'25 TO LIFE' LIKE A JAIL SENTENCE.

Byline: Redmond Carolipio Staff Writer

The game ``25 to Life'' is supposed to be the New Age version of cops and robbers.

We're better off sticking with the old one.

Strip away all the social issues and buzz surrounding this title, and you're still left with one of the most generic and utterly useless gaming experiences put on a console or PC. You're just as likely to spend as much time questioning this game's existence as marveling at how poorly constructed it is.

Regardless of your thoughts on the ``Grand Theft Auto'' franchise, at least those games had well-written dialogue and allowed the players to tailor the game experience to their tastes (or lack thereof). For every person who engaged in a random killing spree, there were others who stuck to the missions and immersed themselves in the various plotlines.

``25 to Life'' doesn't bother with any of that, choosing to whittle down the multifaceted world of cops and gangsters into a simplistic gunplay exercise. It's one of the few games out there that actually forces you to play stupidly, making every moment you spend with it seem like an awkward eternity.

Visually, the game is flat and boring. There's a chance you've seen better-looking graphics on the PlayStation Portable. That alone isn't enough to sink this title; the game play does that all by itself.

In single-player mode, you are placed in the role of a gangbanger who's trying to find a way out. While other games and movies have used this kind of story to craft intriguing tales of redemption, in this game, much of your solution comes through blowing away as many cops and other gangsters as possible.

And when the bullets start flying, the game unleashes a barrage of broken game-play mechanics. For instance, the game lets you take hostages, but the virtual cops still shoot at you as if you were holding Osama bin Laden. Most of the time, the hostage ends up dying and you're forced to run around with guns blazing.

There's usually some thought involved in third-person shoot-'em-ups like this, because the enemies in the game do things like take cover, move into position and try to flush the player out. Not here. The enemies scatter all over the screen like marbles, turning any concept of strategy into a chalk outline.

The cherry on top of this ignorant sundae is the delivery of the story itself. Every tired rap and urban cliche you can think of is presented in its full glory.

The dialogue sounds like it's being read from a gangsta rap cue card. Our ``hero'' tells his wife to stop talking about his friend because (in the words of Tupac) ``only God can judge him.''

The National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund has an online petition to pull the game off the shelves. How much of an impact it will have remains to be seen. One almost feels the need to tell the group not to bother - the game itself could do the job for them.

25 TO LIFE - No stars

Platform: PS2, Xbox, PC.

Rated: M for Mature.

In a nutshell: Shoots blanks.

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Photo:

no caption (video game: ``25 to Life'')