`RED WAS A CHILD. ... HE NEVER GREW UP.'; EX-TV WRITER, CO-WORKER TIPS HAT TO CLOWN.

Byline: Dennis McCarthy 

My old pal Will Fowler was out and around the Valley on Wednesday celebrating his 75th birthday when word caught up with him that Red Skelton had died.

Will was one of Skelton's TV writers back in 1953 and '54, after he quit the newspaper business and went legitimate.

``Red was a child,'' Will recalled. ``That's why he was such a great clown. He never grew up.

``Back then, we did 39 shows a year. TV was new and people thrived on it, staying at home a lot more to watch week after week. There were no summer reruns and long breaks. It was hard work.

``We shot live kinescope, which meant we shot the show live with a camera, to be shown later on the air in its scheduled time slot,'' Will said. ``There were no retakes. If something went wrong, you'd have to start the skit all over again.

``On one show, I had Red doing a skit in a telephone booth. Halfway through, he's supposed to take off his jacket because it's hot. Well, he made some mistake in the dialogue, and we had to start the skit all over again.

``But Red went back in the booth without putting his jacket on, so he wouldn't have been able to take one off halfway through the skit. I was sitting out in the audience, and I yelled at him, `Put your jacket on.'

``Everything was so new, we were all flying by the seat of our pants back then,'' Will said.

``You know, those old shows were never replayed on TV. Red kept them all for himself. It was in his contract that they would not be shown in rerun. I don't know why.

``Now that he's gone, I wonder what will happen. It would be wonderful if the kids today had the chance to see for themselves the comic genius of the man.''

Yes, it would. Just one night, it would be more than wonderful to turn on your TV set and have this prime-time lineup coming at you again in black and white.

``The Jackie Gleason Show.'' ``The Jack Benny Show.'' ``The Milton Berle Show.'' ``The Steve Allen Show.'' ``The Red Skelton Show.''

You'd get more laughs out of these great shows in one night than you'd get in a month's worth of watching most of the canned sitcoms that pass for comedy today.

The San Fernando Valley's seniors are being hit hard with two new schemes, warned Officer Ron Gould of the Los Angeles Police Department's Gray Squad.

``Unsolicited calls are being made to seniors to find out what company they retired from,'' Gould said. ``Once they know the company, they tell the senior that they're calling for an attorney who is suing that same company and has a class action suit pending.

``Their records show that the senior is owed $3,500 or whatever other figure they want to use. They offer the senior an opportunity to get the money owed them, but the senior needs to send a retainer fee for the attorney right now. It's usually about $300.

``They always call late in the day or on weekends so the senior is unable to verify the information,'' Gould said.

The other scheme is one I have mentioned in the column before, but it continues to be one of the most successful for con artists. They knock on a senior's door and say they used to live down the street as a kid, and play with the senior's kids.

They'll ask, `You remember me, don't you?'' Too embarrassed to say no, many seniors pretend to remember them. The person then cons his or her way into the house, and asks for a drink of water or permission to use the bathroom.

When they're out of sight, they quickly ransack the senior's bedroom of whatever jewelry and money they can find.

Neither scheme would work if seniors would only remember not to let strangers into their homes, or fall prey to high-pressure tactics over the phone, Gould said.

And finally, 10 long-term care patients at the Canoga Care Center in Canoga Park got a nice surprise this week when the staff there treated them to a day at Disneyland.

The workers raised most of the $700 needed for the day's outing by holding bake and clothing sales. Vans to transport the patients, and five emergency medical technicians to accompany them, were provided by the American Medical Response Ambulance Co. and BioPac Labs.

``We just thought it would be nice to get some of our long-term care patients out of the facility for a day to have some fun, and get a change in their environment,'' said Virginia Garcia, activity director.

Two of those residents were Mary Cimarossa and Virginia Brown, both patients at the center for more than two years.

``It was such a surprise, and we had a great time,'' Brown said. ``The staff didn't have to do something like this for us, but they did. I think that says something about this place.''

It does. Something we don't usually hear coming out of senior care facilities where the news is too often about poor care and abusive conditions.

Not this time.