`SAMURAI' HAS LITTLE OF THE FIGHTING SPIRIT.

Byline: Bob Strauss Daily News Film Critic

In an alternate universe, where the Soviets have conquered America but collapsed anyway, the last bastion of freedom and glamour is a place in the Nevada desert called Lost Vegas. When the city's king dies, Elvis-impersonating martial artists cross the burning sands to compete for the crown in a royal battle of the bands. Of course, to get the chance, they have to survive a hostile landscape filled with ``Road Warrior'' rejects, Death himself and at least one cute-as-a-button little feral kid.

Sounds bad on paper; looks good but plays like a series of punch-drunk poses on the big screen. ``Six-String Samurai'' is a first feature from recent Loyola Marymount graduate Lance Mungia that had the makings of a fever dream but packs all the impact of a tepid bath.

Filmed in Death Valley without the budgets enjoyed by those Mel Gibson speed spectacles in the Australian outback, ``Samurai'' is understandably listless between fight scenes. But, although the film's pacing problems can be forgiven, its annoying mishmash of dusty pop-culture references reach an intolerability plateau about 10 minutes in. Naturally, they don't let up until the end.

Our hero is a guy with thick glasses named Buddy (like Holly, get it?). Played by American Kung Fu champion and Hong Kong action movie star Jeffrey Falcon, who also co-wrote the screenplay with Mungia, Buddy swings a mean sword and purportedly plays hot licks on his guitar. But he's usually too busy fighting off packs of barbarians, sitcom-inspired cannibal families and rival would-be kings to serenade us much.

Worse, Buddy seems most interested in making pompous statements about his prowess/destiny in hipster lingo so absurd he comes off about as cool as that finger-snappin', moon-headed guy in the McDonald's commercials.

There are also the matters of the Kid (Justin McGuire), a nonverbal, dirt-encrusted orphan who attaches himself to the reluctant warrior/guy-who-needs-a-better-act and always requires rescuing. And then there's Death (Stephane Gauger), who, with his murderous minions, stalks Buddy's trail for supernatural reasons that, like the rest of this sun-blasted narrative, make slim sense.

The fight sequences are fairly well-staged in a Sergio-Leone-tries-Prozac kind of way. They're self-consciously ironic to a fault, but they generally possess enough zing to at least break up the boredom of wandering through the desert with a guy who's too enamored of his own, bizarro saviorhood - led by a director who thinks any kitschy idea that pops into his head somehow deserves to be immortalized on screen, whether it belongs there or not.

But then, maybe anything goes in a movie about sword-swinging, post-apocalyptic Elvises in desperate need of baths. Though he may have a knack for parched, junkyard imagery, judicious selection of material is not one of Mungia's strengths.

THE FACTS

The film: ``Six-String Samurai'' (PG-13; violence, language).

The stars: Jeffrey Falcon, Justin McGuire, Stephane Gauger.

Behind the scenes: Directed by Lance Mungia. Written by Mungia and Jeffrey Falcon. Produced by Michael Burns and Leanna Creel. Released by Palm Pictures.

Running time: One hour, 30 minutes

Playing: Mann Westwood; Sunset 5, West Hollywood; AMC, Santa Monica; Avant-Garde, Hermosa Beach.

Our rating: Two Stars.

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Photo

Photo: Buddy (Jeffrey Falcon) pushes the Kid (Justin McGuire) through the desert in ``Six-String Samurai.''