'BIRDS' NOT READY TO FLY YET.

Byline: David Kronke Television Critic

IF CRIME IN Gotham City - renamed New Gotham - ever got so bad that even Batman flew the coop, who would you send in to wash the scum off those mean streets?

If your answer is three young women in their teens and early 20s, well, then, you're on the same wavelength as the producers of ``Birds of Prey.'' Our heroines are led by Barbara Gordon (Dina Meyer), who took a bite out of crime as Batgirl until the Joker shot her; now confined to a wheelchair, she's computer whiz Oracle monitoring the city from a tall clock tower in the center of town when not teaching Charles Bukowski to high-school students.

Her charges are pretty rough. Helena Kyle (Ashley Scott), the product of a union between Batman and Catwoman, has major anger-management issues. The Joker killed her mom, and dad was never around - off fighting crime, don't you know - so as the Huntress, she's relentlessly mouthy and kind of bitchy, but at least she's got an excuse: ``You try fighting the forces of evil when your blood sugar's low.''

Teenager Dinah (Rachel Skarsten) has weird visions - don't know how that'll help fight bad guys on a regular basis, but there you go. She'll eventually turn into Black Canary, who, if memory serves, emitted concentric circles from her mouth that knocked evildoers on their keisters and, later, when that seemed like she was just talking them to death, picked up some martial-arts moves. Batman's manservant Alfred is still around, droll and efficient as ever, and happily he is not played by Tim Curry.

Tonight's episode - which features eight ``bonus'' minutes (or maybe just extraneous: I can think of several scenes that could easily have been trimmed to contain the overrun) - concerns a group of businessmen dying from apparent suicides. Of course, Oracle knows better, and the episode has plenty of cheesy special effects to back her up.

The show still has to find its footing - it veers between elegant darkness and goofy camp. (Crooks, including Mia Sara as Joker henchwoman Harley Quinn, chew scenery in some scenes like they think they're on the '60s ``Batman'' show.) Lines like ``One thing about New Gotham - things are never what they seem'' and ``There's something going on in this city when the sun goes down, and I intend to find out what it is'' don't do anyone - viewers or actors alike - any good.

And someone should fire the costume designer - with all the skintight leather and Lycra in the world, they couldn't put together moderately sexy costumes for these women? Huntress' garish costume looks like she's chairing an Anne Rice Halloween ball, and the Batgirl outfit (seen in flashbacks and otherworldly sequences) looks stitched from beach-cooler vinyl. And Huntress operates sans mask, which would seem to suggest that her secret identity is not much of a secret.

Still, ``Birds of Prey'' shows promise. But in order to soar, it needs to tone down Scott's abrasive sass and find a consistent tone that complements the show's internal logic.

BIRDS OF PREY - Two and one half stars

What: Batman's bolted Gotham, so Bat-babes are left to battle criminals in New Gotham.

Where: WB (Channel 5).

When: 9 tonight.

In a nutshell: Workable premise, but tonally, ``Birds'' flaps about rudderlessly.

CAPTION(S):

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Photo:

Ashley Scott, left, Dina Meyer and Rachel Skarsten protect a Batman-less New Gotham in the WB's ``Birds of Prey.''