'After all, do I look like a grumpy old man?' A SENIOR MOMENT JOHN THORNTON, 68, of Fixby, a retired head teacher with a teaching career spanning over 35 years, insists he's not a grum;py old man ... it's just that he has a different idea on what makes for an "improvement".

NOW let's make it clear from the start; despite my age I am not a grumpy old man.

It is simply that my generation's standards are much higher than those of the younger generation, and I simply define words differently.

Let me give an example of a different definition.

I often see signs at the roadside stating that Kirklees are making "improvements", but who is it who defines what an "improvement" is?

I regularly drive into town along the, fairly recently, "improved"

Bradford Road.

Since the "improvements" have been made the journey takes much longer.

The local residents are grateful for the double yellow lines, however, which help them to get their wheels neatly in line when they are parking by the kerb.

Nearly 24 years ago my wife and I visited a family who live in Detmold, Germany. They proudly explained to us that the traffic lights on their ring road were linked so that any cars which were travelling at the speed limit were guaranteed that every set of lights would be at green.

This ensured the smooth flow of traffic around and out of the town.

It worked brilliantly.

Any stranger to Huddersfield is guaranteed to be in the wrong lane the moment they have passed through a set of traffic lights.

If they appear to be moving smoothly a little man, the one who defines what an "improvement" is, jumps out and builds a pedestrian crossing.

Couldn't he design them to assist the flow, rather than bring things to a standstill. Or is his definition of an "improvement" to do precisely that?

Leave the ring road along the old Manchester Road in two lanes, then jockey for position as everyone is slapping on brakes for the speed camera carefully positioned to cause maximum aggravation.

As Bruce Forsyth would say: "Good game!"

I challenge any stranger to find their way to the Town Hall in one go or get into the multi-storey car park. Or, better still, to get out of the car park at the end of their visit.

Is it the same bloke who "improved" things by installing that confusing system in the car park.

Was he hoping to save money by introducing those horrendous ticket machines? Never mind, he has employed a chap to stand next to them to explain how it all works.

Obviously a saving.

No-one can get out because the one who has not used it before is blocking the exit. They didn't know!

They foolishly expected that it would operate like most other car parks in the country.

Anybody driven through Milnsbridge lately? Or tried to get to Meltham, let alone drive through it. Mind you, they will have to contend with the traffic lights at Lockwood first.

No, I am definitely not a grumpy old man; just one who places a different interpretation on the word "improvement".

'Any stranger to Huddersfield is guaranteed to be in the wrong lane the moment they have passed through a set of traffic lights'

Get it off your chest

IS there something annoying you? Is there something about today's world that you need to get off your chest? Or is there something you feel is great? If so, why not share it with us?

Each Friday we're giving "seniors" the chance to write on the subject of their choice.

Interested? then tell us in no more than 100 words why it should be you.

Get It Off Your Chest, Features department, Huddersfield Daily Examiner, PO Box A26, Queen Street South, HD1 2TD or email a [e-mail]

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CAPTION(S):

TOWN TALK: John Thornton has his thoughts on the many "improvements"