`KISS GOODNIGHT' LONG ON ACTION, SHORT ON PLOT.

Byline: Bob Strauss Daily News Film Critic

As loud, ludicrous, sadistic action movies go, ``The Long Kiss Goodnight'' at least does it with brio and style. Toss in two well-wrought star performances, and you've got two hours of spectacularly adequate, thought-free entertainment.

New Line Cinema paid Shane Black $4 million for this thing's approximation of a script. It then hired happy couple Renny Harlin (``Cliffhanger'') and Geena Davis (``The Fly,'' ``Thelma & Louise'') to, respectively, direct and headline the movie. Between that deal and this film's completion, the Harlins unleashed ``Cutthroat Island'' on the world. The good news is that they do much better with snow and ice than they do in water, which should hardly be a surprise. Ice explodes more interestingly.

Set during a particularly white, northeastern Christmas, the plot involves a sweet, brunet single mom who, unbeknownst to her, used to be a wicked, blond superassassin for some generic covert government agency. After hitting a deer with her car, Samantha Caine starts flashing back on repressed recollections of her life as Charly Baltimore (Black's fee, I guess, did not cover the part that explains why and how she lost her memory). Along with this comes impressive new skills with kitchen utensils, which come in handy when some psycho guy drops by to dismember her.

He won't be the first. Samantha/Charly is soon on the run from her old bosses and her old enemies, burning up the snow tires with Mitch Henessey, a hard-luck private eye she's probably sorry she hired to investigate her lost years. Lucky for her, though, he's played by Samuel L. Jackson, so she can enjoy a lot of well-delivered, sassy banter on those long winter drives between firefights.

Amusingly enough, Mitch becomes the damsel-in-distress partner as more of murderous Charly emerges. The poor guy gets tied up, beaten to a pulp and blasted out of buildings with alarming regularity. Which is not to say that Geena's schizoid heroine gets off easy; she's dunked, dreadfully damaged and left for dead a whole bunch of times, often in little more than a soaked, clinging tank top.

Harlin actually stages some incredible stunts; they get more impressive as they grow more preposterous. And Davis and Jackson, perhaps to prevent themselves from freezing to death, work feverishly to convince us that they're having a good time. Many of Black's overpriced lines could not possibly have been fun to say, though - even actors who agree to make a movie like ``The Long Kiss Goodnight'' must still have some threshold of shame.

But there is something to be said for shameless nasty thrills, too, and this movie delivers a long, wet load of them. It's the cinematic equivalent of a good make-out session with somebody you don't respect.

THE FACTS

The film: ``The Long Kiss Goodnight'' (R; violence, language, nudity).

The stars: Geena Davis, Samuel L. Jackson, Patrick Malahide, Craig Berko.

Behind the scenes: Directed by Renny Harlin. Written by Shane Black. Produced by Harlin, Black and Stephanie Austin. Released by New Line Cinema.

Running time: Two hours.

Playing: Citywide.

Our rating: Three Stars.

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Photo

Photo: Geena Davis' and Samuel L. Jackson's characters getmore than they bargained for in ``The Long Kiss Goodnight.''