`MISS MANNERS' BOOK POINTING OUT RUDE BEHAVIOR IN OTHERS? HOW RUDE!Miss Manners is caught in a conundrum conundrum A problem with no satisfactory solution; a dilemma of her own device. According to according to prep. 1. As stated or indicated by; on the authority of: according to historians. 2. In keeping with: according to instructions. 3. the syndicated columnist Inc.com defines a syndicated columnist as, "[A] person hired by publications or broadcast organizations to produce written or spoken commentary about specific feature subjects. , whose real name is Judith Martin Judith Martin (born Judith Perlman on September 13 1938), better known by the pen name Miss Manners, is an American journalist, author, and etiquette authority. , civility is eroding in our society at an alarming rate. And, it is this rampant rudeness that is at the root of such social evils as drive-by shootings and hate crimes. But, alas, correcting America's etiquette crisis is exceedingly difficult, even for one as deeply committed to the cause as Martin. You see, pointing out someone's rude behavior is rude, and, by Martin's own rules, simply should not be done. Such a pickle. Martin's thoughts on rudeness are collected in a new book, ``Miss Manners Rescues Civilization'' (Crown Publishers; $30), a 488-page opus that tackles everything from sexual harassment sexual harassment, in law, verbal or physical behavior of a sexual nature, aimed at a particular person or group of people, especially in the workplace or in academic or other institutional settings, that is actionable, as in tort or under equal-opportunity statutes. to frivolous lawsuits. In a telephone interview to promote the book, Martin said she wrote the tome to explain just what constitutes etiquette. She's also declared this week ``National Civility Week.'' ``The reason I'm doing this now is that suddenly everyone is calling for civility,'' she said. Martin cited a U.S. News and World Report poll that found nine out of 10 Americans worried about incivility in·ci·vil·i·ty n. pl. in·ci·vil·i·ties 1. The quality or condition of being uncivil. 2. An uncivil or discourteous act. . ``It's a big election issue. You hear talk of civility everywhere.'' The problem, she said, is that many do not understand the basic principle of proper behavior: Treat others as you wish to be treated. ``Civility doesn't work if everyone is polite to you and you are rude to them,'' Martin points out. ``The way you correct the behavior of society is by behaving well yourself. If you go around villifying other people for being rude, you are ruder than they are.'' CAPTION(S): Photo Photo: Judith Martin: ``The way you correct the behavior of society is by behaving well yourself.'' |
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