. Don't think all surfers have this problem, but every time a wave crashed over me, my swim trunks tried to introduce themselves to my ankles. Harnessed them back up as best I could. It was another perfect summer day at Surf City Surf City may refer to:
Quickly Holly deemed a wave just right for me and instructed me to get on the board. Who knew just getting on the dang thing would be so hard? I was still trying to find my perfect spot on the board when she gave me a push, and I was in the wave. In an instant, I was 13 again and hanging on for life. This time I wobbly made my way up. Pretty sure my eyes were open. Smooth it wasn't. But I did get up, for all of a nanosecond (1) One billionth of a second. Used to measure the speed of logic and memory chips, a nanosecond can be visualized by converting it to distance. In one nanosecond, electricity travels approximately a foot in a wire. . ``Small steps,'' Holly said. Hey, for me this was a major victory. Meanwhile, Brooks, the guy from the Huntington Beach Huntington Beach, city (1990 pop. 181,519), Orange co., S Calif., on the Pacific coast, across from Santa Catalina Island, in an oil-producing area; inc. 1909. It manufactures aerospace vehicles, aircraft parts, optical instruments, and heat transfer equipment. Independent who insisted on trying to talk to Holly and had an even tan, is getting up and riding a wave, the big showoff show·off n. 1. The act of showing off. 2. One who shows off. . I mean, the guy had his own rash guard. On my second wave, I apparently got the nose down too far and went tumbling head first. Was somewhere under the water, sand being introduced to places on my body it was never meant to go, when I felt a hard tug of the leash around my ankle attached to the board. Briefly thought if I remained down there, Holly would have to rescue me, but finally decided it best to come up for air. Asked her if she was worried about me, and she said: ``Nah, I was confident. Huntington Beach lifeguards are America's finest.'' The next wave I actually got up and rode for maybe two entire seconds. As I pulled back my board, a woman standing in waist-high water was frantically applauding. She was clearly stoked stoked adj. Slang 1. Exhilarated or excited. 2. Being or feeling high or intoxicated, especially from a drug. - and maybe 93. Have to start your fan base somewhere. For about an hour, Holly kept pushing me into waves, and I kept trying to get up. Pretty sure I might have hit three seconds once, but, you know, the waves were seldom gnarly (jargon) gnarly - /nar'lee/ Both obscure and hairy. "Yow! - the tuned assembler implementation of BitBlt is really gnarly!" From a similar but less specific usage in surfer slang. . ``I think your equipment is holding you back,'' Holly said, and I told you she was smart. One time I got up on the white foam of a wave and saw a young girl in the water standing in front of me. Not sure who was more frightened. Didn't know how to turn the board away from her, but by now I was an expert at falling off. After a few more rides, was going to start hanging ten - or walking the nose, as it's now called - but didn't want to push Holly's patience. At least I was no longer a complete hodad (fake surfer), now apparently called a jabroni. We started back to the media tent, and as I walked, board under an arm, passed a 10-year-old boy playing in the sand. I smiled and said: ``I'm a surfer.'' Like it wasn't obvious. Duke Kahanamoku, brought back to life. Tried to flash the ``hang loose'' hand sign to another obvious fan, but might have identified myself as a member of the Crips. Brooks, with his rash guard and even tan and third fin and 20 less years, insisted on conversing with Holly and taking her attention away from me. But she knew what I was thinking and later was in complete agreement: I was ready for the tour. ``Oh, absolutely,'' she said. ``The waves just weren't good today.'' So I'm off to buy a rash guard, a Corona and talk waves with my new brothers. I'm a surfer now. It's sick. CAPTION(S): 4 photos, box Photo: (1 -- 2 -- color) With the classic form you would expect from a surfing god, I ride the waves at Huntington Beach, above. Some waves, below, are too gnarly for any surfer. (3) A push from model/surfer Holly Beck, right, and I'm off, riding a wave and wowing all of my fans at Huntington Beach. (4) For beginner surfers - not necessarily me, mind you - climbing onto the board and standing up is half the battle. John Lazar/Staff Photographer Box: U.S. OPEN OF SURFING |
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