"Tough love is in effect here!" Perspectives on coaching and leadership.

Here's a quick, three-part quiz: 1) Name all of the truly inspirational coaches who have touched your life in so many positive ways; 2) Choose the ones who had the most influence on your coaching style; and 3) Point out their most endearing quality or characteristic.

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I don't know how you answered parts one and two, but I'm willing to bet that most of you answered the third part with, "They cared about us."

And isn't that the way it usually goes? The coaches you have tucked away in your memory bank and that special place in your heart are not necessarily the ones who drew the most effective X's and O's, but rather the ones who drew you close to them. They seemed to have a mission that mattered and, more importantly, they convinced you and your teammates that it did matter. Together, you were probably very successful.

Think back on how difficult and demanding those times were, and the number of occasions you considered throwing in the towel--as did a few of your friends.

Eventually, though, the ones who stayed decided to buy into what the coach was teaching and preaching. You learned that if everyone cares enough about the mission, and there is a deep-seated willingness to roll-up the shirt sleeves and get sweaty and dirty, great things can be accomplished.

This is the true essence of leadership: Influencing human behavior, bringing everyone together for a common cause, delegating responsibility, taking ownership of the program, and working with a purpose.

As coaches, we all aspire to be great leaders. We want to emulate those coaches who we admired, followed, and thought of as great leaders.

What follows are some things I've learned from some truly outstanding coaches. Some coached me, while others are relatives, friends, or associates. In all cases, I have come away with a better understanding and knowledge of the leadership qualities that have helped me become a better coach.

No one has all of the answers on this subject, but I have found a great deal of value in these perspectives.

Hopefully, you will find some value in them, as well.

RESPECT AND TRUST

The basic construct of leadership is underpinned with respect and trust. Without this vital foundation, your team doesn't stand a chance. Eventually, it will crumble under the stress of adversity--and adversity is inevitable.

By adversity, I am not solely referring to losing. Losing is tough enough to deal with, but there are a multitude of peripheral conflicts--even those brought about by an inability to handle success--that can chip away at the heart of the team.

It is during these times that we always dig deep for what really holds us together, and when everything else slips out of our grasp, we usually latch-on to respect and trust.

Earning the respect and trust of the players--and having them earn your respect and trust in return--comes only after all parties have "walked the walks" of labor, hardship, success, setbacks, and perseverance.

Respect and trust have their genesis on the cold, early mornings of winter conditioning.

They are welded with the clanging of weights and the grunts of the off-season strength training program.

They are cemented, one hard-earned brick at a time, over spring drills and through the heat of summer conditioning.

They are built during the "ordinary" days, when there is no one around to witness the effort, sweat, agony, and sacrifices that are being made.

There are no fans in the stands, no pep bands, no media, no cheers--just a bunch of eager athletes and coaches pushing the limits to build something great for the "special" days of the season.

Remember, the substance of success goes largely unnoticed, because it is almost always built in small, inconspicuous steps.

Respect and trust don't come easy, but that is why they are so valued. Everyone involved had to use both hands to build them, thus they become the common thread that binds the soul of the team.

Build team respect and trust first. Everything else you believe in will then have solid footing.

BE A "DIFFERENCE MAKER"

Leadership is about making a positive difference. Just saying, "That's the way we've always done it," doesn't cut it, if the status quo isn't getting it done successfully.

Change can be good.

Sometimes, change is necessary for growth. We must be willing and able to adapt to change and, if possible, have a positive impact on it.

Most people in the world are reactors, waiting for events to affect them before taking action. They really don't know if something is good or bad, right or wrong, until the end result.

Conversely, leaders step-up; they take control and use their imaginations, analysis, enthusiasm, and experiences to take positive, meaningful, and powerful actions.

People follow a leader whose vision inspires them and adds meaning to their lives. That vision helps people see past today and into a bright future. Everyone wants to be motivated to aim for something higher than what they believe can be achieved.

Your athletes look to you as being a difference maker. They want something better; they just don't know how to get there. You are there to help them clear the path.

You can make the all-important difference in their lives--a difference they want and need.

Initially, they may fight and squabble about the discipline and daily grind you have imposed upon them, but deep down in their hearts, they know it is necessary for success.

BE COURAGEOUS

We are always telling our players to show courage. But what is courage?

Courage can be defined as being able to keep going when the burden is heavy and there is no end in sight.

The first step in showing courage is being willing to step out of your comfort zone. Great leaders are able to leave the ease and quiet behind and decide which beliefs to hold onto and which to consider modifying. They are willing to take a certain amount of calculated risk, because they know that not making a decision is a decision to do nothing. And doing nothing has never resulted in victory.

Don't be afraid of making mistakes, they are seldom terminal. You will make a mistake on occasion, just be willing and able to learn from it.

Remember: Good judgment comes from experience- good, bad, or indifferent.

As with just about everything in life, the courage we exemplify is empowered by our attitude. We have the choice to adopt an attitude that opens our eyes to all of the valuable possibilities available to us.

Our attitudes not only define who we are, but the quality of what we achieve.

A courageous attitude is mandatory for leadership. Courage breeds courage, and you will find your players developing the inner fight that will help them now and throughout their lives.

ONE HEART, ONE MIND

As the ultimate team leader, it is the coach's job to instill a great work ethic in everyone around him. Of course, instilling a great work ethic starts at the top.

Your players and coaches know what kind of worker you are, and they admire and are drawn to your passion for the game like a magnet.

Earlier, I mentioned that everyone must use both hands in this building process. With everyone's hands involved in the work, a bunch of individuals can become a true team.

And isn't that the most rewarding part of coaching: To see all of those diverse personalities, varying talent levels and wavering attitudes grow and develop into one heart, one mind?

A sign on my office window reads, "Tough love is in effect here: We will not accept you as you are. Instead, we will show you a vision of what you could be, and help you achieve it."

When former athletes drop me a line now and then, many of them sign-off with "Tough Love Forever!"

By Ken Mannie, Strength/Conditioning Coach, Michigan State University