`BONE' JUST A SKELETON FOR SHELTON.

Byline: Bob Strauss Film Critic

``Play It to the Bone'' plays like a bare-bones knockoff of a Ron Shelton sports comedy. There are the usual loser-ish but devoted athletes, eccentrically sexy women and verbal gymnastics we associate with Shelton's smart, soulful entertainments ``Bull Durham,'' ``White Men Can't Jump'' and ``Tin Cup.'' But in this round, the athletes and the women are quirk collections rather than characters, and the dialogue has no punch.

Yes, this one's a boxing movie at its climax, anyway. Much too much of the film's running time is devoted to a bloodless road trip from L.A. to Vegas, with the principals yakking it up to no real comic or revelatory effect in a nausea-green, classic muscle car. There are a handful of choice exchanges during this hour-plus event, but the overall effect is not just one of wasted celluloid, but wasted gas as well.

Cesar Dominguez (Antonio Banderas) and Vince Boudreau (Woody Harrelson) are two past-their-prime never-weres who still spar religiously at an East L.A. gym. When the undercard contenders for a Mike Tyson match turn up A) blitzed-out on drugs and B) dead the morning of the big fight, desperate promoters Joe Domino (Tom Sizemore, obviously sleazy) and Hank Goody (Robert Wagner, sophisticatedly so), offer our two mooks the opening matchup if they can get to the Strip on time.

For reasons that are never made clear nor, for that matter, exploited for even the most elementary comic complications the good buddies refuse plane tickets and get independent gal Grace (Lolita Davidovich) to chauffeur them through the desert to Vegas. Along the way, we learn that Grace used to date Vince and, after ``three good months'' of a half-year relationship, has abruptly grown tired of Cesar. She still cares a lot about them both, however, and tries to support each guy as he approaches his last big underpaid shot.

We also discover that the foul-mouthed Vince has been having visions of Jesus lately and that Cesar, during a down period following a botched shot at Madison Square Garden, experimented with homosexuality. That's about the extent of their character specifics; but these two are positively Chekhovian in comparison to the nasty little party animal Lia (``Ally McBeal's'' Lucy Liu) they pick up halfway through the trip. She's there primarily to provide sexual recreation for Vince and get in fights with Grace.

Once we finally make it to Mandalay Bay, things perk up a little. There's some by-the-numbers stuff we already knew about how promoters exploit fighters. But once Vince and Cesar enter the ring, Shelton does a creditable job of mixing straightforward fight footage with the kind of slo-mo mythologizing stuff that's been a boxing-movie cliche since the first ``Rocky.'' It's a long, punishing sequence that rings pretty true, and that at least is mercifully light on bad dialogue, if not on pointless celebrity cameos.

You can't really call the film's three lead performances bad; Banderas, especially, displays some fine moves. There just isn't anything clever or insightful on the page for them to make much out of, no matter how hard they try.

The kids have heart and they give it all they've got. But ``Play It to the Bone'' stumbles early and never really recovers.

The facts

The film: ``Play It to the Bone'' (R; nudity, sex, language, drug use, boxing violence).

The stars: Antonio Banderas, Woody Harrelson, Lolita Davidovich, Lucy Liu, Tom Sizemore, Robert Wagner.

Behind the scenes: Written and directed by Ron Shelton. Produced by Stephen Chin. Released by Touchstone Pictures.

Running time: Two hours, four minutes.

Playing: Opens Christmas Day at United Artists Westwood.

Our rating: Two stars

CAPTION(S):

Photo

PHOTO Cesar Dominguez (Antonio Banderas, left) finally makes it to a Vegas undercard with close friend and boxing opponent Vince Boudreau (Woody Harrelson) in Ron Shelton's ``Play It to the Bone.''