'SIDEWALK' FULL OF CRACKS.

Byline: Glenn Whipp Film Critic

You know Ed Burns is in trouble as a filmmaker when the press notes for his new movie, the minor-key Woody Allen facsimile ``Sidewalks of New York,'' tout it as a return to the ``tone and texture of his debut picture, the award-winning 'The Brothers McMullen.' ''

Translation: Burns is still trading off the glory of his one decent motion picture.

Burns is also still trading off on his love for Allen as ``Sidewalks'' plays as a bland version of the Woodman's ``Husbands and Wives.'' Burns' movie features six New Yorkers looking for love and sometimes finding it with each other. The men are generally unfeeling adulterers (with the exception, of course, of the character Burns wrote for himself) and the women are survivors, their emotional detachment undoubtedly brought on by the loutish men skulking those New York sidewalks.

The first sign of trouble comes the minute the movie begins as Burns the director employs a hand-held camera to simulate the creaky man-on-the- street format that Burns the writer has devised. The film's characters each address the camera as if they've been ambushed by a very nosy documentary film crew, one that wants to know the most intimate details of their sex lives.

There's Maria (Rosario Dawson), a grade-school teacher who divorced her doorman husband Benjamin (David Krumholtz) because of his wandering ways. Benjamin now has the hots for Ashley (Brittany Murphy), an NYU student and part-time waitress who doesn't succumb to his advances because she's involved with Griffin (Stanley Tucci), a dentist with a reprehensible moral outlook on life.

Griffin is married to Annie (Heather Graham), a real-estate agent whose clients include Tommy (Burns), a sensitive stud who's looking to buy a loft because his girlfriend has dumped him. Unfortunately the only character in the movie that's interesting and funny is also the one with the least screen time: Carpo (Dennis Farina), Tommy's co-worker who believes that any problem with the opposite sex can be solved by cologne.

Outside of Carpo, the movie is pretty routine. Characters intersect, couples break up, new pairings emerge. Not adept enough at creating situations that would reveal character, Burns relies on his pseudo-documentary structure to fill in most of the blanks. Through Tommy, he delivers the movie's facile moral - nobody has any answers about love, and that's the fun of it.

Raise your hand if you've heard that before. A much more engaging movie could have been made had the movie followed Farina's Carpo, who espouses: ``Nothing heals a broken heart like a brand-new piece of booty.'' Debatable to be sure, but it sure would have been fun to find out if he could make it work.

``SIDEWALKS OF NEW YORK''

(Rated R: language and sexual situation)

The stars: Ed Burns, Rosario Dawson, Dennis Farina, Heather Graham, David Krumholtz, Brittany Murphy, Stanley Tucci.

Behind the scenes: Written and directed by Burns. Released by Paramount Classics.

Running time: One hour, 40 minutes.

Playing: Citywide.

Our rating: Two stars

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Photo:

Dennis Farina, right, imparts some advice to Edward Burns in the romantic comedy ``Sidewalks of New York.''