"Dangling Blue Sparkling Earrings"

What makes you feel good about yourself? Are our attitudes developed by our parents? What about our level of confidence in ourselves? I am a shopper. My daughter is a shopper. We shop to make us feel better. Does it work? You bet. We look at each other and wonder, why we walk into a store and gravitate to the most expensive piece there? Is this a trait or gene picked up from my mother? Do we inherit those "high priced wants and desires", or is it a learned behavior as in the "dogs" used in Pavlofs theory. Lets look at the experiment.

It was only two weeks ago my daughter and I went shopping and purchased not one
pair but three pairs of flip flops. Who needs three pair of flip flops? Now these are not your everyday flip flops, you understand. They have the approval
of all girly girls on the universe. Some have sparkles, beads, jewels, bows,
charms hanging on them, and come in the colors we search out and have to have
in order that they match our outfit. Not only did neither of us need these
shoes, but neither of us had the spare bucks needed to pay for them. I surely
needed my money for food, medical, medicine, and above all else, legal expenses.
I am in the mist of a terrible divorce. Unfortuately for me, I met this guy
on the internet and worse, I think anyway, he is a real sociopath. Before we met, I was what would be described as real live eye candy. The type those self absorbed men want on their arm when they are trying to impress someone. Of
course, being almost the dumb blonde type, I didn't realize I was the infamous
eye candy. Insulting to my very own intellengence but I had my own business
and made alot of dollars to throw away on those dangling, sparkling, and
needless things we have convinced ourselves we simply must have.
Do we inherit these character traits? My mother, well she always wanted
and had to have the best also. After the birth of my daughter, we would shop
until we dropped and dressed her as if she were a doll. Seeking out the
ah's and oh's while we had her out in her designer, burp on, uncomfortable,
but oh so cute, onesy. As my daughter continued to grow and age, her taste
in clothes and shoes magnified into all things girls like and want; no doubt costing us a fortune. But I could not fault her, I was the same way. I have
a grandson and he is in to his clothes. He wants them to be just so and from
just this trendy store. He's only 10 so I think he must of gotten the
gene. He likes shoes, too. So its not just girls that we tend to make like
clothing and shoes and sparkling things that are oh so cute. The guys and
boys, like to be sexy, cute, and GQ also. Like I told my daughter, your
husband likes you to be sexy and likes those sparkling jewels on your feet,
and those streaks in your hair, so get over it, it cost alot of money and
its hard work too just hurting for all this unique stuff.
As she and I went in and out of, store after store, we were in search of the rare one of a kind "thing" that no doubt would be the talk of the office, school, church, or where ever we would be. As we would enter and look around searching to be sure no one had what we did, we could surely spot it, Oh my, look at that, why didn't we find it when we were out? Now as she is grown and has her own family, my daughter and I have changed none. While fighting my way back to reality and happiness from the sociopath, I have learned what again makes me feel good about me. Shoes and stuff I can visualize myself wearing.
She and I now are in search of rare and out of way places. No malls for us, we need those small shops no one knows about. Our stuff is unique and one of
a kind. Being the real girly girls we are, when we shop we must have lunch.
But not just any lunch, it has to come from the little tea shop with the
little hand made, soft daily made bread, homemade potato chips, and the
desert that is out of this world. As we sit there eating and enjoying our
out of the way place, we are no doubt looking around to make sure, no one
has something we might have missed while shopping. Then it happens, the flipflop of the century and it wasn't on either of our feet. They were the cutest things we had no doubt ever seen. Must haves for girly girls. Camo material with little sparkling jewels on them. Oh my, my daughter actually goes up to her an stops her and ask where she got them. As the lady remarks, I am so glad you asked, thats how she found them, stopping and asking someone who had them on where she got them, We paid in a hurry and went directly in search of the store with the one of a kind camoflage flipflop. We get there, no luck, they are all sold out. Disappointed we left and went to our homes to rest up and decide where we would go next time.
