: Journey of Discovery; Romantic? Yes. Exciting? Most certainly. But can love conquer the cultural divide? Three couples reveal the ups and downs of overseas relationships.

Byline: Liz Davies 

THE French are considered so romantic, the Spanish so colourful and the Belgians - well, really boring. But falling in love with someone from these countries and making a go of it takes more than just a fascination with the new or the excitement of travel.

Caru Oddi Cartref (Love Away From Home) meets three couples who have taken the plunge across geographical borders and looks at how they have coped. The programme is produced and directed by Nia Dryhurst, who has a little inside knowledge of this since she spent a few years studying and working in Copenhagen and Berlin and met and fell in love with a German.

``It's a journey, really,'' says Nia. ``I had a vested interest in the subject after my own experiences, and wanted to see if there is a secret to finding love away from home. In many ways it's very exciting - you have a foot in two cultures, you belong to two different countries. You perceive borders differently.''

For Nia, making the film was a personal odyssey. ``I'm quite open about this in the film, and admit in the opening credits that I have been through this experience, that I'm now back in Wales, getting back behind the camera. On the other hand, I'm staying a little ambiguous about myself - the film is about the difficulty of sustaining these relationships, seen through the eyes of three couples. Mine failed despite all efforts to keep it alive and the reason why still worries me.

``It's often the small things that make it difficult. It's not just the language - it's the way that it's used. Arthur Dafis, whose wife Carolina is Spanish, told me that one of the areas of difficulties is in humour. Jokes don't translate, and are heavily dependent on the listener understanding the nuances of meaning. He thinks that Carolina feels isolated when he shares a joke with his friends which she doesn't get.''

Arthur and Carolina, at the time Spanish cycling champion, met at a cycling event in Cardiff. ``I spoke no English, and obviously no Welsh,'' she said. ``Then Arthur came along. He'd spent a year in Madrid, and spoke some Spanish. We got talking and got on well.

``After I went back to Spain I got in touch with Arthur and within two months I returned to Wales, and decided to learn English. I guess it was love at first sight.''

That was nine years ago, and the two now live in Talgarreg, near Aberystwyth, with their three daughters, Megan, seven, Ainoa, six, and two-month-old Leire.

Carolina says that adapting to the Welsh way of life wasn't difficult. A Basque from San Sebastian, she understands only too well the fight of a people to preserve its language and culture. But she says that the Welsh weather was the hardest thing to come to grips with. ``In northern Spain it rains a lot and we have snow, but here it just goes on and on. And summer seems to be over in a matter of weeks here, whereas in Spain we have good summers,'' she says. But she loves the autumn, the greenery of the land which reminds her of home, and the fact that they are near the sea.

But she misses the food. ``I cook Spanish food here, and we go out to eat tapas and pizzas when we can. But evenings in Aberystwyth aren't quite what they are in Spain, when everyone goes out into the street. Here everyone goes in for the evenings,'' she says.

Carolina has learnt Welsh, and the three girls are being brought up to speak Spanish, English and Welsh. ``I think it's the best present you can give a child, the gift of languages,'' says Carolina, who naturally misses her family in Spain. But Arthur's family, who live nearby, are a perfect stand-in for her.

Carolina has no regrets about moving away from home. ``I think it's good to know other countries, to learn how other people live. And if there are children it's a positive experience for them. `` Another couple featured in the show are Caron Davies and his wife Ann, who live in Brussels. Caron is perfectly at home there but he says he finds it hard to make really close friends.

Catrin Parry and Pascal Lafargue tried to make a go of it in North Wales, but Pascale found it difficult to get work. He returned to Brittany where he works in the media, and they lived apart for a while. But even the best relationships can get difficult when the two are apart, so Catrin is now moving from her home in Talsarn, Dyffryn Nantlle to join Pascale in Morlaix, where she will do some translating.

``Catrin is one of those people who is determined to make it work,'' says Nia. ``She is willing to take the plunge and take each day as it comes. She says she will worry about things as they arise and not before.''

So does love conquer all? Not in all cases, evidently, and Nia has concluded that there are no easy answers. There is no such thing as the language of love - lovers don't live in a vacuum: they have to interact with the world, absorb a different culture, accept a different way of looking at the world. Even when the two people involved speak a common language like the English of Great Britain and that of Australia or America, cultural differences have to be overcome and understood.

``Catrin sums it up, I think,'' says Nia. ``She says that to understand a person 100 per cent you have to know their first language and you have to understand how to live in that society, too. It takes an extra effort to get it right.''

Caru Oddi Cartref S4C, Monday, 8.35pm

CAPTION(S):

TRUE LOVE: Arthur and Carolina Dafis with baby Leire. `I think it's good to know other countries, to learn how other people live. And if there are children it's a positive experience for them,' says Carolina of life in Wales