`CLERKS II' PAIRS VULGARITY WITH INSIGHT.

Byline: Bob Strauss Film Critic

When it comes to immature gross-out movies, Rob Schneider is just a gigolo, the Wayanses are but little men, and Jack Black is more soggy nacho than macho.

They are all mere girly boys in the presence of arrested development's big man, Kevin Smith. The writer-director's latest, ``Clerks II,'' harks back to the New Jersey sage's first no-budget, black-and-white comedy. It is filthier. And funnier. And -- the thing that really separates Smith from all the lesser slob comedy talents -- a whole lot smarter.

I could hardly believe some of the topics of conversation that flew around Mooby's, the fast-food outlet of the damned where Dante and Randal (original clerks Brian O'Halloran and Jeff Anderson) find themselves employed after their behated Quick Stop catches on fire. Most of this brilliant sewage comes out of the mouth of the still-uncivilized Randal and cannot be described in a publication with readers of all ages and respect for all groups of people. I don't know what our policy on animal rights is, but believe me, if we have one, this movie is an affront to it as well.

Anyway, the saving grace of all this rude nonsense is that it's written really well, it's very funny, and it addresses the concerns that trouble young men's minds. Or, in this case, some not-so-young-anymore men's so-called minds. The upshot is, the dialogue is consistently, frighteningly real.

There's a bit of a plot, too. It's Dante's last day at the cholesterol corral. He's about to marry Emma (Jennifer Schwalbach, Smith's real-life wife) and move to respectable middle- class pasture in Florida. Though he's too manly to show it, Randal is devastated by the thought of losing the only person who can put up with him. While engineering Dante's inconceivably vulgar going-away party, Randal is trying to talk his more responsible pal into staying.

Nothing Randal does is going to turn that trick, though. That's up to Becky (Rosario Dawson), Mooby's free-spirited manager, who one drunken night gave Dante a thrill on the fryer.

But enough story. ``Clerks II'' is mostly about humiliating encounters with customers (Smith favorites Ben Affleck and Jason Lee make obnoxious cameo appearances), the parking lot depravities of Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes and Smith, as always) and torturing the nerdy youngest kitchen slave, Elias (Trevor Ferhman), who suffers the exploitable dual weaknesses of being into Jesus and the Transformers.

``Clerks II'' is as insightful a comedy about reluctantly growing up in modern-day America as you're likely to see this year. Attend it with your best friend from childhood, even if his name's Dupree.

Bob Strauss, [phone]

bob.strauss(at)dailynews.com

CLERKS II - Three stars

(R: language, nudity, sex, drug use, racism, donkeys in jeopardy)

Starring: Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Rosario Dawson, Trevor Fehrman, Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Jennifer Schwalbach.

Director: Kevin Smith.

Running time: 1 hr. 38 min.

Playing: In wide release.

In a nutshell: Hilariously dirty return of Kevin Smith's first pair of slacker heroes. There is some real character development -- and some jokes that even the most open-minded viewer is sure to be offended by. But it's all in good -- and unusually smart -- fun.

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Photo:

Jason Mewes, left, and Kevin Smith are back as Jay and Silent Bob in ``Clerks II,'' where they deal with Jay's newfound religious conviction.