Looking at our resources, both of us made a pack with each other, no more
shopping. Neither of us have the money to be buying all this stuff needless
to mention, where we thought we would be going to wear it either; since we
both are the ultimate home body. But boy when we go out, we are looking good.
I've written several books and as I await my fortune, my dream for myself and
my daughter will be to make it big enough to go to Paris. So we have embarked
on this task. A visualization room, if you will it to you, it will come or
happen! I have a box with the Effel Tower on it, pictures on my walls, and
now everywhere we go, we look for signs it will happen. After our pack, we
promised we would hang out at home and not shop for awhile, except for one
flaw in the plan. We already had appointments to get the hair done. You can't
get the hair done up without going out for lunch and fun afterwards. So we
planned our day to go about our business but with little shopping and
spending except for the hair. Enter her feet, Oh God, I said. I have to have
them, where did you find those shoes. The cutest shoes and yes they sparkled
and were high and just perfect. She says, I told you, you would want them when you saw them. After we finished with the hair, we hurried to the place where she had found the shoes.
As we entered the store I am saying to myself, only the shoes, nothing
else. I had just transferred money from savings to pay some of the credit
card bills from our past shopping trips recently. As I walked through the
store I could have gone nuts spending. I asked about the shoes and to my
surprise, they were out. NO, I must have them. They are so cute. Nothing
like I have ever seen. Who cares if they are not comfortable, cause damn girl
they look good. Then I saw them, hanging up on the wall, they were so dainty,
sparkling, blue and crystal, calling my name. Earrings. They were so cute,
I had to have them. So I picked them up and continued on looking around.
Then the lady discovered she had made a mistake and did after all have the
one last pair of the shoes that were just my size, I must have them, too.
And of course the little out of the way shop had our underwear we like to
wear, so I had to have a couple pairs of them, in just the cutest pink and
orange colors. After we both paid for our stuff and were just so "happy"
with our finds we walked out of the shop and right into the shop next door.
Of all things, it was stuff for the house, and it had a fan my daughter
just had to have and of course, Paris still calling my name, they had
bar soap actually made in France and in just the most delightful smells.
So yes, I paid $7.00 for a bar of soap which I will never use, not because
its not useable, but its just "eye candy." The soap goes along with all the
other things that are willing our trip to Paris in our way. My success is awaiting me and with each and every find, Paris is coming closer and closer.
We paid for our stuff, walked out and got in the car, and I immediately
placed the earrings on. Wow, after our morning of both being what I describe
as "pissy" how both of our personalities became, charmed and smiling.
Everywhere we went we felt so good about ourselves, and knew everyone who
saw us wanted our new finds. We ended up going to the mall where I immediately
purchase 2 more pair of shoes. But they were just so cute on my feet,
I could not resist. Is this behavior one that is learned, as when you walk
in the store you navigate directly to the shoe department. I know in one
store we frequent, the shoe department is directly at the door entrance.
My earrings made me so happy, I just knew they looked great on my ears.
The funny thing, I had not even taken the time to look at them, I was going
only by what my daughter said, Oh they are so cute!!! Is there something in
our gene makeup that some women must have, shoes, purses, sparkling, sexy,
sometimes pink stuff to make us have a sense of confidence? Is it a social
stigma we place on ourselves? Does it give us a certain social standing?
Its my opinion, yes, it makes me have more confidence, yes, it is a
learned behavior, and most definitely its a social status element used to
climb the ladder of class. All of this from one pair of dangling, sparkling,
blue and cute dainty earrings. Until we shop again, buy my book; "In The Arms of a Sociopath" available at any online store, Barnes and Noble, Amazon, UK stores, Asia, Australia, Japan and please don't forget Paris, France. Thank you and I would love to hear from our girly girl friends out there on your opinion of shopping and what makes you feel good about YOU.
Like dogs to food, when the sales coupon arrives in the mail, or the new
shipment of shoes and clothes and sparkling things arrive; we come running.
Sandie

SK Covey
www.skcovey.webs.com