`GIRL THING' COULD USE A MORE GROWN-UP TOUCH.

Byline: David Kronke TV Critic

A glance at the acting talent assembled for the Showtime miniseries ``A Girl Thing'' - Stockard Channing, Allison Janney, Mia Farrow, Camryn Manheim, Lynn Whitfield, Rebecca De Mornay, Kate Capshaw, Glenne Headley, and we're just getting warmed up - would suggest that the material must be pretty strong.

Alas, the film - written and directed by Lee Rose (Lifetime's ``The Truth About Jane'') - scarcely justifies such a stellar cast. It's an earnestly talky, even preachy, affair, filled with some pretty perfunctory female-empowerment moments and so-so comedy. Nonetheless, the opportunity to see these actresses mixing it up with one another keeps it watchable.

``A Girl Thing'' is an anthology of four stories centering around the patients of psychiatrist Dr. Beth Noonan (Channing), who ends each story by giving notes into her tape recorder. Basically, she rather baldly explains to us just what we've seen - ``For one brief moment, she lived,'' ``I guess there are such things as happy endings,'' ``Her heart, though bruised, will heal'' - as if we're not quite clever enough to figure these things out for ourselves.

Tonight's stories (the film concludes Jan. 27) feature the obligatory lesbian story and a seriocomic tale of bickering siblings titled ``The Three Sisters'' (not to be confused with NBC's watery new sitcom, which itself is not confused with Chekhov). The first concerns an icy control freak (Elle MacPherson) who is surprised and even dismayed when she finds herself attracted to another woman (Capshaw).

They spend more time deconstructing their relationship than actually having it, though the film offers a fairly explicit lovemaking scene. MacPherson plays her character as so cold and uninteresting that it's difficult to see, physical attributes aside, why anyone would want to have anything to do with her. Capshaw, on the other hand, essays her free-spirited character most capably.

Tonight's second vignette offers the comic highlight of the miniseries, featuring Janney, Headley and De Mornay as sisters who are reunited - quite unwillingly - under one roof under the terms of their recently deceased mother's will, whose wish from the grave is that they reconcile their differences. Janney and Headley go head to head and toe to toe, yet the reasons for their ingrained spite go essentially unexplained. For all their verbal and physical one-upmanship, the actresses are clearly having more fun than viewers probably will.

Next week, Whitfield shines in an emotional turn as a woman who suspects her husband (Scott Bakula) is having an affair and hires Rachel (Linda Hamilton) to confirm her worst fears. Eventually, they team with his mistress (Farrow) to teach the lout a you-go-girl lesson that ultimately rings hollow. The film concludes with a far-fetched scenario in which a troubled patient (Manheim, who pours a lot of compelling conviction into some icky scripting) takes Noonan, her assistant, a patient and her coffee-klatch chum hostage.

Some women may find solace or comfort from these minor dramas. Others may wish Rose had created less schematic characters than the wronged spouse, the ice princess, the earnest single mother, the distraught sisters, the bored supermodel and the unhinged loser (and why, besides the fact that men are no damn good, do they all need a shrink?). Noonan's assistant may enjoy watching ``Jerry Springer,'' but ``A Girl Thing'' more closely approximates ``Oprah'' in its easy speechifying. It strands a lot of great actors in search of material more befitting their talents.

``A GIRL THING''

What: Anthology miniseries with stories focusing on women's concerns.

The stars: Kate Capshaw, Stockard Channing, Rebecca De Mornay, Mia Farrow, Irma P. Hall, Linda Hamilton, Glenne Headley, Allison Janney, Elle MacPherson, Camryn Manheim, Lynn Whitfield, Peta Wilson, Scott Bakula.

Where: Showtime.

When: 8 tonight and Jan. 27

Our rating: Two and one half stars

CAPTION(S):

2 photos

Photo:

(1) Elle MacPherson, left, and Kate Capshaw explore a lesbian relationship in Showtime's anthology series ``A Girl Thing.''

(2) Allison Janney, left, Rebecca DeMornay and Glenne Headly star as three sisters who are unwillingly reunited to please their late mother in tonight's episode of ``A Girl Thing.''