``FEROCIOUS'' FERNANDO VARGAS PAIN, THEN GAIN VARGAS' LOSS TO TRINIDAD WORKS TO HIS ADVANTAGE.

Byline: Michael Rosenthal Assistant Sports Editor 

EL PASO, Texas - Fernando Vargas had lingering doubts about how he was perceived when he arrived at El Paso International Airport for his bout against Wilfredo Rivera on Saturday night.

When he disembarked from the plane, more than 200 starry-eyed fans in this boxing-crazed town greeted him with unfettered admiration and affection. He was overwhelmed.

In a way, such a reception didn't make sense to him. He'd just been badly beaten by Felix Trinidad in an entertaining but one-sided fight in December - his first professional defeat - and he feared rejection.

That he has been embraced was only one revelation that turned a bitter disappointment into a learning experience that has helped this perceptive young man move on as a person and a fighter.

``I've been able to deal with this,'' he said, ``I've learned and now I'm going forward. I think I've bettered myself, I think I've grown.''

The defeat was painful for Vargas, more emotionally than physically.

The career of the cocky 23-year-old from Oxnard had been on a steady climb with impressive victories over such fighters as Yory ``Boy'' Campas, Raul Marquez and Ike Quartey. He couldn't fathom losing, not even to the great Trinidad.

And then he did. Trinidad, perhaps the best fighter in the world, put Vargas down an embarrassing five times before the fight was mercifully stopped in the 12th and final round. His swagger vanished that night and has yet to return.

However, it was clear to everyone but Vargas that he'd not shamed himself. On the contrary, as he would find out, he won many fans with his courage and astounding ability to continue fighting after a brutal first- round knockdown that would've ended the night of most fighters.

All Vargas knew, though, was that he'd lost and he had to figure out why.

Depressed, the self-described analyzer isolated himself from the world immediately afterward, to avoid the fans he was certain he had let down and to come to terms with his defeat.

He couldn't bring himself to watch the tape of the fight, at least not until months later. Too painful. It wasn't necessary, though: It didn't take long for him figure out what he'd done wrong.

It wasn't his ability that was lacking, at least in his eyes. He said he never for a second has doubted his own remarkable skills.

No, he decided that he fell victim to his own machismo as well as the undeniable talents of Trinidad. Vargas the thoughtful boxer-puncher walked into the ring that night in Las Vegas with the mind set of a brawler.

In retrospect, he realized that he had taken the wrong tack even in sparring. He tried to take each sparring partner out, something he said he'd never done in the past.

What caused the change? In part, it was a response to rival Oscar De La Hoya's performance against Trinidad. De La Hoya was winning the fight but inexplicably ran the final three rounds and lost a disputed decision. Vargas was determined that he'd stand and fight. And, as he quickly discovered, that's suicide against Trinidad.

The pain didn't dissipate entirely when he realized his mistake. It probably will remain with him until he beats Trinidad in a rematch, if it happens. However, the revelation did lift the burden enough to put the experience behind him and continue his career.

``At first, I was mad at myself,'' Vargas said. ``I said, 'How did you lose? You're not supposed to lose.' It hurt, it really did. Then I went over all the possible scenarios in my mind until I knew why it happened and so I was able to deal with it, to learn from it.

``If I lost and didn't know why, it'd drive me crazy. But I did know why and I'll never make the same mistake. I told myself at that point, 'I'm gonna come back and that's it.' ''

But would the fans come back?

Those who watched the fight knew the answer immediately. Vargas wasn't so sure. He's not afraid of much, but he was hesitant to leave his home in the weeks following the fight for fear of the unknown: How would he be received? What if he heard derisive remarks? Worse yet, what if no one approached him at all?

His first night out was with friends at a nightclub near his home in Oxnard. He braced for whatever would come his way and was shocked at what he encountered.

``All these people, hundreds of people came up to me with big old smiles and shook my hand,'' he said. ``I needed to get some security guys, it got so crazy. They were all positive, every one of them. There was no negativity at all.

``I can't tell you how good that made me feel. It helped me a lot, knowing that people were still behind me, still supported me.''

And that was only the beginning. There was the airport scene upon his arrival in El Paso, a rally a few days later that drew an estimated 2,000 and a receiving line after the final news conference in which he signed autographs and took pictures with dozens of fans.

He never looked happier.

``It's nice, it's really nice,'' he said.

And it was nice for the fans. They don't come face to face with too many big-time athletes in these parts. They were grateful that Vargas was there, particularly because of - not in spite of - his performance against Trinidad.

``Against Trinidad, he went down, but then he got back up and made it an incredible fight,'' said Jacob Casillas of El Paso. ``He has so much heart. He's a true champ, a real fighter.''

Eduardo Garcia, Vargas' trainer and father figure, isn't surprised that the fighter's fans - particularly those of Mexican decent - embraced him after his the worst moment in his career.

Vargas is a reflection of them, Garcia said, proud, resilient, worthy of respect even in defeat.

``I know Mexicans and what they want to see is a fighter who won't give up,'' Garcia said through an interpreter. ``He made it to the 12th round and I think they appreciated that.

``People saw a real man in the ring that night. Not every fighter could've done that.''

As promoter Lester Bedford put it: ``It doesn't matter if you lose. It's how you lose.''

Vargas lost in such a way that he emerged a winner. And now he knows it.

VARGAS vs. RIVERA

What: Fernando Vargas (20-1,0, 18 KO's) vs. Wilfredo Rivera (32-4-1, 20 KO's), junior middleweight 

WHEN: Saturday night

WHERE: Don Haskins Center on the campus of the University of Texas-El Paso.

TV: HBO, 10:45 p.m. (delayed)

CAPTION(S):

2 photos, box

Photo:

(1 -- color) Fernando Vargas of Oxnard meets Wilfredo Rivera of Puerto Rico Saturday night in El Paso, his first fight since losing to Felix Trinidad in December.

Victor Calzada/Associated Press

(2) His loss to Felix Trinidad might have given Fernando Vargas a chance to develop a new perspective on himself.

Gus Ruelas/Staff Photographer

Box: VARGAS vs. RIVERA (see text)