`BEST D--- SPORTS SHOW' ADS TASTELESS, PERIOD.

Byline: STEVE DILBECK

This doesn't seem like much to ask. That a father can still sit down with his young son and watch baseball on TV. Share the love of the game, build a lasting memory, bond with eyes still bright with wonder.

Without having to cover those eyes during commercial breaks.

That we can sit together and marvel at Shawn Green's recent surge or the gritty play of Darin Erstad without feeling like we've slipped into an R-rated flick during commercial spots.

Fox Sports Net won't let it happen.

Fox executives don't care about bombarding the young with completely inappropriate images and messages. They promote the ``Best Damn Sports Show, Period'' ad nauseam during telecasts of Dodgers and Angels games with commercials aimed at their precious demographic - puerile males - and if the innocent are exposed, too bad.

Or perhaps you're a parent who's had the good fortune of missing these oversexed spots, one of which feature previews of Tom Arnold's bachelor party, with a stripper jumping out of a cake, facing away from the camera, and removing her top. Or Arnold in a hot tub with a naked young woman, her breasts blurred out.

Then there is Leeann Tweeden's Frederick's of Hollywood sports-trivia promotion, featuring Tweeden in skippy lingerie. And the promo to date a professional cheerleader. And John Kruk running down a hall naked.

There are buxom women spilling out of the thinnest of bikinis throughout the commercials. They could not promote this show without a bikini.

There are women in a car motioning to the ogling Arnold crew with a come-hither look that would put Pamela Anderson to shame.

And then there is the incessant shot of Arnold at the beach, buried in the sand with only his head and arms exposed. This delicate little piece has the sand beneath his neck carved into the shape of an overly curvaceous woman - in a bikini, naturally. Arnold flashes his fatuous grin ... while rubbing his sandy nipples.

Enough.

We're just trying to watch a simple baseball game, not late-night sleaze. My sons are 10, 8 and 6 years of age. After one of this show's spots ran during a Dodgers game last week, my 8-year-old turned to me bewildered.

``That's disgusting,'' he said.

Yes, it is. It's disgusting that a shameless Fox constantly would air a commercial aimed at selling sex as a pretext for an alleged sports talk show while children watch. And it is disappointing that the Dodgers and Angels would allow it to continue.

Not that this is exclusive to the Los Angeles area. Fox holds the local rights to 25 of baseball's 30 clubs. The ``Best Damn Sports Show'' is a national program, and these commercials run throughout the day all over the country.

And all over the country, parents are having to decide whether to permit their children watch their local team because of offensive commercials.

``It is not our intention to offend anyone with these commercials, but I can see where it can be taken as offensive as a parent,'' Fox Sports Net spokesman Dennis Johnson said.

``However, they are aimed at our target audience, which is men 18-34. There's extreme competition to reach this audience and our promos are designed to target this demographic.''

It doesn't matter if children are exposed to Arnold rubbing his sandy nipples in the process. They've got a show to sell.

The show itself is a whole other matter. Apparently there is a healthy audience for throwing a group of physically mature men together around a couple of couches and have them act like a bunch of teen-agers at a frat pledge party.

The show is all bathroom humor, a sleazy, juvenile approach that only makes it the apogee of a network that specializes in trash TV.

The very title of the show makes it a problem. Most parents don't allow their children to use cuss words. Team announcers Vin Scully and Steve Physioc won't even say the name of the show on the air.

But the issue here isn't the show itself. Parents can exercise some control over what shows their children view. The problem is simply trying to watch a ballgame as family, a rite of passage in this country that shouldn't be invaded by tasteless, testosterone-induced commercials.

Teams sell rights, not the advertising, to their broadcasts. That's their out on this.

``It's not something we're going to promote, but we don't control it,'' Angels vice president of communications Tim Mead said.

``Talking as a parent, I would probably blanch with some concern if I'm sitting there with an 8-year-old son.''

As an organization, Mead said the Angels were unaware of the commercials, even though they have been running in some form for weeks. Arnold's bachelor party finally ran Friday, but rest assured, more lewd promos are to come.

Though a team cannot tell the network what ads to run, Mead said the Angels did complain previously when it ran promos that featured ``Matt the Stall Guy'' interviewing while the daily duty was supposedly transpiring. That promo ultimately was pulled.

Derrick Hall, Dodgers senior vice president of communications, said the Dodgers also had complained of ads for Jack Daniels, and Fox responded with a national mandate that no hard-liquor ads would run until after 9 p.m.

``Ultimately it is their decision, but when we come across commercials we feel are risque or not suitable for families, we make our feelings known to our rights holders,'' Hall said.

``We would not consider that a family-suitable commercial. We've made it clear we prefer commercials for our entire audience, which is inclusive of all ages.''

Hall said late this week he complained about the commercials to a Fox Sports Net executive.

Let's hope that's only the beginning. What we need here is some widespread moral outrage. I don't blush easily. This isn't normally my area, but it's amazing how parenting can bridge those from diverse backgrounds.

As we quickly learn, they are not children long. The pitter-patter down the hall soon becomes footsteps away from home. We're not interested in being overly protective. We only want them to be children while they can.

We just want common sense, a little common decency for the innocent. We want to be able to watch a ballgame with our kid. It doesn't seem like much to ask.