`HOLY MAN' CAN'T DELIVER GOODS.Byline: Glenn Whipp Daily News Film Critic When I saw the trailer for the schmaltzy schmaltz·y also schmalz·y adj. schmaltz·i·er, schmaltz·i·est Informal Of, relating to, or marked by excessive or maudlin sentimentality. See Synonyms at sentimental. new stink bomb ``Holy Man,'' I had a bad feeling. Here's why: When a commercial has to show the same gag twice in a 30-second spot - and a stupid joke at that - it's a certain sign that there's a paucity of material. My fears were confirmed when I sat through this near two-hour endurance test endurance test n → prueba de resistencia endurance test n → test m d'endurance endurance test endurance n , a movie that makes a major case for the necessity of truth in advertising. ``Holy Man'' is billed as an Eddie Murphy Edward "Eddie" Regan Murphy (born April 3, 1961) is an Academy Award nominated, Golden Globe Award-winning American actor and comedian. He was a regular cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1980 to 1984, and has worked as a stand-up comedian. movie, but we see more of Jeff Goldblum Jeffrey Lynn Goldblum (born October 22, 1952) is an Academy-Award nominated American actor. He often portrays quirky, intense or eccentric characters. He is also known for his distinctive appearance and his unique, staccato delivery of lines. At 6 feet 4 ½ inches (1. than Murphy. It's also advertised as a comedy, but director Stephen Herek pours on the syrupy sweet hokum so thick that you leave the theater with a bad case of brain decay. A jumbled mess of conflicting messages, ``Holy Man'' means to take both a comic and thoughtful look at Americans' shop-till-you-drop mentality. Goldblum plays Ricky, a self-absorbed executive at the Good Buy Shopping Network, a television channel that hawks QVC-reject merchandise. Sales are down and the loudmouth network owner (Robert Loggia loggia Hall, gallery, or porch open to the air on one or more sides. It evolved in the Mediterranean region as an open sitting room with protection from the sun. It is often a roofed, arcaded open gallery on an upper story overlooking a court, though it can also be a ) brings in a media analyst, Kate, (Kelly Preston) to fix things. Ricky and Kate don't have much luck until they meet the beatific be·a·tif·ic adj. Showing or producing exalted joy or blessedness: a beatific smile. [Latin be G (Murphy), a pajama-clad pilgrim wandering the causeways of Miami. G has a natural aptitude for sales and he's soon pitching ceramics and chain saws on Good Buy, mixing in hokey hok·ey adj. hok·i·er, hok·i·est Slang 1. Mawkishly sentimental; corny. 2. Noticeably contrived; artificial. hok spiritual platitudes for good measure. Sales skyrocket, Kate and Ricky suddenly turn into nice people, and buyers learn that a spoonful of Chopra-esque sentiments helps ease the pain of ballooning credit bills. This is Hollywood at its hollowest. At one point, Kate tells Ricky, ``I'm beginning to think of you as a real person.'' That's a howler. ``Holy Man'' doesn't contain one true note or believable character. Herek's ham-fisted direction of Tom Schulman's trite script orchestrates every moment, and if you're not sure how you're supposed to feel, Alan Silvestri's cloying score will nudge you (with the gentle force of an electric cattle prod) right along. The film has a few funny moments amid the many missed opportunities - a couple of which actually aren't in the trailer. Seeing the subdued Murphy wreaking havoc at the Good Buy Network is good fun. But G's insipid spirituality is so cliched cli·chéd also cliched adj. Having become stale or commonplace through overuse; hackneyed: "In the States, it might seem a little clichéd; in Paris, it seems fresh and original" that only a studio executive could consider it profound. Goldblum's gift for obsequiousness ob·se·qui·ous adj. Full of or exhibiting servile compliance; fawning. [Middle English, from Latin obsequi makes him perfect for his role, but the material sells him short. The film's final image did have some resonance for me - unintentionally, of course. We see G walking off into the sunset and then bending down to kiss the earth. After spending two hours trapped to this toothless movie, I did the same thing on my way out of the theater. THE FACTS The film: ``Holy Man'' (PG; language). The stars: Eddie Murphy, Jeff Goldblum, Kelly Preston. Behind the scenes: Directed by Stephen Herek. Screenplay by Tom Schulman. Released by Touchstone Pictures. Running time: One hour, 53 minutes. Playing: Citywide. Our rating: One star. CAPTION(S): Photo Photo: The owner of a TV shopping network run by Ricky Hayman (Jeff Goldblum, center) turns to a consultant (Kelly Preston) and a wanderer (Eddie Murphy) to improve the network's fortunes in ``Holy Man.'' |
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