`MY GIANT' STOOPS TO SENTIMENTALITY.

Byline: Glenn Whipp Daily News Film Critic

Billy Crystal is the Oscar funny man, a comedian who injects life into the film world's annual self-congratulatory snooze fest. But give Crystal a hand in making a movie and he usually looks inward and becomes more than a little gooey while doing so.

Crystal's latest sentimental journey is ``My Giant,'' where he plays a third-rate agent who learns what's really important in life after he meets a 7-foot-7 Romanian string bean. The movie imparts the same lesson found in earlier Crystal pictures like the ``City Slickers'' films and ``Forget Paris,'' namely: You can find all the success you need in life right at home. So stay there.

Home is the last thing on talent agent Sammy's mind. He's too busy lining up his clients with gigs at weddings and auto shows. Sammy thinks he has found his big ticket with a teen star, but when he arrives on location in Romania to visit the brat, he's summarily fired.

Through an odd twist of fate (is there any other kind?), Sammy meets Max (Gheorghe Muresan), a giant, Shakespeare-quoting caretaker who lives in a monastery. Max is smart, gentle and a deep thinker who can speak five languages. But Sammy only sees a big man who could make him - a little man - huge in the eyes of others, namely his estranged wife (Kathleen Quinlan) and son (Zane Carey).

From here, ``My Giant'' evolves into a road movie, with Sammy and Max coming to America to fulfill their dreams. Max wants to reunite with his first love, who has emigrated to Gallop, N.M., or ``Galoop'' as Max pronounces it. Sammy wants to put Max in a Steven Seagal picture. Since Max is new to America and the film world, he doesn't know any better.

The movie has a few obvious sight gags featuring Muresan, a real-life basketball player, and the diminutive Crystal, but, curiously, ``My Giant'' delivers few solid laughs. Director Michael Lehmann (``The Truth About Cats and Dogs'') never quite achieves the right balance between humor and poignancy, leaving the movie in a queasy no-man's land.

``My Giant'' certainly has its heart in the right place. Muresan, in his first film, gives a surprisingly warm and moving performance as the lonely giant, although he occasionally struggles with his English phrasings. Seagal also shines in a cameo, sending up his image as a macho, petulant, dimwit action star. (That was a send-up, right?)

But Crystal's smarmy agent never invites the needed sympathy, partially because the script wastes a lot of time with needless exposition and takes much too long to begin Sammy's character rehabilitation. There's drippy sentimentality at every turn, but too often it comes across as cloying instead of moving.

In that respect, the film comes off as a pale imitation of the original ``City Slickers'' with the self-involved lead character leaving home to find himself. Only instead of bringing home a cute little calf, this time Crystal brings home a great big Romanian.

THE FACTS

The film: ``My Giant'' (PG; language, mild violence brief crude humor).

The stars: Billy Crystal, Gheorghe Muresan, Kathleen Quinlan, Zane Carney, Steven Seagal.

Behind the scenes: Directed by Michael Lehmann. Written by David Seltzer. Released by Castle Rock Entertainment.

Running time: One hour, 43 minutes.

Playing: Citywide.

Our rating: Two Stars.

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Photo

Photo: Billy Crystal plays a talent agent who sets his sights high in ``My Giant,'' co-starring basketball player Gheorghe Muresan.