"Is that a pun in your pocket, or ...?".

To publicize my two wordplay books, which were published in the early 1990s, I prepared a talk that I delivered in such exotic places as Paris and Jersey City. (Really!)

In that presentation, I advocated the view that puns, despite their reputation as a "low" form of humor, are in fact a sophisticated and cerebral art form. In skilled hands, they can be surprisingly rarefied and literate, calling upon one's knowledge, education, and reasoning skills. In order to "get" the double meaning of a pun that turns upon a literary or historical allusion, the reference must be understood.

The examples that follow are my own creations. At least, I think they're original, for one can never be absolutely certain that a Franciscan monk in 1585 didn't come up with that great quip about the Microsoft Windows interface. Some appeared in magazine competitions, letters to the editor in newspapers, and other places where finer puns are found.

If you're not 100 percent satisfied with this collection, just remember the words of Harry Winston: "They can't all be gems!"

Costumers for last year's Planet of the Apes remake: Apparel of Monkeys

Podiatrist malpractice: Callous neglect

Cleopatra's autobiography: I, of the Needle

V.I.P. seating at the Roman Coliseum: Caesarean Section

Innovation that made pop-up Kleenex possible: Connective tissue

Queen Victoria's riposte to a sycophantic court painter: "We are not a muse"

Japanese restaurant with 1920s decor: Sashimi Like My Sister Kate

Slogan of the cryogenic immortality movement: "If this be freezin', make the most of it!"

Camille relocated to Little Italy: They made her a cougher; she couldn't refuse

The complete book of natural pain relief: Endorphins of the Storm

Why the toaster always seems too small: Procrustean bread

Mr. Coffee returns from Soviet Russia: "I have seen the future and it perks"

Recipe for an O. Henry cocktail: A Manhattan, add saccharin, serve with a twist

Museum of Modern Art announces major Warhol exhibition: Kitschy coup!

Now things become even more erudite and challenging. The following specimens exemplify one of my favorite categories: the bilingual pun, which turns on a foreign word or phrase. As a matter of fairness, all expressions thus employed have achieved some degree of currency among English speakers.

Impenetrable abstract art movement: Idiots' avant

Venerable French film journal champions American Western movies: Yippie yi-yo Cahiers!

The Blob, 1958 horror movie, gets Gallic remake: Chacun a son goo

Another revival of Cyrano de Bergerac: Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme nose

Gossipy novel of bohemian early 20th century art world: Roman a Klee

Venue for logicians' convention: A site for sorites 

Peppy cheer for rent-a-car sales force: Ra ra Avis

Remembrance of Halloweens past: Nostalgie de la "boo!"

Snail mail: S-cargo

Literary Onomastics 

Robert Fieissner has written several short Word Ways articles on literary topics over the years: wordplay in Shakespearean titles (Aug 1990), the meaning of Scrooge's "Humbug!" (Nov 1990), marry-merry-Mary wordplay in "As You Like It" (Aug 1992), the origin of Nancy Drew (May 1994), and the linguistic similarity of Copperfield and Caufield (Nov 1994). One can deduce from these that Fieissner's onomastic interests are wide-ranging, and this supposition is verified by his latest book, Names, Titles and Characters by Literary Writers: Shakespeare, 19th- and 20th-Century Authors (Mellen Press, 2001). In it, he delves deeply into biographical, historical, literary and philosophical reasons why an author may have selected a given name. He writes with authority, illuminating the speculations of other scholars with his own meticulously-reasoned conclusions.

The 221-page hardcover (ISBN 0-7734-7524-9), sells for a pricey $89.95, probably because Mellen expects to place most books in the hands of the small community of scholars specializing in literary onomastics.

DON HAUPTMAN
New York, New York